current season

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

i was going to help someone

a stranger

renowned to b good

achieve a set of 2 used tires

and the native

homeless man

was right

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

this stranger

changed my life

forever

and proved to me

i could fly

that i could achieve the impossible

given the opportunity

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

and today

i fear

looking at my balances

and today

i saw the scariest visage i have ever seen

in my life

a human

i care about

looking at me

with a look i thought i had never seen before

such a violation to her presence

such fear

hatred

a look i had only seen from the other side

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

of my own

blue

eyes

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

because i

two

am

human

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

and so i did

and i did

and i gave and i gave

and it

the time has come

for me to choose

i began to have a feeling

the folks i was helping, rich, poor, unknown... one day, i would do something of value
something my worth

and that person would test me and know

imma break it all

but if u teach me

trust me

invest your life in mine

there is nothing i can't learn

nor cannot do

and i have more people than i can count, or credit for this moment

I'm not even sure what it is

i just know i already did it

already broke it

thank you four

plus four more

i have a phone to charge

a cigarette to smoke

and a corona to drink

cheers

thank you for being my anonymous friends, protectors, counselors and raging alcoholics

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

yeahhhh

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

i would say life doesn't get any better

but my cigarette n beer r low

my friends

low

on the upside

i could use another

i have limes

inside

and

wtf

i already have the shitz

nope

it does get better

limes!

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

note to self

if ur gonna use ur bottle for an ash tray

DON'T FINISH THE ASH TRAY!

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

bah!
silly me

it's just a story

I'm not finished

blew the beer, inadvertently, like a champagne bottle

isn't that something

gotta start the works

dry ice is tic ticking and i forgot to prep decarb

i had planned to b in of doors

two wks-ish

peeps r still hurtin

i can feel it

n my bonez

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

before i go

rip

a black sound guy passed away
worked for the news agency i saw, yesterday

beautiful man
well liked
beautiful smile
rip sound guy

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

now, just as is our luck...
when ssdi says no... and i think this is ingenious...
one of their specific questions for qualification is: do u miss deadlines.
it's a fairly common, mental dealeo, which we both experience.
ssdi is black n white there's no middle ground so if u can nuke what wasn't nukeable, til the 80s-ish... u can cook, every single meal, every single day.
if u can sweep once, u can sweep all week.
if u can make it drunk as shit, to the courtroom, u can drive, forever, regardless of dmv, dui laws, etc.
just how it works. and we're honest so that won't help ur cause.
seems like a loaded question, or rather, confirmation that- hey... they prolly qualify, but if we keep fuckin em, they'll miss a deadline and they're not only done... but if g fights, intermittently, over a decade, blowing deadlines... not only do they keep the $400mo... no shyt... but after a decade, of not contributing... she gets NOTHING.
y would anyone choose that
y
would anyone fight tooth n nail, for $400.
and she fell through Obamacare cracks, as if it were written, just to f her, personally.

remember the bailouts

remember the dead lawns n foreclosure signs?

the xxx stopped payin... and when the letters came... she got out, over a year, later... just in time for the market to tank and the commissioner... shockingly... same breast man. and my lawyers, may as well have worked for my xxx... not a peep to droppin below the norm... and i was being triple dipped. they took money from ssdi they shouldn't have, as i was current... significant... i mean 5 figs... as she went after pension she was not entitled to.
dcss continued to garnish AND collect... and eventually, when i learned what an umbudsman was... said- well, u get nothing... doesn't matter... u cannot pay child support, in advance.
but apparently, they can take a year and a half, in advance and child support means 3rd and new, car... no... shit... like the dodge ram quad heni, lifted, bfg a/ts and sound that'd give even an impotent man, an orgasm... not to mention, their lady.
it was a nice sled... wasn't enough.

and bofa... with the last cycle and their blood money. those who foreclosed, saw some coin.
those who did not... received nothing.
it was in foreclosure... and incurred costs i paid... as a consequence of my actions and the economy...
and i received nothing... from bofa, for that bailout. how bout y'all?
-fallin through the crax

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

so i know what I've been doing. ltr doesn't... it's none of his business... a 40+millionaire... just donated 40. i know how little it meant to him.
i know what i/we've been doing... what it costs us and why and i know I've been doing the right thing.
i say the people who need help the most... don't ask.
i do.
and i don't need help. if anything, I've gone into my sale and moving budget and my family, has my back, if necessary.
but i also know people in my community, who appreciate what we've created and i know i will never be homeless.
i will never be hungry.
ginger's answer: it's your money.

