Hey guys. Dunno if y'all like the daily Baphirmations but I'll keep em coming cause it's my house:
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This hit home for me today. Dunno how many of you have followed the drama with my lifting and surgeries etc but the TLDR; is - I'm a better-than-average strength athlete in competitive powerlifting. My last couple meets went badly and were followed by a series of freak accidents and surgeries that have precluded me from being able to squat and deadlift heavy and redeem myself.
Finally on the other side of this last injury where they had to screw my left foot back together and re-anchor a snapped tendon. If you'll recall that happened after 20 weeks of physical therapy rehabbing my most recent right knee surgery and the day before I was going to have my first gym squat in a year.
So now I'm finally cleared to lift on the foot, but the right knee I rehabbed was trashed when I was non-weight bearing. I spent 8 weeks after surgery walking, pivoting, standing and sitting on only my bad knee.
Two weeks in on the second set of extremely light squats (less than 300 pounds, my max was in the mid 6's) and I feel a bunch of cartilage-ey crunching and my knee shoot acute pain out like fireworks. I limped through the rest of the workout but I'm fairly certain it was more cartilage in the knee socket de-laminating and that I gave myself another bone bruise where the knee is bone-on-bone.
I rested for a week, iced etc. Started feeling better so I did another light light squat workout. Felt good, I was excited. Watched the video: I'm basically squatting with only my left leg and not loading the right knee at all.
So now I'm trying to to get too final on myself but it's hard not to imagine things like never getting to compete again. Never getting to realize my potential or redeem my shit last performance. Etc.
In the end that's only a knife in the back of my own pride, no one else gives a shit. And I'll never stop striving to be remarkably different or great at something in the physical domain.
Probably the goals would just change from squatting like Brandon Allen:
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To being jacked like Luke Carrol:
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Also I have
flu and some lingering depression from the 8 weeks off my feet. Part of my process is dumping on you fine folks so if you're reading this thanks for listening.
If you don't like what I have to say, we can fight. I'll drop a pin MF, say I wont.
Ok bye