Such a great thread that I had to go back and read it over again. Gives me a bit of inspiration as things have been on the dull end lately. It's been hard getting motivated...to the point I didn't even want to work on the garden, which is time sensitive at the moment.

I'm thinking I need a little change of scenery or something. I think a trip to the beach to get some real sun would do the trick. Of course, that would probably depress me cause i'm not able to surf now lol. But what I got out of reading this post again is getting back to the basics. Breathe, don't over-think, keep things simple but stay busy...oh, and open up that jar of og kush i've had curing for 4 months :) Life is much better now...one day at a time my friends.

Hang tough gritty and fellow farmers. It's nice we have each other to feed off of. Definitely helps me get through the days :) I even feel motivated now to get my mpb room done :) Thanks for sharing, brutha!

Hey guys, I don’t know if any of you have heard of Eckhart Tolle. He has two books that could change your life

"The power of now" & " A New Earth"

My girl introduced his books to me, and honestly, changed my life and how my mind works. Every sentence rings with truth. He talked about the conditioned thought patterns that typically focus on negativity or future living. Living in the future ultimately leaves you disappointed with the now. He speaks about living in this moment, accepting what is and not mental movie playing how you think your life should be or will be one day. Most people live their life’s saying " when this happens then I will be happy" when I get this car, or a new job, or a house, meet a girl, have a child, become wealthy, then I will be happy, but when they get those things they are still unhappy, the mind has moved on to a new desire. You can only be happy with Now. Really amazing stuff

I have the CD's and listen to them when I drive, I recommend getting the CD's

Seriously check it out.

On the flip side, if you really think you have bi-polar then you should see a doctor. A lot of people are depressed, doesn’t not mean they are bi-polar, although they may feel like it. the brain is an organ, the most complex organ in the human body, and just like anyother organ in the body is could not be functioning properly. If you had asthma, you would use an inhaler; if you were diabetic you would take insulin. If you are bi-polar you should take bi-polar meds, there should be no shame involved.

This is true. Medicine does help when you find the right one.

I really like the way I am on Lexipro, I feel like I am finally "myself", I can get enjoyment out of life, and I feel motivated. I can think through my anger or frustration, and most of the time I just let things "roll of my back" and don't even get bothered. It's a trip, I love it.

It also has the least side effects compared to thers I'v taken. For instance, some of the SSRI's and other drugs can effect your sex drive (like seriously).

Lexipro and Citalopram didn't do anything to me as far as that =)
Definately a big deal to some people.

So, the thing is that our minds (people with borderline p.d., clinical depression and bipolar) for some reason do not produce enough serotonin (or other brain chemicals) when we get into an emotional or frustrating situation. Normally our minds flood our brain with these chemicals so that we can think clearly and make rational thoughts even though we feel like we are agitated or depressed.

Be it hereditary, a traumatic emotional life, or a life of hard drug use (MDMA, Cocaine, Meth, Ketamine, Heroin), our brains aren't able to produce enough serotonin during those "fight or flight" moments. So what the pills do is to even out those levels in our brain. Thats all.

In my case it was a traumatic life with hard drug use at an early age. Luckily I made it out of all that and I am in a good place today. Feeling healthy, happy and productive.

i FIND THAT wHITEBERRY REALLY works to level me out. Its good for a day time smoke if you toke lightly and if you need a more relazing daze..just smoke a little more. I also enjoy Afghan Kush in the afternoon harvested at abotu 56 days. It doesn't knock me out but puts up the cloud that clears my mind..if you know what I mean. I tried most every perscription on the marked for mood disorders and the one thats works best for me is mmj..I'm still searcing for the right strands, but the comfort and relief that I get from most any strand is better than anything the pharmacutical companys tried to push down my throat. I just want every state to leagize it so the truth about mmj can get out and everyone can use the wonder gift from God.

Overwhelmed by the stress of
Walking this carpet of eggshells
Not-so-plush flooring
In the bedroom of this relationship

These kid gloves I am always wearing
Obstruct the way we should be touching each other

The ice is thin over the cold depths of your anger
Yet being desperate to smooth things out,
I'm recklessly driving my zamboni
across your frozen lake

Frequently your mouth runneth over
I'm tired of trying to decipher between
what you really mean-
And you blowing off steam

Back and forth you travel
Along the borderline
Changing direction suddenly, violently,
With no fair warning

Your raging contains
the weight of a train
Alas! I'm harassed
Strapped to the tracks
Trapped in the path

of the Bi-Polar Express.

