All Mental Illness Patients!!!!!!!!!!!

ShroomKing · Apr 18, 2015

For a minute I thought it was mandatory that us mental patients check in.o_O

Great testamonials.

I too suffer from some mental health issues, though I'm undiagnosed.

Im pretty sure I suffer from ptsd. And some type of schizo anti social disorder.
I can not function properly without self medicating. If I don't medicate I end up in trouble with the law, in fights with anyone, cheating on my wife and kicking my dog. :(
I'm ashamed to admit it. Honestly.
but
Since I began growing and supplying my own meds my life has improved incredibly.
I stopped long ago caring what others feel about my heavy marijuana use.
I'm a better man because of it.
This herb heals both the mind and body.
I too find that balanced hybrids work best. Too much sativa and I feel like the feds are listening to everything. Lol
Too much indica and my house gets a bit messy.
I average about 60-70 bong tokes a day.
This keeps me functional and out of jail.
If I make to the age of 60 without getting locked up again I will have only spent 25% of my life behind bars. As I sit right now that number is at 34%.
Weed is my freedom ticket.

WORF · Apr 18, 2015

@budfarmer thank friend loompa has some new cbd f1's That a friend will be letting me try in the not do distant future I plan to do a smoke report asap! I've found indica Dom's to work the best for me right now I'm on mainly kush / kush hybrid's

WORF

OrganicGanja · Apr 18, 2015

Killer thread many real deep ppl and posts in here I too am on disability and suffer from mental illness but have been blessed with the love of this plant for some time so feeling pretty stable right now. But feel each and every one of yalls post keep it real farmers and remember we are all the NORML ones every one else is fucked lol.

WORF · Apr 18, 2015

@GreenThumbBill I'm starting to think thc is what we think cbd is and vice versa .... My friend let me try a bud that was picked really early I mean white pistil early clear tricombes Early and it gave me a great pick me up and added alertness really nice for my ailment just a little to racy not really bad but kinda noticeable I remember a doctor I forgot his name saying that THC is at its peak with clear trics not milky or dark colored if this is true along with what you have said this would make sense hmmmmmmmm interesting

GreenThumbBill · Apr 18, 2015

ShroomKing said:
For a minute I thought it was mandatory that us mental patients check in.o_O

Great testamonials.

I too suffer from some mental health issues, though I'm undiagnosed.

Im pretty sure I suffer from ptsd. And some type of schizo anti social disorder.
I can not function properly without self medicating. If I don't medicate I end up in trouble with the law, in fights with anyone, cheating on my wife and kicking my dog. :(
I'm ashamed to admit it. Honestly.
but
Since I began growing and supplying my own meds my life has improved incredibly.
I stopped long ago caring what others feel about my heavy marijuana use.
I'm a better man because of it.
This herb heals both the mind and body.
I too find that balanced hybrids work best. Too much sativa and I feel like the feds are listening to everything. Lol
Too much indica and my house gets a bit messy.
I average about 60-70 bong tokes a day.
This keeps me functional and out of jail.
If I make to the age of 60 without getting locked up again I will have only spent 25% of my life behind bars. As I sit right now that number is at 34%.
Weed is my freedom ticket.

Hey shroom, thanks for joining us.

Just out of curiosity, is it nearly impossible for you to hold down a job or maintain a romantic relationship for longer than 2-3 years at most? Did you have an abusive father and a blanketing mother?

Here is a video that does an excellent job summarizing BPD in 5 minutes.
If you relate with this video 110% and answered yes to all my questions, there is a good chance what your describing could possibly be BPD. I'm not trying to diagnos you, I just mention this b/c I highly relate to the symptoms you describe in your post and BPD stems from PTSD and is the most common antisocial personality disorder among aggressive males. It is suspected that a large percentage of the male prison population is undiagnosed BPD.

The only reason I think an accurate diagnosis is helpful, despite it being a label, is b/c it's easier to treat symptoms if you know exactly what you're working with.

