A tortoise penis. I then proceeded to watch a sensual and artfully produced clip of slugs mating before sitting the headphones down and stepping away from the computer exclaiming, "That's it, I'm done."
"Thank God!", replied my father. "You take forever to masturbate."
Kinda ruins childhood pet memories knowing Petey had a bigger and more impressive pee-pee than me.
If there's ever a checkbox for mild insanity on a job application make sure to check it because you're sick in the head for being able to watch that and laugh, guys. :)