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Lets Laugh Friday

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Lets Laugh Friday

jumpincactus 25 Replies 1,504 Views
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jumpincactus

jumpincactus

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Her Farmers, its friday, I'm comfortably faded, could use a could laugh tonight...........

Hit me with your best stoner jokes. Images or cartoons cool too. Rock on.......

I'll start with this,

There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
To he first he said “what was your biggest sin on earth?” and the man replied “Oh man I just love alcohol and being drunk man” so the devil showed the man to a room full of alcohol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said “see you in 100 years” and locked the door.

To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied “oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man”. So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of gorgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said “see you in 100 years” and locked the door.

The third man’s answer to the question was “oh man I just LOVE weed! I’m high all the time man and I can’t live without it!”. The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you’ve ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying “see you in 100 years”.

100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man’s room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man’s door and the man came running out of the room and cried “IM GAY! IM GAY!”. Finally the devil came to the third man’s room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; “hey man, got a light?”
 
And then this,

How can you pick out the tweeker in the grocery store????

He is the one that has the grocery cart all upside down trying to make one of the wheels stop sqeeking.

Or why does the male tweeker always want doggie style? So he can keep an eye on the window while doing his ole lady!!!!
 
Fuck I missed the punch at bottom of post.!!!!
 
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse.
Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.
"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
 
There's a bear a pony and an eagle..

The bear says to the pony can you yell up to the eagle for me..

The pony says
 
New joke.. Not that the last one was any good


How do you jump higher than a mountain?





















Mountains can't jump
 
Beaker calls ms. Piggies house and Kermit answers the phone. Beaker asks if he can speak with miss piggy, after a short pause kermit responded with.....





She can talk right now, she has a frog in her throat.:eek:
 
Image
 
Why does the police man smell so bad?

Because he was on duty......
 
Why does snoop dog always carry an umbrella?


fo drizzle!
 
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