I don't know if this is how to do this so...

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Ems49

Ems49

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So I am 52 and have ptsd panic anxiety disorder. I always struggled in school and only finished 9th grade. I have learning disabilities and don't learn like others. These forums helped. Me learn to actually pull off growing cannabis for my medical needs. As much as I enjoy looking at pretty buds I'm here to learn. I always see all this wonderful equipment like dwc and germ mats I'm on a fixed budget and can barely afford seeds but I still pull this off somehow. I was troubled because I felt like I was using the site for therapy and it hit me. This is therapy,every bit of it. From new seeds in the mail to trim jail I love every minute. I'm so happy to have found a place where I don't feel belittled or ashamed to show a pic because I'm afraid. The truth is I see the there are people like me out there. I'm not myself without this medicine. I can't afford to lose a grow for a simple problem. I think I have some things to share and friends to make and look forward to anybody who cares to listen...I wish I had more technical knowledge to offer. I will contribute what I can. Maybe I can help someone like I was helped....we all feel alone sometimes. I look forward to the journey here
 
Ems49

Ems49

Mtnstate
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bumps bruises and all 😆
 
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ComfortablyNumb

ComfortablyNumb

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Those are some great looking pix man.
Many of us here suffer with something. I have PTSD from childhood and the Military. I also drove ambulance which is a whole different sort of combat duty. It's not an easy thing to live with.
We are here if you need help. Many of us are willing to chat, all of us are here to give or get growing advice.
So, no need to feel ashamed or put down here.
This is your forum. Don't let anyone be a bully to you.
 
Ems49

Ems49

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ComfortablyNumb said:
Those are some great looking pix man.
Many of us here suffer with something. I have PTSD from childhood and the Military. I also drove ambulance which is a whole different sort of combat duty. It's not an easy thing to live with.
We are here if you need help. Many of us are willing to chat, all of us are here to give or get growing advice.
So, no need to feel ashamed or put down here.
This is your forum. Don't let anyone be a bully to you.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much!
 
Ems49

Ems49

Mtnstate
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20210802 161731

I use the tent primary but separate them in late flower. I just picked up a cheap Amazon cob at 240w. I have hlg panels to upgrade. In the tent are 4 50w timber cree cob and a bloom plus 1500w qb with old samsung diodes. Electric bill is one of my biggest concerns. These are recent pics I used to be more organized lol
 
Ems49

Ems49

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I was put in an institution at 13 to 15,another until 17. I was in usnmcb74 but discharge and missed the gulf. Failed a drug test for pot. I did deploy to Cuba
 
Ems49

Ems49

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A failed suicide attempt but ny in the 80s was tough and I'm well over that. I started smoking young and its been the one thing that has kept me safe its that simple. .I lost a sister to aids when she was 33 and raised her daughter to adulthood. A few years later my dad to mesothelioma . I was a diesel technician for years until I once again failed for cannabis and lost my livelihood. I take care of and live with my 82 year old mother in the beautiful mountains. We bought this house with the settlement we received from dad. He was a machinist mate in the navy and the asbestos was responsible. Said they painted on the walls.
 
Ems49

Ems49

Mtnstate
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I only say this because I think this does really help me medically and I can't be the only one like me hopefully. At least I can get this off my chest. I'm hoping I'm not the only person who does this crap. I've had a rough time lately and thc farmer has helped me tremendously the past few days
 
detroitjoe

detroitjoe

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Ems49 said:
I only say this because I think this does really help me medically and I can't be the only one like me hopefully. At least I can get this off my chest. I'm hoping I'm not the only person who does this crap. I've had a rough time lately and thc farmer has helped me tremendously the past few days
Click to expand...
Of course thats what im here for thc


Thats great you found a spot for some peace of mind.
welcome to the farm & get your healing on.
 
Ems49

Ems49

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But on the upside...my brother is moving back to the states after being away for years..its very inexpensive for property in this area. Its quie depressed economically but the way of life us slow I need it after growing up in ny lol. Its like dog years living there .
 
Nectarivorous

Nectarivorous

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ComfortablyNumb said:
Those are some great looking pix man.
Many of us here suffer with something. I have PTSD from childhood and the Military. I also drove ambulance which is a whole different sort of combat duty. It's not an easy thing to live with.
We are here if you need help. Many of us are willing to chat, all of us are here to give or get growing advice.
So, no need to feel ashamed or put down here.
This is your forum. Don't let anyone be a bully to you.
Click to expand...
Man I already liked you now I know why. A month ago I buried my dad. 20 years as a paramedic left him ruined with PTSD. I tried to get him to switch from the cocktail of bullshit the doctors had him on to flower medicine but he was religious and had too many judgments around 'drugs'. Ironic for a guy that was taking literally 20 of them a day. After 15 years it took him down.

Anyone who spends their life working in service has my respect mate. Here's to the medicine and here's to you.
 
Ems49

Ems49

Mtnstate
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I used to run 6 photos at at a time. Running these autos allows me to harvest every month and half or so. I use alot and seem to griw immune unless I swap genetics. It seems to work for me. Its my personal medicine and I enjoy the variety.
 
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