chickenman
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Just had to step away for awhile so I could try to figure things out....
The sudden passing of my friend right before my eyes really freaked me out for several reasons...
First of all I feel I was meant somehow to be there to help my friends get thru this.
All day we went back and forth weather or not to go visit. I arrived and no less than 1 minute he had his attack.
It was absolutely horrible. Took forever for medics to arrive and when the 1 st ambulance came they were not equipped for advanced life saving. the 2nd ambulance came and at least 45 to mins to 1 hour after attack.
He had shit all over the place, was combative, wanted to get up, They got him out of bathroom on kitchen floor where he fought pleading to get up. We held him down and the medic ordered a shot of adavian and as soon as he got it his eyes glazed and he went limp and I think that's when he died. the medic said that's normal. Sure did not look right to me, we got him to ambulance by carrying him 75 yards cause the driver could not get in driveway because they attempted to back in instead of going forward due to snow.
When we arrived at hospital and were informed of his death his wife was very upset. after no longer than 5 mins. the ER RN came in and asked how you doing?? We need his name, Soc # date of birth, I told her we need some time here please her response was well we have a lot of work to do here we need to get this done I told her I will get the info., she just lost her husband please. she glared at me and left. I was too numb to react but did ask for supervisor to take info as I am upset with the Rn on duty. Will report this to administration..
The coroner came in and we discussed what happened could the shot killed him he said no. He said massive heart attack are you comfortable or do you wish an autopsy. She was ready to sign off on that and I told her lets wait and think this over, they did do one and results are pending.
The poor widow now has no income, his SS benefits will not pass on, they took back this months payment.
His goats miss him iam sure looking for him, but he's not there.
We took the wife in for 4 days. Gave her some Canna milk and it made her sick as hell way too high, she is 53 and never had cannabis.
She has family with her now, coming for dinner tonight..
So what really hit me hard was the though of sudden death and what we would do without each other, my wife and I
She depends on me for things like a nice hot fire in the morning, cooking great meals, taking care of the farm, giving her the support and love she needs to get thru our dilemma which is her 97 year old mother who is pretty much gone but just will not let go and be at rest.
I depend on her for her love which has saved me and makes me whole.
I always say live each day to the fullest, but those seemed like just words when something like this happens it just drains one emotionally and hits hard.
They were kind of new to the community however folks are rallying and donations are being sent, a service at the grange is pending....
Still haunts me the whole ordeal, some how this was meant to be just hard to figure out, but the lesson is live it up and be nice to wife cause someday we will no longer be together and that blows my mind thinking about all this and that.
Yesterday's gone today's, today tomorrows, tomorrow live for today, do as much as you can, but don't over do it most of all love each other while we can...
Thanks all hope you understand.
I also hope you all understand that I am not perfect.
I still deal with a lot of shit like everybody else in life and am no better than anybody else, just pretty damn blessed and lucky for some reason to have found this woman who puts up with a lot and loves me un conditionally and brings out the goodness in me. If it were not for her I would have nothing and be nothing. that's what's so scary. We need each other to live and what would ever happen if we were apart...
Took some time and hiked up the river Sat. night with 2 friends, camped out. Over did it somewhat carrying a heavy backpack, was still just what I needed to get mind off the situation. will take time to get thru all this..
I know my friend would not wanted to have survived and been a basket case. who knows if shot killed him, will coroners report be legit, who knows, all we know is my friend is gone and it's hard to accept the way he left us, not peaceful at all. he was a martial arts expert and went like a warrior. Time to get to work all and get my mind off this for awhile....
The sudden passing of my friend right before my eyes really freaked me out for several reasons...
First of all I feel I was meant somehow to be there to help my friends get thru this.
All day we went back and forth weather or not to go visit. I arrived and no less than 1 minute he had his attack.
It was absolutely horrible. Took forever for medics to arrive and when the 1 st ambulance came they were not equipped for advanced life saving. the 2nd ambulance came and at least 45 to mins to 1 hour after attack.
He had shit all over the place, was combative, wanted to get up, They got him out of bathroom on kitchen floor where he fought pleading to get up. We held him down and the medic ordered a shot of adavian and as soon as he got it his eyes glazed and he went limp and I think that's when he died. the medic said that's normal. Sure did not look right to me, we got him to ambulance by carrying him 75 yards cause the driver could not get in driveway because they attempted to back in instead of going forward due to snow.
When we arrived at hospital and were informed of his death his wife was very upset. after no longer than 5 mins. the ER RN came in and asked how you doing?? We need his name, Soc # date of birth, I told her we need some time here please her response was well we have a lot of work to do here we need to get this done I told her I will get the info., she just lost her husband please. she glared at me and left. I was too numb to react but did ask for supervisor to take info as I am upset with the Rn on duty. Will report this to administration..
The coroner came in and we discussed what happened could the shot killed him he said no. He said massive heart attack are you comfortable or do you wish an autopsy. She was ready to sign off on that and I told her lets wait and think this over, they did do one and results are pending.
The poor widow now has no income, his SS benefits will not pass on, they took back this months payment.
His goats miss him iam sure looking for him, but he's not there.
We took the wife in for 4 days. Gave her some Canna milk and it made her sick as hell way too high, she is 53 and never had cannabis.
She has family with her now, coming for dinner tonight..
So what really hit me hard was the though of sudden death and what we would do without each other, my wife and I
She depends on me for things like a nice hot fire in the morning, cooking great meals, taking care of the farm, giving her the support and love she needs to get thru our dilemma which is her 97 year old mother who is pretty much gone but just will not let go and be at rest.
I depend on her for her love which has saved me and makes me whole.
I always say live each day to the fullest, but those seemed like just words when something like this happens it just drains one emotionally and hits hard.
They were kind of new to the community however folks are rallying and donations are being sent, a service at the grange is pending....
Still haunts me the whole ordeal, some how this was meant to be just hard to figure out, but the lesson is live it up and be nice to wife cause someday we will no longer be together and that blows my mind thinking about all this and that.
Yesterday's gone today's, today tomorrows, tomorrow live for today, do as much as you can, but don't over do it most of all love each other while we can...
Thanks all hope you understand.
I also hope you all understand that I am not perfect.
I still deal with a lot of shit like everybody else in life and am no better than anybody else, just pretty damn blessed and lucky for some reason to have found this woman who puts up with a lot and loves me un conditionally and brings out the goodness in me. If it were not for her I would have nothing and be nothing. that's what's so scary. We need each other to live and what would ever happen if we were apart...
Took some time and hiked up the river Sat. night with 2 friends, camped out. Over did it somewhat carrying a heavy backpack, was still just what I needed to get mind off the situation. will take time to get thru all this..
I know my friend would not wanted to have survived and been a basket case. who knows if shot killed him, will coroners report be legit, who knows, all we know is my friend is gone and it's hard to accept the way he left us, not peaceful at all. he was a martial arts expert and went like a warrior. Time to get to work all and get my mind off this for awhile....
