current season

[SPARECHANGE]

and slushes
in the summer shade
under
the Newport pier

 

[SPARECHANGE]

cat
seek out
long beach
p&g fish market
if they're still at it
2pack even sang about em
try their catfish and sole soul?
then... devonshire area
lassen
masson-ish...
san carlo Italian deli
order the panzarotti
see whether pasqual is still married to the baker's daughter
pay my respects to joe/Giovanni
malibu
up a hill before the curve to las trancos
there's a bakery in a strip mall
try... ANYTHING

 

[SPARECHANGE]

awesome
the odious
rank
stank
of diarrhea
has already reinhabited
my happy
green home
sigh
blessings n curses
of the
ghost train
hazeeee
daze

 

[SPARECHANGE]

leaf me alone
to ocd
pinch one off
may as well
b in the kwrapper
alone n my solitude
with yet another
cold
Chinese buffet

 

[SPARECHANGE]

new faces
few can tolerate the roller coaster that my thread has torn intwo.
i recommend, if ur gonna loiter- turn off ur alerts, etc. post anything u like- your stories, bad n good days; whatever u wish... graffiti 100pgs with ur art if u wish. just b respectful of the other four plus four.
my thread is long broken and has become a collaborative book of inspiration, art, heart lives and even lies; exaggerations... I'm tracking my crazy and growth n research into lives, history and adventure.
take us 4 on a trip through your mind and the lives of your loved ones so they may live on, forever. show us...
tell us a story
and we four
will share hours

 

[SPARECHANGE]

wazzzattt!!??
budbackbuilding/budstacking.
lil late
lil lazy bout it

 

[SPARECHANGE]

with the stress of the day
i need to chill
n get my head right for bad news
doctors and town
need to order
can't handle flushes cleanouts n chems
just added ro
built
diox swap
will try to respond to requests
tomorrow
clawing new growth
N heavy
ph spots
mag spots
mild
no rush
ummm
guard
10k capsules
ummm
iso
cmag still
ummm boost
ummm fuk
check plug quantity or 50pk
ummm flawless finish
might b everything
xl latex free gloves
one size my ash
spare flask?
2 siphons
4pk aa rechargeable
make sure around $15>

 

[SPARECHANGE]

ooo if i had time n courage to escape to gods trail
i can hear the players playing
arresting spark
in the distance
in the cool
early
spring
breeze of the north
pines
scenting the air
not a cloud in the most sky
u ever seen

 

[SPARECHANGE]

with regard to cheating
it's never as good as one
imagines

one looks at another
clothed and decorated
thinking
10!!!
oft a different story
when the gloves
come off
one is never as good as one thinks one is
another is never
even
or
exceeding
in expectation
it's never worth
the collateral damage
and yet we're all human

just as nothing one can say
will make a grieving loved one
feel better

there's nothing one can say
to keep another from
being human
or natural disaster
EVERYONE makes mistakes

every oops
may be sheathed
shrouded
yet still
humans
“Newton's Third Law. The only way humans have figured out how to move forward is to leave something behind.” - TARS
for every action
there is a reaction

and in forensics class
humans always take
and leave
something behind
we may never be caught
but it is
one
who must live with the devastation
two wings may cause
remember
it takes
two
however
it is the free will of one
we are responsible four

 

[1diesel1]

with regard to cheating
it's never as good as one
imagines

one looks at another
clothed and decorated
thinking
10!!!
oft a different story
when the gloves
come off
one is never as good as one thinks one is
another is never
even
or
exceeding
in expectation
it's never worth
the collateral damage
and yet we're all human

just as nothing one can say
will make a grieving loved one
feel better

there's nothing one can say
to keep another from
being human
or natural disaster
EVERYONE makes mistakes

every oops
may be sheathed
shrouded
yet still
humans
“Newton's Third Law. The only way humans have figured out how to move forward is to leave something behind.” - TARS
for every action
there is a reaction

and in forensics class
humans always take
and leave
something behind
we may never be caught
but it is
one
who must live with the devastation
two wings may cause
remember
it takes
two
however
it is the free will of one
we are responsible four

