dreams which change our lives
urgh... tell me about it. yeah, mix asthma, i still can never spell... with copd, +reflux... and if ya eat, within 3 years, of sleeping... ohhh lemme tell ya... ya end up chokin on your own, puke. good times.
i didn't know gods' path, was gonna take me back to larry the roofer's and since we weren't shootin pool: i ate.
remember jimmy
u know... i don't think i was freakin, yesterday...oh... well, maybe just a smidge. it didn't feel like i HAD to go offroading, to find THE path. anyway, i went to larry's because i know a lil bout granimals and know at least 2 people who've had their biceps, stuck up animals assholes. awe... u know u love it... it's like being a nazi, slave owner: it was the big thing, in its day... but it's hard to find anyone with their hand in the air, sayin, "oh! oh! pick me!", or... "I HAVE ", or, "which one do we fuck, first?"... n then, they move in, on ya... thank u, lord
but that's not y i went to larry's, either... when the one who matters most, to someone you danced the tic toc dance on the beach, to... what, a couple days before... is sick and your friend, you know, is watching an o2 sensor, of sorts.... and one grain, feels like an eternity... the loneliest 10x10, in the universe... that's just what you do.
i gave my 2 cents and besides trying to take his mind off his soft, furry, intimmidating, teady bear of a bulldozer, before his hands and knees.
that's just what you do. the strongest man, I've ever known... brought to his knees... and he's a veteran.
i don't want veterans on their knees, before my red, sandpaper, eyes... to be the manner, in which metaphors, paradoxes, internal conflicts and spiritual matters, are presented to me, in. how many times do i need to see strong men and women, crushed under bulldozers, with 32psi, tires. rhetorical.
sigh...
I've said time and time, again... my bad luck, plus feeling like I've been riding through life and death, situations, as i take my journey, with i met a man... and here, again, i leave the house wondering, "should i have asked whether we SHOULD have a firearm, in the car", because once again, i heard myself saying, "calm down... you have live preserving, training... I'll call a friend who knows...if my number is ringing his brathring baring.... he needs to answer and in that moment, carey is my god. and as ltr is doing chest compressions on a pup, bleeding out his nose, vomiting so i gotta have him clear airways... STOP! FOCUS, larry! RESCUE breaths"; also- my training, but it wasn't my hands, which help his head.... and gods answered, as larry's answer to, "i have a 1200amp, jumper and a knife", was... "no"... and once again... I'd brought the boothill, shovel. marky mark... sniper... that's just what you do.
knew, i should've grabbed his gun.
some things i say, the cloud, anonymity because only u 4, look close enough to know... if that's the unpenetrated surface tension, of his poll... he's full of shit, about the rain. that's just how u smart peeps are... you look deeper; closer; u listen... that's just what you do... like seeing that luckys existed in ltr's 70s pic, he shared with no one, but his late wife, since they were taken. that's loyalty: he still pines for her; still, mourns her. that's just what you do...
i saw a salt container that said lucky, in the kitchen cupboard, in the background. that's just what you do... appreciate, what someone is sharing with you, to the marrow. i had his new, hobby lobby, light up magnifier, in my meathooks, this close, to joining his last cell phone, in the afterlife and dozer's... office... that's just what you do.
