Cigarettes

[pinegrovedave]

6. Hair Loss-- I am experiencing some normal male pattern balding (as should be expected from my family history) but I've also been losing hair from the back and sides of my head which is abnormal, and I've lost hair from these areas faster than my "widows peaks".

18. Extreme fatigue in arms and legs.

All symptoms of low testosterone or high levels of estrogen. It can and does happen to men in your age bracket. Regarding your weight loss...If you're losing lean body mass (muscle), that can also be a symptom.

 

[squiggly]

If you think it's a B12-, why not just start supplementing? I mean, this is reminding me quite a lot of our granddaughter and her gluten intolerance. It was looking like it could very well be Celiac, and you want to know what the Tx is for Celiac? Removing gluten from the diet. So, irrespective of a proper Dx, the Tx would be exactly the same so that's what we did and she improved DRASTICALLY.

I am actually heading to the store later to grab some supplements--and have already been supplementing my diet with liver and lots more fresh meat, fortified cereals, and fortified soy products.

I wanted to be sure that I wouldn't exacerbate anything by taking vitamins. Taking a multivitamin made me VERY ILL awhile back (severe nausea and stomach pain, cold sweats, etc)--and so I'm sort of afraid of supplements and prefer to get shit through my diet if I can.

I also wanted to be sure I was getting the right type of b12 as there are several. I'm pretty convinced on what to get now (the sublingual methylcobalamin is the ticket according to most).

Another problem with this deficiency is that if it is not treated properly, it can cause more issues (degeneration of spinal cord as an example). Things need to be addressed in the proper order and other deficiencies really need to be identified in order to decide what that order is.

Turns out b12 can go first though, and I spent most of the day yesterday reading medical journals convincing myself of this.

Also, the circumstances of my other medical issues (chronic gastritis/GERD) suggest that what I might be dealing with is in fact pernicious anemia, which is a b12 absorption deficiency.

Regardless it looks as though there will be a long road ahead if this is the case--b12 deficiency takes some time to correct in most of the cases I've heard of. If I have anything to be happy about, though, its that I appear to have caught it before any SEVERE consequences have occurred. I am especially referring to neuropathy, of which I have some--but nothing as bad as what I've read about.

So all of these symptoms sound bad enough, right?

I got myself into big trouble reading the medical journals. They made clear for me the biochemistry that is CAUSING these issues and as a guy who understand biochemistry it was very alarming to read what might be happening in my body.

I could legitimately be giving myself cancer right now, lol.

Everything from DNA synthesis to synthesis of methionine, to increased homocysteine levels (stroke and artherosclerosis risk), to inability to construct new myelin sheathes for nerve tissue.

I mean like, wow. Reading it I was like damn I shut off half of the reactions in my biochemistry class by not having this stuff around.

Totally terrifying lol.

 

[Seamaiden]

I'll suggest reading the dietetic journals. My mother's a registered dietitian (over 50yrs now), and yeah, you'll get yourself reading the med journals as a layperson. There's a LOT to know about human nutrition.

Did you know that people with rheumatoid arthritis should avoid all solanaceous vegetables? Tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, potatoes. Some aggravate the condition more than others, patient-depending, but I have a friend who cannot eat tomatoes at all, she feels it immediately, and peppers and eggplants aren't far behind. There is a compound or group of compounds in these nightshades that causes flare-ups.

That's just one example of what's known in the dietary world, but isn't normally seen or reported in the medical world.

Edit** GERD/gastric upset (high in the tract) is something I've only recently been experiencing in my life. Post-menopause it's actually not all that unusual. In response I've had to cut out black pepper and animal flesh. I can't eat whole eggs, but I can eat dishes with eggs as an ingredient, and I can eat meringues. I can drink all the milk I want, and yogurt, cheese and ice cream not only don't cause me problems, but if I'm having stomach upset they settle it down.

You might want to also consider the hormonal aspect of this issue as my husband suggests.

 

[squiggly]

I'll suggest reading the dietetic journals. My mother's a registered dietitian (over 50yrs now), and yeah, you'll get yourself reading the med journals as a layperson. There's a LOT to know about human nutrition.

Did you know that people with rheumatoid arthritis should avoid all solanaceous vegetables? Tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, potatoes. Some aggravate the condition more than others, patient-depending, but I have a friend who cannot eat tomatoes at all, she feels it immediately, and peppers and eggplants aren't far behind. There is a compound or group of compounds in these nightshades that causes flare-ups.

