Bag Seed Hunting & The Lst Adventure

[EventHorizan]

The mind body and soul work together, if one breaks use the other two to heal repair rebuild.

I really like that!

 

[rmoltis]

Another milestone today.
My landlord has been avoiding my questions about breaking my lease for the past week. He insists on texting only but texts do not convey emotion.

So today I called his office many times until I got the lady receptionist. I started explaining my situation that I had to break my lease. Then she started giving me all the legal mumbo-jumbo of me having to find a new Resident and having to pay my last month's fee excetera excetera.

That's when I broke down and started explaining how horrible my situation was and how I'm trapped in this house that we built our marriage on that failed. And how I needed to get out I couldn't stay trapped inside this house any longer. That I didn't have the mindset or the energy to try to figure out any complex fix to get myself out.

I also conveyed the fact that we've been tenants here for 5 years plus without any problems at all or late rent. And then I wanted to end this all on very good terms with the landlord. She claimed that she could hear the pain in my voice and she would try her best to get a hold of the landlord and convey the situation.

Well immediately after she went and found the landlord he texted me right away asking when do I need out .

I told him that the end of June would be most ideal. That allows me 30 days notice to them. Without leaving during the season where it is hard for them to rent the property. So even though it is a month earlier then i expected. I can honestly say that I don't feel it is coming soon enough. It gives me enough time to pack up my house and make sure everything is clean. Allows me time to book a plane ticket for my friend to fly out to help me drive home. And also allows me enough time to at least drop my car off at my mechanic a couple of States over.

During phases like these the reality of my situation sinks in deeper. Giving me hard things to deal with. Makes it very difficult to hold it together but also very liberating that one of my chains tying me down was severed.

Once all my chains are broken i will have a chance to be free, go home and rise above this situation surrounded by people who love me.


So my plan is to be in Washington around the beginning of july. I honestly feel that it is not soon enough. But it is much closer than I anticipated. Time will be dragging from between now and then. I just need to continue to hold things together until I can get home.

My God these feelings of utter heartbreak are so terribly hard to move past while still living in this state. As soon as I can free myself from this state and this city I should be able to heal and move on.

I'm very sad that I have to leave my boss and my career in the good money I make in this big boom happening in the city. But right now I have to worry about myself and my own mental and emotional health so I can get back on track to living my life and being the positive optimistic person that I always was.

 

[rmoltis]

I am still very concerned about how my future relationships will be affected by this situation. I'm going to have trust issues after this. As well as I'm going to have very difficult time becoming vulnerable to new people.

She claims that the situation is devastating to her. but that it happened all at once. The way I see it she is ending a marriage for the start of a new relationship. Without giving her a Time by herself to figure herself out and become who she is after the fact before jumping into her new relationship. The person that got to know her got to know her for who she was with me and how she identified as herself with me. since there really is no break between these two relationships. She may just continue on into her new relationship as if ours never ended. Possibly leading her down other problems that may pop up later in her relationship.


The grass made definitely be greener on the other side right now. But there is also a very big chance that the cows shit on that grass too.

For all I know the person she is chosen could be the best thing in her life. But she may also find that she sacrificed a wonderful thing that we had together. And i was 100% set on being willing to repair to become a wonderful husband and everything that she needed in life.

And there may come a time where she regrets leaving me for him.

The grass always seems greener in the beginning. When there is the fresh Euphoria of a new love then each partner is willing to do whatever the other one wants completely.

But once this phase Fades away and real life settles in. She will know for sure if this is the person that was correct for her. I really hope for her sake that she has made a wise decision. But in my own sick and twisted way I hope she finds out the hard way that giving into temptation does not solve these problems. In fact they're still a real possibility that it may only make things worse.

I know that I told her in the future that I would take her back without hesitation. And I must say that there will always be an open place in my heart for her. But the farther I remove myself from the situation. The less likely I am for this situation to occur.

If she comes back in the future and admits to me that she has made a mistake. I would have to sit down and have a very long talk with her about what her plans are and what her plans would be if we got back together. And if it ever seemed serious enough I would do my best to not be so blind to her needs so that in our theoretical Second Chance in life. It would be the last chance that we needed to succeed.

I really do not know what the universe holds in store for me. But I have also talked to many personal friends in life that have gone through divorce and lived Separate Lives just to be reunited later in life with a relationship that was stronger than it ever was. And I know in my heart If This Were Ever to happen to us this would be the case. I just only wish that I had gotten my final chance before the divorce so that I could have made it happen a little bit sooner.