And honestly, it was a huge load off my back when I finally accepted my diagnosis. It's really a relief sometimes to know that my behavior is due to an actual chemical imbalance in my brain and I'm not just consciously choosing to be a douche because I'm a psychotic fuck. I'm not a psychotic fuck, I'm a hell of a nice guy who is deeply troubled with a biological disorder.

Stay medicated everybody!

ShroomKing · Apr 18, 2015

GreenThumbBill said:
Hey shroom, thanks for joining us.

Just out of curiosity, is it nearly impossible for you to hold down a job or maintain a romantic relationship for longer than 2-3 years at most? Did you have an abusive father and a blanketing mother?

Here is a video that does an excellent job summarizing BPD in 5 minutes.
If you relate with this video 110% and answered yes to all my questions, there is a good chance what your describing could possibly be BPD. I'm not trying to diagnos you, I just mention this b/c I highly relate to the symptoms you describe in your post and BPD stems from PTSD and is the most common antisocial personality disorder among aggressive males. It is suspected that a large percentage of the male prison population is undiagnosed BPD.

The only reason I think an accurate diagnosis is helpful, despite it being a label, is b/c it's easier to treat symptoms if you know exactly what your working with.

And honestly, it was a huge load off my back when I finally accepted my diagnosis. It's really a relief sometimes to know that my behavior is due to an actual chemical imbalance in my brain and I'm not just consciously choosing to be a douche because I'm a psychotic fuck. I'm not a psychotic fuck, I'm a hell of a nice guy who is deeply troubled with a biological disorder.

Stay medicated!

My childhood was strict, religious bull crap and my dad is a bad person.
I employable but I work for myself. And I have a good relationship with my wife. Pretty sure I'm not BPD because I only became aggressive and anti social after spending some time in prison. I'm slightly institutionalized unfortunately and slowing shedding the negativity associated with prison life. Thanks for the video though. That's good stuff.
Peace

budfarmer · Apr 18, 2015

Here is an article on CBD and its usefulness in treating schizophrenia and psychosis turns out it works better than standard drugs. http://www.examiner.com/article/can-the-cannabis-component-cannabidiol-cbd-cure-schizophrenia

GreenThumbBill · Apr 19, 2015

ShroomKing said:
My childhood was strict, religious bull crap and my dad is a bad person.
I employable but I work for myself. And I have a good relationship with my wife. Pretty sure I'm not BPD because I only became aggressive and anti social after spending some time in prison. I'm slightly institutionalized unfortunately and slowing shedding the negativity associated with prison life. Thanks for the video though. That's good stuff.
Peace

Bummer man, they say a stretch of 3 or more years is when people begin to experience a biological change mentally that is difficult to come back from.

diamond2.0 · Apr 19, 2015

WORF said:
@GreenThumbBill I'm starting to think thc is what we think cbd is and vice versa .... My friend let me try a bud that was picked really early I mean white pistil early clear tricombes Early and it gave me a great pick me up and added alertness really nice for my ailment just a little to racy not really bad but kinda noticeable I remember a doctor I forgot his name saying that THC is at its peak with clear trics not milky or dark colored if this is true along with what you have said this would make sense hmmmmmmmm interesting

I used to pull mine with just a few amber or before the terps burst filling the air. Id try to time it usaully on the day when you get that huge added smell or hours before. Takes practice there . lol. If ya got good dope ya got alot of leeway though .lol. Best to start with soemthing very up when done very long first . Then it only gets better. Can still have really good legs too .Train didnt make a cola so it would just sit there till ya pulled it. No heavy second growth . ..I gave a friend a .10 of rso from my vegging plant leafs and his girlfriend thought he was wired. lol. Lightwieght though. Like alot of people i know.

