ptsd related

[feildofdreams]

Peace

 

[feildofdreams]

Wow! this site is just too much fucking fun now days!?
:fubarThis place use to be really cool? wtf happend?

 

[coolslayer]

I'm not sure,but I doubt even Martha Stewart would consider this a good thing.

 

[sky high]

I musta missed somethin' (again). What happened, bro?

 

[coolslayer]

This site became a ghost town,is what.......

 

[sky high]

Seems to me to have coincided with grow dat's visit and the push at the State level to nixx the law.....but maybe it's just a coinkadink ?

All you can do is post it up and make it happen. Maybe a smoke report or two?

hope all is well

s h

 

[feildofdreams]

Yes, "ghost town"
I was a little humiliated when I first posted this so I took it down. After a personal debate I figured this might help someone down the road never know?
The only way to manage ptsd is to face down the demons that haunt the memories.
This is what I learned after this event..
"We must confront our fears, as someday, they will be thrust upon us without choice"

Shit what a day. I have to get this one of my chest.
My wife's grandmother had a mild heart attack this morning.
Had just finished putting some memory in Grams computer when she walk's in and try's it out. Loves how fast it is and gives me a big kiss. Tells me how wonderful I am then proceeds to the restroom to take care of some business. Standing in the next room I hear my wife’s aunt scream for me. I get in the hallway and the aunt has Grammy in a front suplex trying to hold her up. Gram was white and cold, gone completely limp and mumbling that she could not feel her legs or arm's. We (aunt and I) get her to her bedroom floor a few feet away. The next few min's were pretty horrific with vomit and screaming and too make matters more confusing, my fucking ptsd kicked in and I started flashing like none other. Everything became a blur, memories started to mix with the screams, All I wanted to do was get up and run but something in my head made me stay? A few seconds go by and this powerful burst of courage hit’s me? My thought changed from “run” too “make her comfortable and keep it calm”. My wife was on her other side of her and could see that I was about to freak out, but, for the first time in a many years gentlemen, I over came my anxieties and sat with her until help arrived.
She came around a few min’s before the paramedics showed up and slowly started to move, talk, feel, recognize us by name and by the time the gurney was in the hallway, she was able to get to her feet, and with help, walk herself too it. That lady is tough as nails, I swear to God lol
The docs tell us she is doing great and should be ready to come home after a day or so of test and observation.
Love me some Grammy guy’s this lady has helped change my life in more ways then one and is one of the sweetest human being’s I have ever had the honor of knowing.
Regardless of beliefs, Please send some healing prayers for this awesome women.
Thanks my friends.

Quick note: I was medicated on the smoke I grew (the big plant) when this happened. I honestly don't know how I would have handled this if I had not been medicated? All is good though and I feel totally different about my disorder having been faced with such a situation. A little more "empowered" you might say.

Update: Gram was able too come home this afternoon and is doing great.

 

[sky high]

Thanks for sharing, bro. I hope granny is feelin betta now.

your PTSD story made me think of a song lyric by Todd Rundgren called "Tiny Demons"....

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIDr0D1s1po&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]


Tiny Demons
Composer: Todd Rundgren
Duration: 3:09

One of them plays a piccolo in my ear
Another one makes me smell things that aren't there
And they know where to hide
And they know everything that's inside
Of my head
Tiny demons, inside me

One of them ties a lasso around my heart
Another makes me nod when I drive the car
And they won't ever leave
But they won't show their faces to me
And they wait 'til I feel
Like they're gone and they jump out and steal
My relief
Tiny demons, inside me


be well, bro

s h

 

[blazer]

Hey bro ur story is appreciated I also have ptsd (what ever it is)but takes some courage to let off ur chest what u were going through I have been on many meds but the one the really fits me is the cannabis its awesome doesn't fix prob but helps with out crazy side effects its fucking gods plant but the politicians don't give a fuck who it helps unless its there pocket

 

[johnursery]

im glad to hear your grams was able to come home, and bravo on dealing with your PTSD while taking care of the situation, i also find mmj to be my greatest relief from my PTSD though for me its quit strain dependant but being able to get off alot of pills from the VA is great

 

[coolslayer]

Sorry that you had to go through that,Fieldy.......but good job.

 

[feildofdreams]

Thanks for the support my brothers. Twas a freaky moment but Gram is doing better then any of us expected, Myself included:) Just a few days now and she insist on continuing her normal routine. Hell she is in her 80's she can do what she wants in my book but I told her she better Crooke on someone else's watch. lol
Thanks for that tube vid Sky. Couldn't say it better some day's

 

[coolslayer]

Alive!!!