THE TRAINWRECK. Brought to you by thcfarrmer…..

[amneziaHaze]

I've done more reasearches:
Thread Title: [INNOVATION] Underwater Drying Chamber: The Future of Terpene Preservation and Hydrophobic Curing™


Alright boys and girls, hold onto your hydrometers, because I’m about to drop the kind of innovation that makes vacuum drying look like rubbing your buds on a radiator. For years, the cannabis community has been fixated on relative humidity, airflow, and temperature — but not one of you has had the courage to ask the question that’s been bubbling beneath the surface:




Yes. Underwater.


Now before you spit out your bong water and start typing angry rebuttals about “mold” or “oxygen deprivation,” allow me to explain the hydrothermodynamic logic behind this. You see, air drying is primitive. It’s caveman stuff. You’re exposing delicate trichomes to oxygen, UV light, and all manner of invisible goblins that snatch away your terpenes like pickpockets at a Dead show.


But underwater — ah, underwater, gentlemen — we have control.

The Science™​

When cannabis is submerged in temperature-stabilized water, a process known to hydrodynamicists (which I just became five minutes ago) as reverse vapor diffusion occurs. In this state, the chlorophyll molecules surrender their soluble components to the water while the hydrophobic terpene oils form what experts refer to as a nano-emulsion field.


In simpler terms: the stink stays in.


By maintaining a low, steady current of water — say, 0.2 liters per minute through a carbon-filtered, UV-sterilized, magnetically-vortexed system moisture is “gently coerced” out of the buds via osmotic humility. You are not dominating your plant. You are partnering with it.

The Method​

Step 1: Harvest your plants and trim to your liking. Cry a little bit; it’s a spiritual act.
Step 2: Place the buds in a drying chamber, which is a fish tank with a lid and maybe some tubing.
Step 3: Fill with filtered water — ideally glacier melt or reverse-osmosis water , try adding pennies and stuff.
Step 4: Add two teaspoons of Himalayan salt per gallon. Not for flavor, but to “align the ionic field.” (It also keeps the fish away.)
Step 5: Maintain water temperature between 68–70°F. Cold water will shock the trichomes; hot water will cook your dreams.
Step 6: After 5–7 days, drain slowly, allowing the buds to “acclimate to air” like astronauts re-entering the atmosphere.

NOW flash dry in a 750 degree oven for 3 hours.
You’ll know it’s done when the buds are polyunsaturated.

The Results​

What you’re left with is what I call Hydro-Cured Cannabis™: perfectly hydrated, oxygen-free, and absurdly fresh. The smoke is smoother than a jazz bassist’s intro.


Lab tests (conducted by me, on myself) revealed a 300% increase in terpene spiritual retention and a “mouthfeel” comparable to licking an expensive river stone.


And before you doubt me, remember: the Romans used aqueducts. The Egyptians used the Nile. NASA uses water-cooled suits. You think you’re better than NASA?

Optional Upgrades​

• Add a sous-vide heater for temperature control (set it to “Steak Medium Rare”).
• Circulate the water through a UV sterilizer.
• For maximum efficiency — play whale sounds during the process. Sound waves break up surface tension.

Final Thoughts​

You can laugh all you want, but once the “Underwater Dry Cure Movement” takes off, you’ll be the fool with crispy buds and lost flavor, while I’m over here with jars of trichome-preserved mermaid weed.


And if you’re wondering how to market it: call it “Aquaponic Terp Preservation.” People will pay extra just to sound like they understand what that means.


Anyway, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. The future of cannabis isn’t in the air, my friends. It’s below the surface.

Tried it lost all my terps and joints are salty

 

[amneziaHaze]

Thank you! I'm fixing to grow inside this winter for the first time and I need to know this.

Does that mean if i have lots of water and weak nutes i can force her to transpire and she will grow more?

 

[ChairmanFester]

A minor problem in this plan to "monster the crop" or what have you... I had thought it was re-veg the whole plant. But no, this is taking flowering clones in week 2 of flower.
How nice that I have no idea what age Carly is. I think flower's been on for a month or so? Is that too late because I would be diving head first into cloning which I have not done. I can get rockwool cubes and gel I think no problem. And then it's chop leaves mid-fat part for transpiration? Humidity dome?
Then how long until back in soil?
So many Questions, unless I can simply revert the entire thing to veg?

