THE TRAINWRECK. Brought to you by thcfarrmer…..

[closettrapper217]

I dated a chick with lazy eye once. It didn't work out, I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

One of my favorite teenage memories is banging this lazy eyed chick in the back of my friends Chevy cavalier on New Year’s Eve.

The eye contact was out of this world!

 

[Captspaulding]

feds lol

I do a lot of sketchy things. Unfortunately this won’t be one of em lol

But if anyone is trying to make some cold hard cash… haha

IdiotS
You know people who think that that any of us sell are out of their fucking minds
It’s so stupid on its face if they wanna fucking find a supplier, let them go on Facebook marketplace instead fucking fuck

 

[Captspaulding]

What I'm expecting with the new Fox Farm...View attachment 2497990

With Fox farm, huh?

Best of luck, my friend Godspeed

 

[Captspaulding]

File for reference: Chairman is extremely weird about music and often hates things for mystifying reasons.

But Billy Strings is one of those WHAT THE FUCK MAN. Like he seems to have every skill and opportunity to be interesting but he refuses to be. So I'm stuck listening to a guy who says you should listen to him without giving me anything to listen to, other than what he purports to expand upon. Like... an LSD analog. It's almost but not quite LSD when you've everything telling your body to expect is LSD.

Yeah, Billy strings is something that boy can rip

 

[Captspaulding]

Just put on Pantera 101 proof, you'll be jacked tomorrow.

The version of dom/hollow on that album, like phil says at the breakdown,
“Thats fucking badass!”

 

[Captspaulding]

The version of dom/hollow on that album, like phil says at the breakdown,
“Thats fucking badass!”

 

[Captspaulding]

These apes move at their own pace

Just like me haha

Yeah, they’re definitely slow on colonization, though they are ripper boomers

 

[Captspaulding]

One of my favorite teenage memories is banging this lazy eyed chick in the back of my friends Chevy cavalier on New Year’s Eve.

The eye contact was out of this world!

Like “whos behind us!?!!?!
Oh wait, nvermind”

For me, it was this chick who had one arm that was smaller than the other
When she grabbed my junk, she made it look huge

 

[Captspaulding]

I'm just grateful we don't have a verbal morality code, or I'd be fucked.

I’d be able to build a house out of fines
I still wonder about the three seashells all the time

 

[Captspaulding]

My RO system came in today. I’m pretty stoked.

 

[Captspaulding]

With Fox farm, huh?

Best of luck, my friend Godspeed

Start at a quarter strength
You be crazy if you went full strength through you’ll fuck everything up
Take their feeding chart and use it as kindling
For the love of God

 

[closettrapper217]

Like “whos behind us!?!!?!
Oh wait, nvermind”

For me, it was this chick who had one arm that was smaller than the other
When she grabbed my junk, she made it look huge

I’m used to chicks not looking at me during the act. It’s that one eye that was staring at me with that dead look in it that I can’t get out of my mind lmao

 

[Captspaulding]

I’m used to chicks not looking at me during the act. It’s that one eye that was staring at me with that dead look in it that I can’t get out of my mind lmao

Everytime you remember her. Is just like seeing a black cat in the matrix. Or having dejavu,
Thats when the suits are coming,
Have the fear bro

 

[Captspaulding]

Out fkn standing! Damn you're getting good at this ai shit!

Pyle is hands down my favorite so far.
Fear and clowning a close second.

 

[Captspaulding]

Still-On-the-Books U.S. Laws

(some are state, some local, some federal; all are real)

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Ridiculously Specific

1. Alabama – It’s illegal to wear a fake mustache in church if it causes laughter.
2. Arizona – You can’t let a donkey sleep in a bathtub.
3. California – A frog that dies in a frog-jumping contest must be destroyed. You can’t eat it.
4. Connecticut – Pickles must bounce to be legally sold as pickles.
5. Georgia – You can’t eat fried chicken with utensils in Gainesville (yes, they enforce it for tourists).

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Absurdly Broad

1. Federal – It’s illegal to remove a tag from a mattress if you’re not the consumer.
2. Federal – Mailing an “improperly sealed” package can technically be a federal offense.
3. Federal – Using your neighbor’s Wi-Fi without permission could be charged as a felony under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act.
4. Massachusetts – Singing the national anthem incorrectly (or as part of a medley) can get you fined.

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Vaguely Dangerous

1. Minnesota – You can’t cross state lines with a duck on your head.
2. New York – It’s illegal to walk around with an ice cream cone in your back pocket on Sundays (originally to prevent horse theft).
3. Oklahoma – You can’t make faces at a dog.

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The “You’re Already Guilty” Stuff

1. Federal – Downloading an image from the internet without proper license = copyright infringement (possible felony).
2. Federal – “Structuring” your bank deposits (breaking them into smaller amounts to avoid reporting) is a federal crime—even if the money is legal.
3. State-level – Driving 1 mph over the limit + any minor paperwork error (expired license, insurance card in wrong name) can stack into a criminal charge in some states.

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Moral of the story:
Between outdated, oddly specific, and overbroad laws, it’s almost impossible to go a week without technically breaking something. Most aren’t enforced… until they are.

 

[Justlovetogrow]

Goin through some old photos it’s been 186 days since my last harvest exactly half a year I reckon I’ve got 6 months of smoko left so my maths says get growing ya lazy bastard so I’m gunna put ANOTHER seed order in this time I’m sending it to mums I’m sick of losing em think my addy may be flagged so wish me luck

 

[Captspaulding]

Goin through some old photos it’s been 186 days since my last harvest exactly half a year I reckon I’ve got 6 months of smoko left so my maths says get growing ya lazy bastard so I’m gunna put ANOTHER seed order in this time I’m sending it to mums I’m sick of losing em think my addy may be flagged so wish me luck View attachment 2498405View attachment 2498406View attachment 2498407View attachment 2498408

That sounds like an actual good idea, dude to have it sent to The Duke’s crib.
You know if you’re gonna do that you may wanna hit me up
Maybe we can slay the beast this time

 

[Justlovetogrow]

That sounds like an actual good idea, dude to have it sent to The Duke’s crib.
You know if you’re gonna do that you may wanna hit me up
Maybe we can slay the beast this time

Nope il get some shitty MSNL genetics before I burn yours again Cap I still spew in my mouth a little everytime I think about Aus Kuntstoms getting all them seeds I appreciate ya though mate ya know that

 

[Captspaulding]

Nope il get some shitty MSNL genetics before I burn yours again Cap I still spew in my mouth a little everytime I think about Aus Kuntstoms getting all them seeds I appreciate ya though mate ya know that

No worries, man it still gives me heartburn too it literally drives me crazy still
It was like a fucking challenge to a duel
“Oh yeah? You pricks wanna go?”

 

[closettrapper217]

This thing bout to put out