That's just one example of what's known in the dietary world, but isn't normally seen or reported in the medical world.

Edit** GERD/gastric upset (high in the tract) is something I've only recently been experiencing in my life. Post-menopause it's actually not all that unusual. In response I've had to cut out black pepper and animal flesh. I can't eat whole eggs, but I can eat dishes with eggs as an ingredient, and I can eat meringues. I can drink all the milk I want, and yogurt, cheese and ice cream not only don't cause me problems, but if I'm having stomach upset they settle it down.

You might want to also consider the hormonal aspect of this issue as my husband suggests.

I'm pretty sure my hormones are in balance. There are many more things I'd expect to see before hair loss from low T--and I've seen none of them. As I said I used to be an athlete and was a pretty serious one at that, so I'm familiar with testosterone and the consequences of low/high levels. It just doesn't really fit the bill.

Testosterone checks 2 things off the list.

B12 checks 25.

I'll wait for the bloodwork, if nothing shows I'll mention it to the doc.

As a slight for instance: I want to fuck ALL OF THE TIME, but I can't because it gets my heart racing and shortness of breath kicks in--and I end up in anxiety mode.

If I want to fix this shit for anything, it's that.

Past few nights I've just downed a few ativan and gone at it 20 mins later.

 

[Seamaiden]

LMAO! That's awesome.

 

[pinegrovedave]

10. Weight loss. This is alarming me, I didn't know until I hit the doctor the other day but I am currently 122 pounds!!!!! I have been 135-140lbs EVERY DAY that I can remember from freshman year of high school until this most recent doctor visit. Seeing the scale there was a holy shit moment for me.

That is certainly cause for concern. I know your age, may I ask your height? Are you logging your food intake? The reason I ask is that I'm a trainer and your weight is extremely disconcerting your a male in your age bracket.

 

[squiggly]

That is certainly cause for concern. I know your age, may I ask your height? Are you logging your food intake? The reason I ask is that I'm a trainer and your weight is extremely disconcerting your a male in your age bracket.

5'9"

I haven't been logging it but I can tell you it's been abysmal. I have had no appetite whatsoever.

I've been eating better the past few days but I'm still only managing 2 meals a day with no snacks. It's a battle to even keep hydrated right now.

 

[pinegrovedave]

5'9"

I haven't been logging it but I can tell you it's been abysmal. I have had no appetite whatsoever.

I've been eating better the past few days but I'm still only managing 2 meals a day with no snacks. It's a battle to even keep hydrated right now.

OMFG Squig...You need to log your food for 3 days and send me EXACTLY what you're eating. a doc can't help you here. A 27 year old male at 5'9" with a body weight of 122lbs is..umm...not good. You may have other things going on, but your diet needs to be reigned in. Do you exercise? You're losing lean body mass right now I suspect and that exacerbates the issue as lean body mass is active tissue but if one is in a calorie deficit mode with no exercise, one tends to lose as much muscle as they do fat. Trust me on this. I can link you to studies that bear this out.

I'm not much taller than you and I'm 53 years of age. I'm 5'11", 185lbs and I'm at a very healthy 13.5% body fat percentage. I'd like to help if I may. Just sayin, OK?

 

[squiggly]

OMFG Squig...You need to log your food for 3 days and send me EXACTLY what you're eating. a doc can't help you here. A 27 year old male at 5'9" with a body weight of 122lbs is..umm...not good. You may have other things going on, but your diet needs to be reigned in. Do you exercise? You're losing lean body mass right now I suspect and that exacerbates the issue as lean body mass is active tissue but if one is in a calorie deficit mode with no exercise, one tends to lose as much muscle as they do fat. Trust me on this. I can link you to studies that bear this out.

I'm not much taller than you and I'm 53 years of age. I'm 5'11", 185lbs and I'm at a very healthy 13.5% body fat percentage. I'd like to help if I may. Just sayin, OK?

Thanks dude, I'll get on that.

Haven't been exercising--currently dealing with what I'm *guessing* is postural orthostatic tachycardia (heart rate way up and BP way down when I stand). A consequence of what I'm sure will turn out to be b12 deficiency at this point--though it may have something to do with thyroid as this runs in the family, had a full battery of bloodwork done that comes in Tuesday.

