Wow... These are some honest testimonials for sure. Respect...
And it's a perfect example for one of the main reasons I still stick to cannabis after all these years: open-mindedness or whatever you wanna call it.
For me, smoking cannabis has long time been part of my social environment when I was a teen and even up to my mid-twenties. I was introduced to cannabis pretty early around the age of 16 when I started spending most of my free time riding boards or things with wheels that go fast. It was more a lifestyle than 'taking drugs'...
Skateboarding and snowboarding also have been life-changers to be honest. I met lots of open-minded people through extreme sports. Now, I don't know if I was lucky or not, but they were the good kind of people. They were people that were heavily connected to nature and they all had a certain sense of freedom, connectivity and maybe rebellion as well...ok.. Rebellion for sure.. To be honest: I needed that kind of thrill and overdrive sensation. That certain sensation that resulted in about 15 heavy fractures over the years. Broken arms, legs, elbows, rips,... It helped killing that pain too even if I'm kind of highly tolerant to physical pain by now... Lol. Short: I had a very relaxed introduction to MJ even if it was and still is illegal in our country. I didn't touch any drop of alcohol, nor cigarettes, nor anything else until I reached my 18 years. I was doing sports after all. Huh... Still not liking alcohol today if it isn't for a beer or two...
The result: minor but steady problems with local cops & family problems. I had turned from little angel to black sheep. No need for further details. You know that kind of story. Parents: Why do it, son? You're too smart to do drugs. Me: Why keep sucking my balls if I'm fine.... It didn't make things better. Talking about reasonably handling that substance. I got marginalized and it had its own effects on my psyche... That's when I started to get a certain 'fuckthesystem'-attitude. They didn't seem to understand my point of view anyways so why stick to their rules...
At 19, just having finished school, I started working straight ahead. That was the time I really started overdoing it. I smoked way too much, tried different things like cocaïne, mdma, lsd, magic mushrooms, speed, smoked heroïn once without knowing, tried salvia and got drunk very often, girls, party, fuckin' things up... life was like a freakin' rollercoaster and I loved it. NIN was on the loop. Just let loose and go up in flames while still managing your private life in a decent way. Better burn out than fade away said Kurgan... And I could do it because I was earning money. Was I happy at that time? Yeah... But my experience told me that I won't be needing any other drug than cannabis. Using MJ makes me feel more connected with lots of things like music, friends, art and nature while other drugs make feel like I'm disconnecting from reality, disconnecting from myself as well and I don't like that. I like digging deeper into my own self and I'm the kind of person who loves to read about lucid dreaming and so on... I was a natural in lucid dreaming when I was a kid until life kicked in. I lost interest. Today, contrary to what people say, cannabis helps me doing these things again, if used in small doses.
Here, I need to say, I think I do feel a bit like @rmoltis. Certain plants have always been part of our cultural and social environment. I always take ancient tribes as examples. They knew how to use them plants, like ayhuhasca for example, or peyote. They were simply gateways. Gateways to your inner self, provided by nature. There has to be a reason why these plants have been around us for so long and looking at these tribes, it was mostly very beneficial using them. They used it as medication too. To clean your body, to clean your mind. Introspective. Why is it, there's magic mushrooms painted in caves. Humanity has not become more stupid while using these substances in a ceratin way. Spirituality has lots to do with it. Antheogenic substances... Funny fact: i have the dmt molecule tattoed to my arm even if I never tried it and certainly will not be trying it but I do believe in energy and connectivity. They call it 'the spirit molecule'. Nuff said.
Then, around 28, my life started being fucked up. My job is a hell of a ride anyways. Unstable, uncertain, stressful and my private life has been suffering a lot. I lost lots of jobs because many of my former bosses went broke, closed their shops and I had several bosses that were simply fuckin' assholes and I need a lot to say such things. I have big dreams but I don't mind washing a toilet if it helps me on my road.
Around 32 I then burned out for good. I'm a very positive, energetic person who can take a lot of stress and pressure, always looking at the bright side and always seeing a light at the end of the tunnel but I just broke in two. I was a sunken ship deep at the bottom of the ocean. All hope was gone, broken dreams, broken relationships, financial problems... There was no future to think about. Everything I built up had just crumbeled to pieces. I got hospitalized for 2 weeks due to a severe depression, anxiety and burn out. They fed me some pink pills and it was like walking on clouds. Didn't like it coz I knew it was all pharma-chemistry with high risks of getting addicted. But they helped. I always kept in mind the broken pieces would fit back right in coz I watched them fall apart. Took some time to make them fit again but it worked.
So, after a year I stopped taking them pink pills. I was back on track and even if I still felt some after-shocks and tremors, I started my own business. Didn't make things easier neither but I had to take a decision.
Now again, I have lots of stress. My private life is reduced to a minimum, financial problems, economic factors that suck, lots of bills to pay, lots of work but not earning that much for all the energy I do invest. But damn, it's my dream and I'll stick to my guns.
To be honest: I'm using MJ to relax. I'm the indica type. Mentally I'm like Speedy Gonzales without it, overthinkin' stuff, getting stressed too much and thinkin' too much about things that can't be changed. And in the end I do think so much I don't think at all, like a merry go round. Smoking some weed in the evening chills me down and I get a different view on things. I also love to meditate and listen to music when stoned. It helps me in being creative as long as I don't overdue it. It helps me to sleep and switch off. It helps in feeling a certain connection to friends of mine and it helps me keeping my spirituality straight up.
I do pause from time to time, getting my tolerance back to 0 and I don't smoke much. I don't need it to relieve physical pain so I don't wanna get back to the point I could smoke 10 joints and still not feel any effects. This makes me dull anyways.
Smoking weed keeps me on the brighter side of life as long as I don't exagerate. It's like a glass of red wine in the evening.
So yes: it's each person's use and doseage that makes the poison. Word. Still noeone has ever died from it so I guess it's quite a funny poison *ggg*
Sry. Tried to keep it short but once I'm getting started... See, I believe that most of you are open-minded and I trust you without knowing you. Wouldn't give away such details if that wasn't the case. My post may be un-interesting but at least I know I won't get labeled in a bad way. Felt good to tell these things somehow. I usually do not talk about things like that.
Thanks!