so when your best friend says to you and you know jimmy isn't the only one, ridin shotgun.... when you're blowing another light/whatever... and you calmly say, with ur flashers on n horn blowin... i never said i couldn't drive fast, Larry the roofer... i said i choose not to..."... ltr needed to chill the fuck out and console his furry friend. and i knew i was on gods' path because I'd been training for this, my entire life... both my parents were staties... been to the academy... driven on the skid pad... more than once... taken offensive driving... u have to realize, i don't remember the millennium i got my last ticket in... when your car salesman remembers y he doesn't like working, in inclement weather and his show n tell begins with, "uhhh... u might want to buckle up... you might remember me... or rather, this day"... because it's never me, in the driver's seat... when the vehicle loses control... ain't that the truth... and the path can get rocky and uneven because with my luck... that's when u have 3 flats in one day and ur trailer begins its orbit, on a scary, frozen, bridge... cold above and below... firsts... never me... so i kneed to know... it's going to recover easily and well... in subpar, situations... so... we see what your touted fx4, can really do, in a hurricane. man... i love what they did with the shocks n brakes... fuck the breakaway lugs! never me... and that's just what you do... and i told him and gods, "i don't care about the car; i can replace it. i don't care if they light me up... i WANT an escort... it's country... it's your best friends dog... even the fuzz, who never lemme buy em lunch... would say, "i have a gun, and a knife, and jumpers"... and i was considering... callin dispatch, myself... but it's they n gods who trained me... and i already know, their response time is 18 min... and Larry the roofer is my community and we got cop shox, cop motor, cop mind and 50miles to go..., "hit it". not wreckless... goosfraba... MY TURN... and this one, speeds... yeah... I'm fuckin this cow... you just hold its head. i been trained in a multitude of metropolises... and i know people are always going to do something stupid, before they do... i wasn't the youngest teamster, sworn in at the time, because i was cocky... i swore to never rat on a fellow teamster because i really was, "THE BEST DRIVER, YOU'LL EVER SEE". i grew up to tom cruise and nicole Kidman... i know what's up... I've spent my life, in a rearview mirror... live by the sword, die by the sword and i believe in gods... i live with all things that kill on carey's pillow... i defeat gods and monsters for breakfast, every fucking day... lord, I'm not gonna hurt anybody... just lemme help my one veteran, today... and i feel no fear. i expect obstacles on the gods trail... i play in the mud at 50mph for breakfast because i know that's my luck... i need to b ready, when losing control over 32psi... i am that good. we beat the vet... hyde had already calculated and strategized... gods trained him for that... my heart is doing its fluttering thing... psvt... I'm used to that... that's adrenaline... not the psvt... I'm used to that, my uncle drilled it into me... and i am calm... and i am not afraid. I'm in control...
that's just what gods do. trained to recognize gods hand in things, when i sense it... royal blood, under my raincoat i, "never use"... and emerging situations i heard, when meconium came into play... i was no longer alone... calm... fearless... could kill a man, in that moment... atomized iron, in the air... trained by veterans, who played in intestines of shreaded veterans, filling canteens with it... while shitting themselves and i know exactly what my tires r rated for, condition of my brakes, 32psi... because hyde knows metrics. I'm good at mathematics... i grew up on the jetons... hypotenuse this, mutha fukkas! coriolis effects, with marky mark n Italian jobs... oh yeah... my shyt it tight... xboxes ones n bose... collecting dust because it's childsplay, for hyde... we require ruts n guts n dirty butts. when i ride... i outrun dogs n poachers... that's just what you do. driving n pot n lovely g... my one things... that's just what u do.
in that moment... i was god, to a 5yr old and there wasn't a singular questionable choice to b made. my card was down... my friend was with his dog, while i intimidated even the biggest men, at the car dealership... that's just what you do. i had focus... one thing only... life... just breathe... focus... gods... always watching... even kobe steaks... watching... royal blood told me... i ride with my best friend... , "no shit"... rhetorical... that's just how i roll because that... is how winners play.
she said paper, or plastic... i said, "won't be my first... shovel's in the back, already. she, toos... refused any gratuity... and they cried, with us... didn't throw up, with ME... thank gods... would've made me rerun... did, anyway... weak stomach n all... but I'm used to it... i choked on puke, for years... i can do it in my sleep. i fight demons n high five gods, every day. i am not afraid. that's just what you do... when you meet a man. I'm used to telling people... well, jimmy... ryan... g... momz... get in the truck, your with me, now... u split any moneu find on the ground, if im standing next to u... but you're with me, now... this night, isn't going to end well for us... so when Jimmy got his tattoo after savin his kidz i dunno how many times..., "no good deed goes unpunished"... i knew i was amongst friends... i understood... he needed his community, as much as i needed him... wherever i stand, i know who stands behind me and when i break through my fear and dial a phone... even gods answer. isn't that something? my idea of heaven. I'm sorry about what i wrote. thanks for my training day. i know i was on the right path. i was just blowing through signs... #3 thinks, too fast. sometimes it takes me a while, to catch up. thank you...
-larry the roofer
-ldelray