I'm afraid to do exercise till I see my blood work and visit a cardiologist for EKG/Echo Stress Test.

I passed out when I stood up out of bed this morning. Shit is definitely heading in a negative direction--I am currently fearing for my life quite seriously.

I really appreciate the offer of help.

I've been eating like shit for YEARS, but my weight has been pretty solid as I said. My heart sunk when I looked at that scale the other day. Really scared the bejesus out of me and I haven't been un-scared since.

I'm trying to take this lightly but everything about my physical condition and my *gut* is telling me that I'm at death's door if nothing is done.

 

[midwestdensies]

Yea man your way under weight and diet is so crucial to achieve proper weight. Im 5'9" also and 155 and im still i skinny ass mofo. It seems since the cigarettes youve learned alot about yourself and how to improve good luck with getting healthy squigs. Few weeks youll be fine just work towards your goals.

 

[Cort]

Homey, I was 5'6 120 lbs till I was 20yo. 140 till 30yo. even working out.

You jumping all over. Dr can rule out abnormal shit, but my body didnt settle till mid/late 20s. I work out sometimes, others not;
early / mid 20os we hit some changes

 

[Cort]

replacing cigs with joints helped me quit cold turkey too, but i guess i was never truly addicted.

The mother buckskin tax from 2 + to 4+ a pack a few years ago made me quit. Unemployed at time and hardly could eat, let alone smoke.

 

[chickenman]

Please don't take this in the wrong way, it's my opinion and this is a discussion.
It just seems odd to me that someone is so smart is killing himself with cigarettes, soda, crap food, overstimulation, hard drug dealing and pro blay use, stressful lifestyle, we know the story, lots of life lived in 30 years.
I admit I too was a mess for many years, but I some how managed decent health for an alcoholic due to eating better than most drunks.
Us humans... Go figure....
I guarantee your in for a roller coaster ride, just hang in there, don't over think things so much, you seem to go back and forth with worry this and that....
I would seriously recommend at least six months living calmly as possible.
You still got lots of time to learn, grow flourish and be happy, but that will never happen if you don't slow down, heal, get healthy, find yourself relax, time heals, never happens over nite, all the years of damage can't be healed with Ativan in a few days or even weeks.

 

[squiggly]

Please don't take this in the wrong way, it's mt opinion

I'm still waiting on it--but I promise not to take it the wrong way!!

One of the most comforting about this whole process for me has been the many perspectives everyone has brought. When you're dealing with anxiety one of the big problems is getting stuck on cruise control and developing tunnel vision when it comes to your issues.

 

[squiggly]

Please don't take this in the wrong way, it's my opinion and this is a discussion.
It just seems odd to me that someone is so smart is killing himself with cigarettes, soda, crap food, overstimulation, hard drug dealing and pro blay use, stressful lifestyle, we know the story.

I actually agree with you chicken. I didn't realize how stupid it all was until it caught up with me.

I have been off hardcore drugs (and haven't sold one) for almost 10 years now--but I've gotta say one of the bigger fears I'm dealing with right now is that perhaps some of the neurological/psychological problems I'm having are a result of that drug use.

As far as the cigarettes/soda--I've kicked the both of them, for good. I couldn't agree with you more here.

Over-stimulation, I'm not so sure. I don't really know what the limits would be here. I live a pretty laid back lifestyle these days. I do have a fair amount on my plate though, so I can't really say for sure if I'm taking on too much or not.

Crap food, I'm doing my best to turn this around and again I agree with you. It's going to be an uphill battle. One of the best things going for me on this end, though, is that it's actually cheaper to feed myself healthily (even without figuring the money it will save me on doctor bills)--and it tastes a helluva lot better. When it comes to this, I have to say that it was primarily laziness that got me into this mess, but complacency and lack of respect for the consequences played a role as well.

Believe me I've strapped myself in for the long haul on this one. I've been using the Ativan as a transition because I was really having a rough time. Each day is getting a bit easier. I'm still using the stuff as needed, but I've done my best every day to stretch the amount of time I go before dosing--and I've strictly avoided upping my dose in any way, despite the fact that benzos become less and less effective with time. In fact I'm relying on that a bit to keep me in check.

Rest assured--as a college student with a documented medical history of drug use/abuse the Ativan is a temporary measure. No doctor on the planet would prescribe it to me as a permanent solution. I was provided with 6 days worth of 0.5mg pills (12 pills total) with instructions to take twice daily as needed, and taking 2 at night if necessary for sleep.