(written for an ex; from one bi-pole to the other)
We used to call ourselves Bi-pollocks, and Tri-polar, to try and accept and make progress. I hope you all are doing well. Peace.

not bi polar but have family members who are. this poem was great alti!

altitudefarmer said:

Overwhelmed by the stress of
Walking this carpet of eggshells
Not-so-plush flooring
In the bedroom of this relationship

These kid gloves I am always wearing
Obstruct the way we should be touching each other

The ice is thin over the cold depths of your anger
Yet being desperate to smooth things out,
I'm recklessly driving my zamboni
across your frozen lake

Frequently your mouth runneth over
I'm tired of trying to decipher between
what you really mean-
And you blowing off steam

Back and forth you travel
Along the borderline
Changing direction suddenly, violently,
With no fair warning

Your raging contains
the weight of a train
Alas! I'm harassed
Strapped to the tracks
Trapped in the path

of the Bi-Polar Express.

(written for an ex; from one bi-pole to the other)
We used to call ourselves Bi-pollocks, and Tri-polar, to try and accept and make progress. I hope you all are doing well. Peace.

Click to expand...

So you know Misty eh

So figured I'd revisit this thread after going through a bunch of different strains this year! I did end up goin to the psych doctors, did get prescribed some shit, then was told by another psych that i was manic and those dumbass doc prescribed something that can trigger massive manic response...wtf? kinda reaffirms my first post of avoiding the psych doctors. When ones doc gives it to you, and the next doc gives you his contact number and says call if a manic episode leaves me ready to hurt myself- i pretty much quit those meds. LOL. So back to smoking and more hash oil for me..lol.

So all in all- kush. My bipolar activity has pretty much leveled to being way more manic than the occassional depressive (usually can be avoided as i learn stressors, situations, etc and continue to), so the massive up smokes dont do much for me. Racy highs, aren't racy at all they just leave me clear and not high. But-

Some kushes take the cake, some chems are strong enough, but mostly lethargic indica plants and heavy kush leaners leave me mellowed, happy and not too nuts. I've come across a few bubba plants, my white mk, and some og kush that really put me in a nice place consistently, dont really build tolerance to, and smoke amazing. I will be running the white real soon, and I have a feeling that smoke will really hit the spot for manic folks like me!

Like I said though, learning some stressors, methods to cool down, and honestly some psychedelics have really helped me a come a long way, or at least help me deal with the daily shit WAY better.

Hopefully thats helped, soon i will make a straight up list of strains that help me greatly...shouldnt take too much longer to have a nice list of those!

This thread just explained so much for me. Very helpful, thanks. :)

I have been on meds, on and off for the better part of 26 years now.I have tried everything from melarill to thorazine,back in the earlier years they experimented alot more then they do now with what meds will work best for you.I personally never noticed any difference while on the meds but family and friends always did.My last go was with lexapro which had some positive reviews from fam and friends.Over my time i have realized that just being active will help for a more positive mind and soul, and keep things managable dont set huge goals.Like dont try to build a house lol cause the addrenaline will wear off and you will be like ohhhh noo i have to finish this whole house.Which can start to sink you into depression.Also alot of little subtle things can make a difference .Like if your house is dark vs really exposed to light, what you eat,how much sleep u get.Not sure if this helps or not but good luck,cause it is truly the gift that keeps giving. frogeye

for what its worth

I too have had issues...hard stuff when younger, the ssri merry go round when i went to shrink...i have the genetics that predispose me to any number of conditions, my mom was manic depressive...

My dad, who has a phd in organic chem, sat me down one day and told me how the ssri's (and other psychotropic meds) will prevent people who can overcome these chemical imbalances from doing so..

I took his advice, I read up on cognitive therapy, i dont hang around with shitbags anymore, or even people with whom i share no common interests. I stay active, even if inside. Stay away from activities that are not stimulating (brainwise). A good example of this is braindead TV shows. Your brain will start producing serotonin again. Well it did for me. I realize that some peeps have to be on meds...Past the point of no return maybe in respect to brain chemicals. Dealing with and identifying past issues that promote behavior or moods that are not healthy is the purpose of educating oneself on cognitive therapy.