diamond2.0 · Apr 19, 2015

I could care less about cbd's actually lol. im a "high" thc person ! CBD strains never touch perifial nerve pain for me and weed never stopped me from getting pissed off either .. If you get to low blood pressure can cause shooting nerve pains from lack of oxygen in a low flow person . lol. What i used to do also to combat the heavy breathing and taking large breaths all the time id put and a powerfull indica in the mix at a rate of 3 zips sat 1\4 ounce powerfull indica dom per bottle of oil used .Id try to stya right under the heavy breath level. somi can sit in peace. lol

WORF · Apr 19, 2015

@ShroomKing welcome to the thread ... Your wife must be a great women you are very blessed to have her its nice to have that ! I too have been in those shackles and I'm all to familiar with transition back into this so called society it can be like landing on a new planet dealing with the politics of the world from the politics of jail (modern day Slavery) is almost like night and day and can be fucked up ......your not alone brother

WORF

Seamaiden · Apr 19, 2015

GreenThumbBill said:
I attempted two different DBT therapy programs but quit both times. I found group therapy extremely unnatural and contrived. Plus, I was the only person in both groups with an official BPD diagnosis. People are apparantly going to DBT therapy for all kinds of issues nowadays, not just BPD as DBT was originally intended to treat. So, I couldn't really relate to the other people in the group. Also most of the people in DBT therapy nowadays have been court ordered (it's becoming a racket) and don't take it seriously. People would rarely come to group with their assignments completed and there was very little group participation.
I will probably try again someday though, we'll see.

Wow, I am really sorry to read that about the class you were exposed to. That is the problem this family member who's on the spectrum found with another class (for depression). But this new DBT class via Kaiser seems to be *very* good. If you have health care coverage perhaps they can help. I don't really like Kaiser (I'll save the rant), but in this instance they have FINALLY come through (it took MONTHS, btw).

All of this must have been difficult to type out and admit. I'm really sorry that the DBT class you found didn't work out well for you after reading this post. It's a hell of a thing to be aware of and not have the tools to control it.

GreenThumbBill said:
It's really a relief sometimes to know that my behavior is due to an actual chemical imbalance in my brain and I'm not just consciously choosing to be a douche because I'm a psychotic fuck.

Just a small point. BPD is one of the disorders (not disease) on a spectrum that includes HPD (Hystrionic Personality Disorder) and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The main reason why these disorders have been considered untreatable is because they are personality disorders and not chemical imbalances, like bipolar or schizophrenia, for example, where both patient and treating psychiatric professional may enjoy some success with, say, SSRIs. While some psychiatric professionals may prescribe certain medications, it's therapy and counseling that are really needed, because the person's brain isn't what's fucked up, it's their ability to process emotions. The other reason why they're considered generally untreatable is that people suffering the disorders very commonly believe absolutely nothing is wrong with them. I have two other family members who I believe fall on the spectrum, and one may have been Dx'd but is way too smart to let the rest of us know, and the other thinks she's perfectly fine and in fact, it's the rest of the world that's fucked up (she tends to be violent as well).

That is why it is such a HUGE thing that you have accepted it.

theseekeroft · Apr 19, 2015

WORF said:
im going to be 100% honest to hell with any one who can not except you for all of you i know

This does not sound corny at all WORF. I think this is the best attitude for some of us to grab onto. Even if you do not like music or his music check out the words to Phil Collins song ... "I Don't Care Anymore" that I mentioned above. I have listened to it 5 to 10 times since I wrote that.

Although GreenThumbBill and I have different medical "diagnoses" ... it sounds like our heads are in similar places right now. I'm really lucky for 1 difference ... I was never physically violent ... before or after my brain injury. However, after the brain injury I can get extremely pissed off ... say and act in ways I do not like. To the point that it scares me. To the point where I have alienated many ... especially those who cannot accept me for who I am ... I wonder wtf it would take for me to get physically violent. So I'm like GreenThumbBill ... avoid contact with people way more than I should.

Even family. I know and understand the importance of family. On the other hand ... for me ... it is much worse to have a family member who will not accept me for who I am than it is when a non family member treats me that way. So I think there are situations / circumstances where family should be avoided.