 

[SPARECHANGE]

doods (head)... iiii heard a grip of stories, last night! i mean it's not even this person's, entire story and holy shyt! what an amazing life! while i was a bit star struck by the 1%er ring I'd seen, earlier... that, did not hold a candle, to the stories i heard... from a unique, individual who feels their life has been a mundane one. this individual, requires, anonymity, unfortunately... but I DON'T WANNA FORGET ANY OF IT! i mean like 6hrs, of my absolute fav: listening to a storyteller and an original tale... the kind of enviable life, most... only dream about. i mean if water for elephants wasn't enough... that... wasn't the beginning, middle, or ending. hooooleeeeeē shyt!!!
moonshine, the bad stuff, adventure, travel, ENTIRE BAR... BAR FIGHTS!!!, like firemen vs clowns so add wolverine's movie... motorcycle club life, challenges they overcame, trauma they overcame, necessary identity stuffs, stalker xxx; serious... stalker xxx... their NEED for anonymity... noses, broken more times, than Michael Jackson's... prostitution, outlaw truckin, living in the interior... train hopping... holy holy holy shyt!!! just the coolest, most adventurous, scary... sad... amazing, painful, lucky, unlucky, violent,
life!!! kinda creates a balance, doesn't it... and i still... found it extremely, enviable. one of my favorite, storytellers, ever... so far!

 

[SPARECHANGE]

i mean- imagine ur a teen... bust up ur spine, doin something they MAKE ya do, during p.e.
body brace... prolly not gettin many prom dates... retraining yourself to walk... avoiding the wheelchair ur betrothed to by 30; by sheer will.

waking up, not feeling your body, below your waste... intermittently... never knowing if yesterday, was the last day, you'll have been able to feel, there's still poo, in ur ass, much less, walk... jump... run... click ur fuckin heels and remember home... is the last place u want to b.
o
m
g
starting with first being violated, at 5yrs... young! ... only to keep ur younger siblings, from seeing scars, beatings, domestic fucking violence.
know what my contribution was
i find it... "interesting"... that while i have worked with enough men, to know that 98% cheat and 1%, lie... I've yet to meet the final, 1% of human men... and yet- i never never ever had a friend, coworker, acquaintance... who disclosed they were a physical abuser, of women and yet i know as many abused women, as i do, cheaters... how can this be?
L
I
V
I
D
NAPALM!

 

[SPARECHANGE]

grandpa... was a moonshiner... during prohibition.
grandpa... liked the connections vs the cash... and grandpa, was a well connected, man. i mean.... seen the transformer kid movie about booze? yeah... the picture i got. and u know... supplying that much, of the Pacific northwest... i told them they need to return to grandpa's and start digging til they strike gold, or flu. apparently, i wasn't the first, to consider it... "there's one, in every family"; -nemo...
violated in every imaginable way... recovered from p.e.... only to be struck by a car and reinjured... and still!!! fought to recover! stoned, by 12... drunk by... forgot, already. could u blame em?
running away with a carnival... jobs from bottom, to top, working their way, up.
trading favors for a roof, a meal, logistics... i mean, completely abandoned by the world and that sheer drive; will... even still!!!

 

[SPARECHANGE]

hopping trains through haunted, stilted cities and multimile, bridges over water, Columbia rivers, Astorias, eugenes... apples and coffee... hippies and carnies... goat roapers and one bar towns... on the OTHER side of the tracks... with broken, panoramic, glass.
cocaine, strippers, orgies, ink... i mean... that ain't the good stuff and wow.

 

[SPARECHANGE]

working, midweek, there, hobo hoppin freight trains, for over a year... only to return home and hustle the real cash, peelin layers, on weekends... IN THE TOWN U LIVE IN!!!