 

[ChairmanFester]

I can't... in like the time I slept, Ukraine offered Trump a peace prize (PEACE) in exchange for missiles.
The Russia nominated him for a P-E-A-C-E prize because he answered in the affirmative to the idea. (?)
PEACE prize.
And we're debating about making pot 100% legal.
(fuck)
[don't make it political, it's just retarded]

 

[PlumberSoCal2]

I can't... in like the time I slept, Ukraine offered Trump a peace prize (PEACE) in exchange for missiles.
The Russia nominated him for a P-E-A-C-E prize because he answered in the affirmative to the idea. (?)
PEACE prize.
And we're debating about making pot 100% legal.
(fuck)
[don't make it political, it's just retarded]

Do you have a disease like tourettes
but with politics? Honestly, it's not difficult to refrain from talking politics. I've got over 40K memes and 90% are political yet no one here has seen them. Why? Because it's as easy not to post them as it is not to bring up politics here. Why is this so difficult? I don't understand Anyone? Buhler?

 

[ChairmanFester]

I directly said I wasn't putting that element up for discussion and the point is that the world is crazy.
Alternatively, why frame it as something it loudly self labels against?

 

[ChairmanFester]

In fact I repeatedly emphasize that though a thing may appear or be a small part political I am avoiding that part.

 

[cannafarmer420]

View attachment 2543520
Do you have a disease like tourettes
but with politics? Honestly, it's not difficult to refrain from talking politics. I've got over 40K memes and 90% are political yet no one here has seen them. Why? Because it's as easy not to post them as it is not to bring up politics here. Why is this so difficult? I don't understand Anyone? Buhler?

Who cares, just ignore them. I dont understand why its a big deal. Not attacking you plumber, just genuinely curious? A man's super power is to not care, we should use it. Have a good day guys

 

[PlumberSoCal2]

 

[ChairmanFester]

.

 

[ChairmanFester]

idk something about harvest, I was paying attention to other things. It's better when she doesn't talk.

 

[Mikedin]

Wow long morning of watering

 

[ChairmanFester]

...one of the tents is fallow, of course it IS a field stuffed into a bag.
Lights on today I'm putting in 2 pots of 4 dripper watering and pumping it out of a bucket. Actually from one bucket water > pump > bucket water + nutes > drippers. Why? Because.

 

[JIMKSI64]

I see that. So, if I have a tent, let's say, 4 by 8, and it had 2 different sets of lights (4 x 4), it would work. Except where the lights would overlap in the center near the plants.
Would the same temp. and humidity be ok for both?

As I have found out the stability is more important than the numbers. As long as the tent is stable with minimal variance per hour to the humidity and temp profile the plants will adapt.
I started 2 new sprouts at 75 and 55% and they did fine.
Just had a random thought. " The " plant will adapt.
Perhaps to some extent this could have a genetic strain related component that I have not tested for as my sample is exactly 1 strain.
I think therefore I think I am wrong.
But from diaries I have seen the same strain grown multiple ways with different temps and humidity. All the best grows always had the " dialed in environment"
I guess I need to ask about 50 people what that means to them

 

[JIMKSI64]

Wow long morning of watering

The only way I could ever do anything like that would be for me to be left alone with no supervision for a while..

 

[Mikedin]

The only way I could ever do anything like that would be for me to be left alone with no supervision for a while..

My wife comes down and checks every once in awhile I’m either standing there with a sprayer or I’m outside the door smokin a joint

Just peeks her head in and leaves lol, I’m in there obviously with the music cranked in every room so it’s not exactly a conversation place, it’s my zen garden

After a long few weeks at work I just gotta take a day and relax and go over the plants real well

I gotta start recording stuff again for each pot in each tent, gunna work on that today so I can keep record of what I fed when, for the past year I’ve just been wingin it on all the pots

 

[JIMKSI64]

My wife comes down and checks every once in awhile I’m either standing there with a sprayer or I’m outside the door smokin a joint

Just peeks her head in and leaves lol, I’m in there obviously with the music cranked in every room so it’s not exactly a conversation place, it’s my zen garden

After a long few weeks at work I just gotta take a day and relax and go over the plants real well

I gotta start recording stuff again for each pot in each tent, gunna work on that today so I can keep record of what I fed when, for the past year I’ve just been wingin it on all the pots

As soon as I do something different for the pots I am marking them but I have a bunch at the same place right now. Might even be when I split them up but each one has a clip board waiting.

 

[ChairmanFester]

Hey look, meatbags down under!
I might try to watch, but post 2003-4 WWF is really bad as far as story/action. The presentation is top notch though. And out of the 5 guys pictures, there are only 2 clone sources lol.

EDIT: bottom left is ___________? I can't tell.

 

[Mikedin]

Late season garden video!

 

[Mikedin]

As soon as I do something different for the pots I am marking them but I have a bunch at the same place right now. Might even be when I split them up but each one has a clip board waiting.

I’m thinking dry erase boards! Track last watering right at each tent then record in a notebook