Sometimes breaking up a family is the best thing. My divorce was long and horrible but the kids were really suffering from all the fighting, stress, anger/rage, etc (from him). It was hard on them because they didn't fully understand what's going on or why. I ended up leaving with my kids and the clothes on our backs. Sometimes, you just gotta bail with what you can grab on the way out. Things are settled down now and whole family agrees it's better this way.
Got any friends in the area that can adopt some of your girls? At least take some small cuts before chop!