I come from a family with a good family name, pillars of the community, think their Christians, a deacon in the Baptist Church, even a fucking mental health counselor ... all that American Pie bull shit. So it is real hard for me to convince anyone that it is best if I never have contact with most of them at the present time. But I never know when they are going to do or say something that will send me flying out of the present moment and make it really hard for me to stay in the present moment vs dwelling on wtf bullshit.

It is much easier for me to blow off a wtf situation presented by a non-family member. If family is supportive and willing to learn about your circumstances ... they are great. If not ... they can be the worst to be around.

I had another brain injury about a year ago and have had a very challenging year. Family support could have really made my life much better. However, I do not want to have contact with most of my family at the present time. It does me more harm than good.

theseekeroft · Apr 19, 2015

WORF said:
@GreenThumbBill I'm starting to think thc is what we think cbd is and vice versa .... My friend let me try a bud that was picked really early I mean white pistil early clear tricombes Early and it gave me a great pick me up and added alertness really nice for my ailment just a little to racy not really bad but kinda noticeable I remember a doctor I forgot his name saying that THC is at its peak with clear trics not milky or dark colored if this is true along with what you have said this would make sense hmmmmmmmm interesting

A very very good reason to harvest a plant at more than 1 stage.

theseekeroft · Apr 19, 2015

Seamaiden said:
it's therapy and counseling that are really needed,

I totally agree.

However, the success of therapy and counseling techniques is horrible. A kind, loving, caring, understanding person ... (the more "severe" the condition ... the more they know about it ... the better) ... to talk to ... has been proven to be more affective than therapy / counseling.

imho ... almost all techniques are worthless (except for perhaps the "segment" of society that a specific technique is designed for) ... the wrong one can be very harmful and even fatal ...

Perhaps more techniques would be successful if:
The individual received ... enough time in therapy for their individual needs ... an hour a week or month does not cut it unless it is "maintenance" so to speak ...

fyi ... been on both sides of the fence ... received many years of therapy / counseling ... I have over 150 post secondary credits ... most of which are in the humanities ... most having something to do with human behavior ... prior to challenges because of brain injury had a Marriage and Family Counseling license ... a licensed counselor ... .

theseekeroft · Apr 19, 2015

Seamaiden said:
Just a small point. BPD is one of the disorders (not disease) on a spectrum that includes HPD (Hystrionic Personality Disorder) and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The main reason why these disorders have been considered untreatable is because they are personality disorders and not chemical imbalances,

This may be accepted as the norm at this time. But our understanding of the brain and chemical imbalances is still a seed ... hasnt even sprouted yet ... although Israel is way ahead of everyone else as some have pointed out ...

So GreenThumbBill ... I think you have personal insight ... if you tell me you think it is a chemical imbalance ... no matter what ... I'm going to accept what you say ... I may not agree ... but we simply do not know enough about the brain ... not to listen to the people who are living with "it".

GreenThumbBill · Apr 19, 2015

Seamaiden said:
Wow, I am really sorry to read that about the class you were exposed to. That is the problem this family member who's on the spectrum found with another class (for depression). But this new DBT class via Kaiser seems to be *very* good. If you have health care coverage perhaps they can help. I don't really like Kaiser (I'll save the rant), but in this instance they have FINALLY come through (it took MONTHS, btw).

All of this must have been difficult to type out and admit. I'm really sorry that the DBT class you found didn't work out well for you after reading this post. It's a hell of a thing to be aware of and not have the tools to control it.

Just a small point. BPD is one of the disorders (not disease) on a spectrum that includes HPD (Hystrionic Personality Disorder) and NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). The main reason why these disorders have been considered untreatable is because they are personality disorders and not chemical imbalances, like bipolar or schizophrenia, for example, where both patient and treating psychiatric professional may enjoy some success with, say, SSRIs. While some psychiatric professionals may prescribe certain medications, it's therapy and counseling that are really needed, because the person's brain isn't what's fucked up, it's their ability to process emotions. The other reason why they're considered generally untreatable is that people suffering the disorders very commonly believe absolutely nothing is wrong with them. I have two other family members who I believe fall on the spectrum, and one may have been Dx'd but is way too smart to let the rest of us know, and the other thinks she's perfectly fine and in fact, it's the rest of the world that's fucked up (she tends to be violent as well).