What I've actually done thus far in terms of dosing has been a maximum of 0.5mg a day (taken in 0.25mg increments). The past two days I've managed to take only 0.25mg so I'm doing better.

I really only have used it when the anxiety became too much to handle and thoughts of ending it at all costs began to enter my head. As far as utility the greatest benefit has been in aiding my sleep schedule.


I'm hoping to have a better picture of what I'm in for later today. I've had my appointment moved up to today to see my bloodwork.

It's probably the first time in my life that I've hoped my test results turned up something abnormal. I would hate to think that I feel this way just because--but that's a reality I'm willing to accept if it should come to that.

Thanks for your thoughts as always chicken, some of these things are important and helpful to hear from you as someone else who is in recovery. I trust your opinions on some of this stuff more than most.

 

[Seamaiden]

I'm still waiting on it--but I promise not to take it the wrong way!!

One of the most comforting about this whole process for me has been the many perspectives everyone has brought. When you're dealing with anxiety one of the big problems is getting stuck on cruise control and developing tunnel vision when it comes to your issues.

I was wondering whether or not you could see that this is what's happening. Not that your physical health isn't an issue, you're definitely on the slim side there and the bit about the headrushes when you get up isn't right. But once you start eating right, get yourself 'squared' away (figure out what's happening, and I wouldn't be surprised if you're deficient in a lot of nutrients), that will help. You may not be able to control the anxiety yourself if it continues, but I'm very glad to see that you're not one of those that's recalcitrant to ask when you need it.

Don't be ashamed of needing some Rx help. I know that a lot of folks here are quite against it, but there really are times when it's absolutely appropriate. Just keep telling yourself you'll be ok, don't keep up the mental discussion that says you're at death's door.

 

[pinegrovedave]

I'm afraid to do exercise till I see my blood work and visit a cardiologist for EKG/Echo Stress Test.

As a trainer, I would never put someone in your physical condition into any regimen that requires a lot of physical exertion at the moment. Other types of exercise are available. Until you get your weight and strength up I'd recommend yoga and/or Tai Chi. These are beneficial not only for your body, but for your mind as well.

I can't emphasize enough the need to log your food in order to capture a precise picture of what you're consuming. I suspect you're not ingesting enough proteins and fats, but that is conjecture at this point without a log.

 

[squiggly]

Don't be ashamed of needing some Rx help. I know that a lot of folks here are quite against it, but there really are times when it's absolutely appropriate. Just keep telling yourself you'll be ok, don't keep up the mental discussion that says you're at death's door.

I AM one of those people, and I have a better reason than most. I actually know what most of the shit is--and perhaps more importantly what it isn't.

I can't describe to you the loathing I have for prescription meds aimed at psychological effects. I have long bemoaned their use--and now I feel very much a hypocrite that I feel I need them.

It's frustrating to no end and represents a huge negative for me.

As you said though, there are times when it's appropriate and I'm not the kind of person who will cut off my nose to spite my face over a conviction like this.

I will say that I never saw myself taking prescription drugs for a mental problem, in fact I'd sworn I never would. I was wrong, and it sucks total ass.

 

[squiggly]

As a trainer, I would never put someone in your physical condition into any regimen that requires a lot of physical exertion at the moment. Other types of exercise are available. Until you get your weight and strength up I'd recommend yoga and/or Tai Chi. These are beneficial not only for your body, but for your mind as well.

I can't emphasize enough the need to log your food in order to capture a precise picture of what you're consuming. I suspect you're not ingesting enough proteins and fats, but that is conjecture at this point without a log.

Thanks for the vote of confidence that I'm doing the right thing by avoiding strenuous exercise. I have been looking into yoga as I'm having back problems and I was told it can help with anxiety as well.

I am definitely going to start that log.

 

[ftwendy]

An excellent meal / vitamin replacement is 'The Ultimate Meal'... Tastes like swamp water, but it is nutritional magic. It does a good job at replacing traditional pill vitamins. I think the nausea you felt after taking a vit a few days ago may have been b/c of an empty stomach. How much zinc was in the vit? Zi is notorious for nausea.

Have you considered whey protein? That's a simple and tasty way to add protein to your diet.

Just some thoughts. Hope you're doing well today S. ftw