One other thing is that i do is religiously take Fish Oil, the more refined the better. Not enough time but a large portion of the population in the usa do not get enough in their diet and this is a necessary supplement for your brain. I remember when everyone pooh-poohed fish oil. Especially the author of "the zone diet" who advocated the use for cholesterol control, he was ridiculed...I just noticed in the doc's office the other day that the FDA recently approve a prescription only med that is basically highly refined fish oil...funny how that shit works....remind anyone of another Natural Herb...Haha...

One other biggie is that if you are taking meds that are metabolized by the P450 3A4 cytochrome then mixing it with cannabis is not too good. Now I am sure there are exceptions but if anyone wants there are several studies on PubMed that will define this further. Search for Cannabis AND P450 3A4....

I am so glad I found this thread, i always think I am alone in this struggle. I will say this though, I feel that people that have these conditions are usually very intelligent, analytical, deep thinking individuals.....I am the exception to that rule though...lol

I was 'told' by a high school therapist that I'm bi-polar with sociopathic tendencies. Told me I was a serious threat to myself aswell as my peers. I went on a cock tail of Lithium, Prozac and hermazopran. I'm not sure if I spelled that right, it's been a long time. The meds sucked, they left me in a constant zombie state. Them to kick it all off, if I ran out of my scripts, instantly suicidal..Through the 2 years I used pharma, I probably attempted suicide half a dozen times.

Then I found MJ

Ganja turned my life around. I could be in social settings for the first time in my life. I'm so bad that I can't go to the grocery store sober. But now as long as I can smoke, the depression's gone. Only downside is I'm in a non med state and I have randoms. I use throw down, but the stress adds a whole new type of depression.

I tried Mosca's C99 bx-1 and found a nice pineapple pheno, but it can be too racy and doesn't really help if I'm in one of those mood's.

Anyway's sorry for the ramble, but this topic hit's a raw spot.

Being bi polar is an everyday struggle for me (and I'm sure everybody else).

Keep doing the damn thing and fighting the good fight.

how strange

about 3 minutes after my last post and one of my patients called...i will paraphrase what she said; Please keep growing that Deathstar for me. I have had chronic depression with some manic phases for 32 years...

How weird huh?

I was just getting ready to flower the mother because most of my patients said it was too strong. It is for me personally also. The Deathstar i have has got to be busting some serious teens in THC, percentage wise.

click80...yer statement above made me go and dig up this quote....

"Intelligent people, through their ability to analyze, often realize things which are disconcerting, which others would not see. They also are often capable of feeling more deeply, both pain and joy". (Adapted from Struggle for Intimacy, by Janet Gerringer Woititz)

taken from the page http://eqi.org/signs_of_emotionally_abused_people.htm

FWIW....The list above held quite a few puzzle peices in all of this for me because (as a sufferer of emotional and verbal abuse) it >>is<< me in many instances. I pass it along because...while I KNEW many of these things previously, seeing them bulleted out on a list and all in one place really brought it all home. (pun intended) I have a feeling that others here have suffered similar (and worse) abuses and such abuses are THE cause for the emotional challenges we face today. (a.k.a. "the list")

sky high said:

click80...yer statement above made me go and dig up this quote....

"Intelligent people, through their ability to analyze, often realize things which are disconcerting, which others would not see. They also are often capable of feeling more deeply, both pain and joy". (Adapted from Struggle for Intimacy, by Janet Gerringer Woititz)

taken from the page http://eqi.org/signs_of_emotionally_abused_people.htm

FWIW....The list above held quite a few puzzle peices in all of this for me because (as a sufferer of emotional and verbal abuse) it >>is<< me in many instances. I pass it along because...while I KNEW many of these things previously, seeing them bulleted out on a list and all in one place really brought it all home. (pun intended) I have a feeling that others here have suffered similar (and worse) abuses and such abuses are THE cause for the emotional challenges we face today. (a.k.a. "the list")

Click to expand...

wow....didnt happen to see when that was written, but sure could of saved me the trouble of having to sit down at the age of 17 and read college psych books....i did learn a lot of big words though...kinda gives me a kick to see i was right about the intelligence factor...and at that time i only had an eighth grade education...yep kept on getting suspended for fighting, i had chip on my shoulder as big as my temper was bad...

