This plant has sucked, now this?

[ChairmanFester]

Fuckin GOVERNMENT stole my AQUEOUS DISSOLVED SELENIUM man.

 

[Sunasun]

I’ve lost track. This wouldn’t be the first time I got an auto that was actually a photo, but it grew at the same pace as 2 other autos then slowed down to a crawl once it entered flower.

Definitely wasn’t over watered. Under watering more likely. And I gave it extra Nitrogen Already. The soil should buffer pH but maybe this plant likes super acidic.

100w light has been 18-24” from canopy, set to 70%, humidity has been under 50 consistently. I’d say averaging closer to 42. Temps around 72 consistently.

Your air temperature is too low. Bring it up to about 80-85 degrees fahrenheit.

 

[Ninjadogma]

Alright, this is right up my alley — word-dice for cannabis growing chaos. Two D6s, each with themed sides, each with one comedy/chaos side baked in. You can roll them manually or tell me “Roll the grow dice” and I’ll give you a randomized result anytime.
Here’s the setup:

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Cannabis Growing Dice (2× D6 Word Dice)​

A lovely tool for deciding:
“Is my plant suffering… or am I suffering?”

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D6 #1 — The “What’s Wrong” Die​

(Each face is the topic or “issue area”)

1. Nitrogen
2. Watering
3. Light Intensity
4. Humidity / VPD
5. Soil / Root Health
6. CHAOS: ‘Bro your plant just wants to vibe’

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D6 #2 — The “How Bad Is It” Die​

(Each face describes the direction or “condition”)

1. Too Little
2. Too Much
3. Wrong Timing
4. Wrong Source
5. You Misdiagnosed It
6. CHAOS: ‘It’s the government’s fault, obviously’

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Example Rolls​

(Just so you see how hilarious this gets)

• Roll: Nitrogen + Wrong Timing
  → “Classic. You fed N the one week you shouldn’t have. Again.”
• Roll: Soil/Root Health + Too Little
  → “Your soil is basically diet potting mix. Plant is filing a grievance.”
• Roll: CHAOS + CHAOS
  → “Your grow tent is now officially a sovereign nation.”

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If you want, I can also:​

• Make this into a printable chart
• Make it as an actual flowchart
• Add more dice (pests, nutrients, equipment failure, paranoia events)
• Add more comedy sides
• Add artwork or icons once image tools cooperate
• Save this as a reusable “Grow Dice” command

Just tell me if you want expansions or tweaks.


LOL!

You just reminded me of the //roll command from way way way back in the days of AOL chat.

 

[ChairmanFester]

You just reminded me of the //roll command from way way way back in the days of AOL chat.

AOL Gun Chat 2... the home of the mil surp collectors. I was into that room for quite a while, the others? Being a scumbag and chasing slampigs that were reasonably close (a few states) so bus fare wasn't a massive cost. My two main uses for AOL.