What a Shithead

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chickenman

chickenman

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Boulder police are looking for a man who hid in the tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival before running off.

A woman at the Hanuman Festival went into the portable toilet Friday and noticed something moving in the tank when she lifted the lid, according to police spokeswoman Kim Kobel. The woman exited and asked a man nearby to look inside the tank.

The man told police he saw something moving under a tarp, and when he left the toilet he heard it lock from the inside.

A security supervisor then waited outside for the person to emerge. When he did, the supervisor tried to get him to sit down, Kobel said, but he ran off, covered in feces.

The suspect, who was not wearing a shirt or shoes when he came out of the toilet, was described as a white man in his 20s wearing gray sweatpants, around 6-foot-5 to 6-foot-8-inches tall with a skinny build and shitty black hair.

Witnesses also said he had cuts on his back and arms. Some at the festival said he might be a transient who goes by the name "Sky."

Kobel said police are not sure how he was able to squeeze into the tank or what he was doing there. He is being sought on suspicion of criminal attempt to make unlawful sexual contact.
 
wobbly goblin

wobbly goblin

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tweakers in toilets
how refreshing

shitty hair?
that's quite the description
 
K

kripplecreek

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First off..id LOVE to know the dudes reaction when someone came out of the john and said "Hey come in here and check this out!" loool Ive tried it many times and no matter how many times ive asked no one ever wants to see my record breaker :icon_animal26:

Awesome post dude! Now we all know where Swamp thing lives.
 
darkmatter

darkmatter

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dedicated for defication, i think he was/is seriously wigged out.im not eating for a minute.
 
hiboy

hiboy

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Maybe she pooped him out..:mad0233:

saw an article of this happening in tha past.
Didnt think i'ld ever see it again. wackos
h
 
K

kripplecreek

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Maybe she pooped him out..:mad0233:
h

LOL!!! I know ive personally felt like ive given birth before! I was trying to think up something else funny to add to this and nothing came up:bow
 
jeffadies

jeffadies

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no really i was just looking for my brown pickle that i lost.
 
K

kripplecreek

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no really i was just looking for my brown pickle that i lost.

loool kinda like the swimming malamar bar thing hahaha

"I dropped a penny in there and with the economy the way it is there was no way in hell i was letting it go!"
 
M

Mr Dank

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he was down there collecting nutrients for his dispensary grow
 
D

DANKSY

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he saw all the tapered tail browns swimming around and thought "how inviting"
 
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