for those peeps on psychotropic meds, i went and looked up on pubmed for research studies on cannabis interactions with those meds, there are some even more recent studies showing that the two should not be mixed, from a chemical interaction perspective. i mention this because i read one or two posts here that stated they were or had been on meds. i firmly beleive these meds should be stopped, see then if the cannabis is more more effective.

i still have down days, but i have learned to use it...when those days hit,i smoke headband, and then i write in my journal a lot, return emails, read, and i spend lots of time with my plants. spraying for spidermites seems to be especially therapeutic..lol

growing is very much like a good dog, you get back exactly what you put into them. if you love them, you get it back, but double. if only all of our human relationships could be so emotionally honest.

kinda funny, i lurked on thcfarmer for a long time and found a handful of people who's posts i thought were especially informative and seemed like the kinda people with whom i would drink a beer....most of those same peeps have posted on this thread....what a funny dimension we're living in.

and no i'm not ripping off o. henry, i spilled cloning solution on keyboard and im having to use the virtual keyboard...and for those running os x tiger 10.4.11, the caps nor the cap locks work on the virtual keyboard...what a big bug that should have been patched...

This is a truely inspiring thread, I've personally had depression and have family members that are Bi-polar, there's so much valuable information here for people like myself.

"Cannabis, the wonder drug".

Thank you for all those who have posted....

My father suffers from Bi polar, and one of my best friends growing up was severely bi polar he was prescribed to a pill but once I introduced him to pot he quite taking the pills and swore by smoking a doob he was feeling like a new person. I believe him too bc He was a much more mellow happy person when smoking. The problem was when he would start drinking. This cat coulldnt drink. As far as what strains workeed the best for him, When we werent smoking Affie bud it was mids.

I got a multitude of health problems and shit leaves you stressing man truegritt, I have had the same thing in the past, getting pissed off over things that havnt happened and probably never will. I took a couple meds in the past but some of the side effects of these new pills freak me out.
Sending love to everyone in this thread, hope everyone has a great 2011

Just found this thread...

Hello all... I just stumbled upon this thread... funny how certain individuals (& psychologies) tend to congregate together in certain fields...


Haven't been to a dr in over a decade... close to 16 years now... excluding my mmj eval's that is... but without a doubt, I could be clinically diagnosed & prescribed for bipolar, ocd & depressive tendencies.

The last 2 years have been just about the most stressful as my entire life before culminated. From a friend with a bullet in the head to personally getting broke & destitute... and everything in between... then throw in CO since April. Just feel absolutely horrid at times... sick to my stomach... even ready to just give up.

I don't feel weed really gets me out of the thoughts & lethargy & lack of will & apathy & funk and/or haze that sometimes overcomes me. There are literally times where I can stare at a blank tv screen and have several hours pass by and still wish to do nothing... perhaps be nothing.

I've can see the tendencies & patterns in my life... and really, though they are always within me & present... the circumstances that I am involved in... often perceived as 'happening to me'... kinda determine how bad I am. The worse the stressors, the worse my psychological state... the worse my attitudes & behaviors... and so goes the spiral... esp if things stay or keep getting worse.

It's not even just perspective, as I can be very upbeat & jovial & optimistic. It's more realizing that life is indeed tough & really bad shit can/often does happen to really good people. At least that helps me get by... it's not just me, or you, or any other single people. A lot of really bad shit goes down & sometimes feeling badly is the appropriate response.

When it gets consuming for me though, weed doesn't seem to help. The issues are deeper & weed tends to moderate it for me, but it's always there.


If you guys want, this cut of the chemdog haze has been a daily favorite for me... it is up & buzzy & definitely heady... even for those of us that are medicated even when we sleep, 365x???.

For me, I have to almost keep up a rotation of different weeds, and I can only really deal with the uppy/zippy/buzzy weeds that can keep me functional & motivated & clear.

She's a real SSH leaning variety & does the trick... right up to the 'wheeeew' buzz at first.

Let me know, she helps me on a consistent basis... hope she can help you.


Wow, just said some shit on a public forum...???

im not diagnosed with bi-polar but i share symptoms, i have sever PTSD, the strain that has worked best for me is love potion great uplifting head high but no anxiety or paranoia leaves me in a great upbeat mood while still being very chill and relaxed, also helps with intrusive memories for me its my anti-deppresant, anti-anxiety, anti-psychotic med strain