 

[SPARECHANGE]

finally, sayin- f it!... after ticket takin, money management, broken noses, guns guns guns... abuse abuse... PHYSICAL abuse... size zero to two, if i had to guess... at 100lbs... if it had been a woman... truck driving... 17 hrs to up n runnin carnivals... 3000mile weeks, no problem; a 2mil mile driver, if i had to guess, as 3000mi, is doable, legally... boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives and oopses, at shotgun point and 5min, head starts...
it's a female I'm talkin bout... btw... at times, with a tomboy, cut... mistaken for a male, up to 3yrs running... given opportunities, only men... were given.
lemme ask the reader a question- make ya feel any differently... thinking it may have been a male, or female?
truth b told... i don't know whether i even know of a single man, living or dead... who would've survived, even this far, into the tale.

true story

 

[SPARECHANGE]

i suppose i would've figured it was a gal, early on... were i the original reader, but men... have prostitution histories, domestic violence, cheated on... beatin on histories, as well... just- i never heard one, quite as rough, with my own ears, that wasn't, Hollywood.

 

[1diesel1]

Bababooie

 

[1diesel1]

OG Kush.............................anyone?

 

[SPARECHANGE]

she gave up 2 newborns, for adoption, as opposed to the route i owe for, with 2 & having to choose a wife vs 6mo... liquid brain, triploidy something (believe it meant 3 sets of chromosomes), daughter, I'd already named... who was unlikely to go full term, if survive, moments outside a womb, at all...
i can't imagine the determination, strength, will to live, of this LADY, after everything i heard and won't say, even... here.
men, constantly exploiting, abusing, beating the shit out of; being chased, state to state... one chance, having evidence lost, in the good ol boy, system and another, betrayed by her own kind; own family... from this same, predator. i can't even lift 8lbs, more than 20 times, over my head, or dig a single fence post, without complaint and even still... I'd like a lil alone time, with this "gentlemen".
a mother, who didn't seem to relate, 40yrs senior, until she fled back home, broken and bloodied; literally, running.... hobbling... backwards, off hospital grounds.
this lady knows... what knees look, feel n smell like, after crawling, 3 miles.
i just can't stop going over, what i heard.
how special... closed around 7 (lack of business, not hours)... just me n she... dimly lit, freezing fucking cold, the one night, i forgot all 3 jackets, at home... shooting the shit, til 0130. sooo intimate. best conversations and mostly, i got to listen and enjoy the ride.
it's so unfortunate that a stereotype, i learned from Hollywood, keeps ringing true... the hard hard lives, seemingly, prerequisite, of so many things that set the imaginations of men, women and children, ablaze. i want to run away with the circus. i want a bj from the forked tongue, pythona, of penthouse forum. i want to witness a full blown bar brawl. i want to live off the land, camping, every night. i want to try river water (shine). i want to hop freight trains and see parts of the world, even cars and planes, never see. i want to ride wild horses. work spring roundup... i want to have a mountain lion, deliver dinner. i want to point a gun at a woman beater, molester, rapist. i want to visit those historical towns. i want to be that strong. i want to be that fearless. i want to have that big a heart, even still... and that many friends, who would do anything for me.
such an independent thinker... those kinds of crowds... not one, tattoo...
i want to ride motorcycles, across country.
i want to ride all the rides i want, for free...
how many of those dreams, come at the cost, of a man's fist to my nose, ribs, etc... and whatever, shoved inside me, against my will... and a shotgun, wakeup call? all, but the shotgun, more than once, by more than one.
how does one survive all that
and still spend a lengthy, evening,
1' from someone, the same sex of most betrayers, in their life, alone, in a freezing cold, dimly lit, middle of nowhere club, with a 40min, emergency service, response time... how does one care enough to do so, ever... risk themselves, again... EVER... ever look at another man, again... much less, sit next to and expose their heart to one. how does one do that... ever... get passed that? how?
strongest, most beautiful... person... imagine what someone like this... perhaps, like you four, could do, if they had a mind to do so.
isn't she something