Who gets your White Crayon award? - Because certain people are like digging for something to write with, and all you can find is a white crayon... USELESS!

Yesterday's winner: the Paul Blart of garden guards.
Me: Hey, can you watch the garden? Need to leave by 5 pm, and I'll be gone for 2-3 hours.
PB: "Sure, no problem." ...and strolls in at 5:30.
Me: "Cool. Help yourself, food & drink in the fridge, jar & papers on the table. You're here, & I need to go. I'm late."
PB: "No, it's cool, man. I'll be in and out."
Me: "huh?"
PB: "I gotta head back over to my mom's..."
...1&1\2 hours later, just before the food arrives... "Me & the guys want to go to the hookah bar. How long are you gonna be?"
Me: "Well, fu... All right, have fun."
...at home, 8pm. Garden is unlocked, dog is in the house & there's a party going on next door.

When he shows up to get paid, I'm going to give him a white crayon.