Kendo
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- May 10, 2009
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The psychology of the oft fickle opposite sex is something I have studied intently since I was a very young lad. Cursed with Mr Magoo eyesight I had to wear coke bottle glasses that were FOREVER held together with tape and wire, couple that with big fuckin ears and teeth knocked out from fighting… Real talk, I was a hot mess.
Well that did not stop me from having a hot crush on Sylvia Rodriguez or Diana Bradford and contrary to what my friends would always tell me, they were NOT outta my league. However, as hard as I would try I was always the Best friend/brother… Sound familiar?
With a lot of time on my hands I read a lot of comics and the back pages were full of ads for all sorts of stuff. One ad caught my eye, “how to date the single woman” It was $1 Shit man!,” I’d Buy that for a dollar” Waited at the mailbox like a crack fiend. A little clif note type booklet came.
An avid reader I could soak up a concept fast and figured out quickly that confidence or at least an air of such was first priority. I saw how quickly things changed between me and the opposite sex once I applied the simple concepts relayed by the author. I got a girlfriend pretty quickly. Was it Sylvia Rodriguez or Diana Bradford? No! I was not yet able to CHOOSE who I wanted, but being chosen by the opposite sex was something new and exciting. I ordered another one for a dollar, dating tips, written by a woman. LOL! Can’t go wrong with that.
Since that early age I have amassed a wealth of knowledge in regards to how to conduct oneself when meeting/dating/attracting the opposite sex. I will try to relay this knowledge here in hopes of helping some of my brothers in need.
So before we can even consider taking the first step to new found confidence lets start off with what I consider #1 in the list of Pre-dating essentials.
Lesson #1
Hygiene, I cannot stress just exactly how important a role Hygiene plays in meeting the opposite sex. First impressions will either kill your chances or open the door.
If you smell like an onion sandwich or your hair looks like you use jiffy lubes recycled oil as conditioner there is little chance you will hook up any time soon. Lets face it these types of FIRST impressions are tantamount.
Hate to burst your bubble but smelling like shit fondue is not manly. Your personal enjoyment of wafting in the lurid aroma of old onion does not include others. Recognize!!
Afroman says it best; You gotta wash your ass, if you must. You gotta brush your teeth, if you must.. You gotta wash your hair, if you must. Or else you'll be funkyyyyyyyy.
Take a shower, wash your ass, wash your hair, and brush your teeth. SERIOUSLY THOUGH!!!!, if you are not flashing wads of cash then a female will not even consider a funky onion sandwich ,swirly turd smelling, reekabilly as an option.
Get some razors, get some cologne, and get some speedstick. USE THEM DAILY. Observe how others do not give you a wide berth or back away whenever you open your mouth.
When you achieve this you will be ready for lesson #2
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