what an auspicious day... to b alive... when money means nothing and reputation means everything.

i am neither bragging, nor begging.

this is my story.

i have always been honest with y'all.

this has been my project.

my experiment...

and after 60k, invested in people...ish...

i want every reader to know

to the penny

how much i believe in this philosophy

of helping a stranger

paying the gifts i have been given

forward

i walk the talk

i put my money where my mouth is.

i believe in integrity.

i believe in compassion.

i believe in paying what we owe.

and i hurt my family

my people

my name.

and i am human...

and it is you four plus four more

who

inspire

me...

yup...

a day of days.

i am sorry i omitted til the end

like i said

makes more cents

read backwards

your turn

tell me a story

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

rip kenny Rogers

Moshmen · Mar 21, 2020

SPARECHANGE said:
i had grown pot, intermittently, over the years, but this HAD to work; as nothing else was and i could see the opioid writing on the walls.
i read what was available... many times over. aeroponics was the zealot soil du jour and i needed to b fast... efficient... and quality, only, but skip as many corners, as possible and tech, was paying for ignorance as it so often, does... helping me skip the time it takes to finesse brix, mosh's flav o the day and anything else that truly takes time... cat.

Lots of cheeseberry for a while ! Lookin forward to the widow in a few weeks

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

Moshmen said:
Lots of cheeseberry for a while ! Lookin forward to the widow in a few weeks

u scare me. braver man than i. u were warned ;P.

apparently, we just got someone else, a great lady, off ummm... morphine through our collaborative works.

isn't that something

no withdrawals. no shytz.

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

she didn't even taper.
only met her once
did not need to sea her, again...
and that's how she's doin

wow

another notch, for mr Simpson...
mostly, single strain oil, if i recall, correctly.

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

there r those of u who shared your stories with me, privately.
each and every letter, inspired me. this has been a collaborative effort. i know what and whom i owe. all of you know it's been your hearts, your tears, your smiles, your encouragement... it's all of you us who accomplished this, together. if one person, takes something from this... u know we all wrote it. i know how u bitches are... we don't need the credit. it's important to me people know where we came from. we're all human... flawed... perfect, on some days, if y'all ask me and your stories do not belong, silent... hidden... p.m.'d... they belong, here.
i do my best to share no story, without permission. if it is to be shared... if they... are to be shared... it will be up to you all, to post those stories, within... i would encourage you all to do so. it was you all, whom inspired me...
with
your stories.
i pray you all do so, but it cannot be by my hand.
-always with love
sparechange

SPARECHANGE · Mar 21, 2020

out of the maybe 6hrs of caps from the other day.
still have more to capsule.
the decarb will go on, all night. ice is chillin. have yet to count the strains. still have vats to c what's what. prolly won't get to filtration til morning so imma just chill the iso and as more n more decarbs, chill those, separately n wait til I've had some sleep, to start the real work. if i can just get it all filtered, while this ice exists- I'll burn this mofo down, with my footprints, gettin ever last flower, but a bit of cbd... at least, passed the cold process and even the fridge would do, in solution, but preferably, the fzr n meltdown, as I'm able. only needs to b supercold, when filtering.

i wasn't in a position to say- bitch... i warned ya you'd b too ignorant, to figure 4 x 5lb blocks so when i eyeballed the 12-13lbs, she lazily, brought (job security... this was the noob, hostile clerk)... i smiled and thanked the lackadaisical, overpaid, Walmart greeter.
perhaps, she was having a rough day, or perhaps... she felt she was looking at the most dangerous man, in the country...
c'est la vie

g doesn't sound so bueno

1diesel1 · Mar 21, 2020

SPARECHANGE said:
there r those of u who shared your stories with me, privately.
each and every letter, inspired me. this has been a collaborative effort. i know what and whom i owe. all of you know it's been your hearts, your tears, your smiles, your encouragement... it's all of you us who accomplished this, together. if one person, takes something from this... u know we all wrote it. i know how u bitches are... we don't need the credit. it's important to me people know where we came from. we're all human... flawed... perfect, on some days, if y'all ask me and your stories do not belong, silent... hidden... p.m.'d... they belong, here.
i do my best to share no story, without permission. if it is to be shared... if they... are to be shared... it will be up to you all, to post those stories, within... i would encourage you all to do so. it was you all, whom inspired me...
with
your stories.
i pray you all do so, but it cannot be by my hand.
-always with love
sparechange

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