That is why it is such a HUGE thing that you have accepted it.

I guess chemical imbalance is the wrong term, "medical condition" would be more accurate. But, there is definitely a biological component. The only difference between a disorder and a disease is what's known by the physicians who treat them.

The reason a BPD person's ability to process emotions is fucked up is ultimately because the brain is fucked up, but there is also a very key environmental/developmental component (some sort of long term traumatic stress during childhood). BPD's think from their brainstem as soon as an emotional trigger is received. I've heard it referred to as reptilian brain thinking. We tap into the emotional/aggressive area of the brain during fight or flight and we are in a near constant state of fight or flight. Also, our emotional processors don't have dual cores. We can't modulate our emotions, all things are either 100% good or evil, immediately.

theseekeroft said:
This does not sound corny at all WORF. I think this is the best attitude for some of us to grab onto. Even if you do not like music or his music check out the words to Phil Collins song ... "I Don't Care Anymore" that I mentioned above. I have listened to it 5 to 10 times since I wrote that.

Although GreenThumbBill and I have different medical "diagnoses" ... it sounds like our heads are in similar places right now. I'm really lucky for 1 difference ... I was never physically violent ... before or after my brain injury. However, after the brain injury I can get extremely pissed off ... say and act in ways I do not like. To the point that it scares me. To the point where I have alienated many ... especially those who cannot accept me for who I am ... I wonder wtf it would take for me to get physically violent. So I'm like GreenThumbBill ... avoid contact with people way more than I should.

Even family. I know and understand the importance of family. On the other hand ... for me ... it is much worse to have a family member who will not accept me for who I am than it is when a non family member treats me that way. So I think there are situations / circumstances where family should be avoided.

I come from a family with a good family name, pillars of the community, think their Christians, a deacon in the Baptist Church, even a fucking mental health counselor ... all that American Pie bull shit. So it is real hard for me to convince anyone that it is best if I never have contact with most of them at the present time. But I never know when they are going to do or say something that will send me flying out of the present moment and make it really hard for me to stay in the present moment vs dwelling on wtf bullshit.

It is much easier for me to blow off a wtf situation presented by a non-family member. If family is supportive and willing to learn about your circumstances ... they are great. If not ... they can be the worst to be around.

I had another brain injury about a year ago and have had a very challenging year. Family support could have really made my life much better. However, I do not want to have contact with most of my family at the present time. It does me more harm than good.

I like Phil Collins, but In all honesty I definitely care. I wish I could not care, but I have pretty thin skin and always have.

I relate with you on the family stuff too. I was raised Southern Baptist from Houston Tx. I'm an only child and my Mom and favorite Aunt are the only people in my family I have talked to in about a decade.

Are you in WA?

GreenThumbBill · Apr 19, 2015

theseekeroft said:
I totally agree.

However, the success of therapy and counseling techniques is horrible. A kind, loving, caring, understanding person ... (the more "severe" the condition ... the more they know about it ... the better) ... to talk to ... has been proven to be more affective than therapy / counseling.

imho ... almost all techniques are worthless (except for perhaps the "segment" of society that a specific technique is designed for) ... the wrong one can be very harmful and even fatal ...

Perhaps more techniques would be successful if:
The individual received ... enough time in therapy for their individual needs ... an hour a week or month does not cut it unless it is "maintenance" so to speak ...

fyi ... been on both sides of the fence ... received many years of therapy / counseling ... I have over 150 post secondary credits ... most of which are in the humanities ... most having something to do with human behavior ... prior to challenges because of brain injury had a Marriage and Family Counseling license ... a licensed counselor ... .

WORD! It is so difficult to find a skilled therapist. Seems like 9/10 of them do it for the income only. Most are straight up negligent.

My last therapist couldn't even remember my name after 6 months of weekly appointments. He would often catch me daydreaming during our appointments and ask me "where I was," I always wanted to say, someplace far more interesting!

I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from the University of Washington. Initially I wanted to be a Research Psychologist. Then I learned about the ethical atrocities committed against both animals and people...no thanks! So I switched my course of study to Therapy. Then I learned that the standard methodology for treating patients among entry level therapists has the accuracy of throwing darts at a dartboard...no thanks! I have stories from my senior internships that would blow you away.

In order to get skilled treatment in the mental health field you have to essentially find a needle in a haystack. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I believe about 90% of the people working in the field are inept, at best.

And unfortunately, you definitely need insurance and/or money in most cases. It cost me $4k out of pocket to do the week long battery of testing that ultimately concluded with me receiving a correct diagnosis.

theseekeroft · Apr 19, 2015

GreenThumbBill said:
I like Phil Collins, but In all honesty I definitely care. I wish I could not care, but I have pretty thin skin and always have.

Sound just like me.

The song and how I feel are more specifically:

I think it is important to care about what I did and own my actions. This is critical to having a healthy mind.

What I dont care anymore about ... is what "they" thought or said or whatever to or about me. not going to let the games they play bother me ...

Growin Grass · Apr 19, 2015

GreenThumbBill said:
WORD! It is so difficult to find a skilled therapist. Seems like 9/10 of them do it for the income only. Most are straight up negligent.

My last therapist couldn't even remember my name after 6 months of weekly appointments. He would often catch me daydreaming during our appointments and ask me "where I was," I always wanted to say, someplace far more interesting!

I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from the University of Washington. Initially I wanted to be a Research Psychologist. Then I learned about the ethical atrocities committed against both animals and people...no thanks! So I switched my course of study to Therapy. Then I learned that the standard methodology for treating patients among entry level therapists has the accuracy of throwing darts at a dartboard...no thanks! I have stories from my senior internships that would blow you away.

In order to get skilled treatment in the mental health field you have to essentially find a needle in a haystack. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I believe about 90% of the people working in the field are inept, at best.

And unfortunately, you definitely need insurance and/or money in most cases. It cost me $4k out of pocket to do the week long battery of testing that ultimately concluded with me receiving a correct diagnosis.

So sad and true
Sometimes I'm not sure who's more screwed up, mental health patients or the mental health system.
I've fallen through cracks on court ordered follow ups, lost a good therapist because I went from having medicare to premera blue cross, paid more for a missed appointment than I make in half a day, the list goes on and on.
My insurance probably loves me, they were paying probably around $700 a month on my meds until I quit taking em a few weeks ago. Scary fucking ride that was but I'm feeling much, MUCH better now.
Honestly growing the green meds helps me just as much as smoking them, wish I would have tried growing before I ever got on the Rx's.

All Mental Illness Patients!!!!!!!!!!!

All Mental Illness Patients!!!!!!!!!!!

ShroomKing

Best of luck. Peace

WORF

OrganicGanja

WORF

GreenThumbBill

ShroomKing

Best of luck. Peace

budfarmer

GreenThumbBill

diamond2.0

diamond2.0

WORF

Seamaiden

Living dead girl

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

GreenThumbBill

GreenThumbBill

theseekeroft

Growin Grass

All Mental Illness Patients!!!!!!!!!!!

All Mental Illness Patients!!!!!!!!!!!

ShroomKing

Best of luck. Peace

WORF

OrganicGanja

WORF

GreenThumbBill

ShroomKing

Best of luck. Peace

budfarmer

GreenThumbBill

diamond2.0

diamond2.0

WORF

Seamaiden

Living dead girl

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

theseekeroft

GreenThumbBill

GreenThumbBill

theseekeroft

Growin Grass

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