But the flip side to this situation is. That I may find a new person that I love even more. And there's always a chance that my next person maybe the one that I am truly meant to be with. There is no way of knowing what the future may hold in store for me. So all this daydreaming about what may and may not happen is just that daydreaming. I know that I have to move on with my life and not live on hopes and dreams that we may reunite. Because that would just be unrealistic. I have to continue moving forward with my life with or without her. Even though it may seem so difficult


It only seems difficult because I am all alone out here

 

[whitebob]

I am still very concerned about how my future relationships will be affected by this situation. I'm going to have trust issues after this. As well as I'm going to have very difficult time becoming vulnerable to new people.

She claims that the situation is devastating to her. but that it happened all at once. The way I see it she is ending a marriage for the start of a new relationship. Without giving her a Time by herself to figure herself out and become who she is after the fact before jumping into her new relationship. The person that got to know her got to know her for who she was with me and how she identified as herself with me. since there really is no break between these two relationships. She may just continue on into her new relationship as if ours never ended. Possibly leading her down other problems that may pop up later in her relationship.


The grass made definitely be greener on the other side right now. But there is also a very big chance that the cows shit on that grass too.

For all I know the person she is chosen could be the best thing in her life. But she may also find that she sacrificed a wonderful thing that we had together. And i was 100% set on being willing to repair to become a wonderful husband and everything that she needed in life.

And there may come a time where she regrets leaving me for him.

The grass always seems greener in the beginning. When there is the fresh Euphoria of a new love then each partner is willing to do whatever the other one wants completely.

But once this phase Fades away and real life settles in. She will know for sure if this is the person that was correct for her. I really hope for her sake that she has made a wise decision. But in my own sick and twisted way I hope she finds out the hard way that giving into temptation does not solve these problems. In fact they're still a real possibility that it may only make things worse.

I know that I told her in the future that I would take her back without hesitation. And I must say that there will always be an open place in my heart for her. But the farther I remove myself from the situation. The less likely I am for this situation to occur.

If she comes back in the future and admits to me that she has made a mistake and that she has been naive to the situation. I would have to sit down and have a very long talk with her about what her plans are and what her plans would be if we got back together. And if it ever seemed serious enough I would do my best to not be so blind to her needs so that in our theoretical Second Chance in life. It would be the last chance that we needed to succeed.

I really do not know what the universe holds in store for me. But I have also talked to many personal friends in life that have gone through divorce and lived Separate Lives just to be reunited later in life with a relationship that was stronger than it ever was. And I know in my heart If This Were Ever to happen to us this would be the case. I just only wish that I had gotten my final chance before the divorce so that I could have made it happen a little bit sooner.


But the flip side to this situation is. That I may find a new person that I love even more. And there's always a chance that my next person maybe the one that I am truly meant to be with. There is no way of knowing what the future may hold in store for me. So all this daydreaming about what may and may not happen is just that daydreaming. I know that I have to move on with my life and not live on hopes and dreams that we may reunite. Because that would just be unrealistic. I have to continue moving forward with my life with or without her. Even though it may seem so difficult


It only seems difficult because I am all alone out here

were all here bud with open ears, i used to write stuff down in a journal and that really helped. when reading back over things you've written, it can clarify in your minds eye what direction you need to move to accomplish that happy state of well being.. it also helps it stop swirling around over and over in your head.. a bit like using the paper as an external hard rive whilst you process the excess information and emotions that you must be feeling... big hug dude

 

[Farmer P]

Brother, I sure hope you get as lucky as me. My 2nd wife is 1000x better. For some reason I get the feeling it's going to be the same for you. You're thinking along the same lines I did at first. Try not to dwell on it too much if it gets too sad. She probably will realize she screwed up big time and by then you will have another relationship. It's tragic, but it seems all too common. Better things are in store!

 

[rmoltis]

Brother, I sure hope you get as lucky as me. My 2nd wife is 1000x better. For some reason I get the feeling it's going to be the same for you. You're thinking along the same lines I did at first. Try not to dwell on it too much if it gets too sad. She probably will realize she screwed up big time and by then you will have another relationship. It's tragic, but it seems all too common. Better things are in store!

I am really hoping so. Living in the moment right now it doesn't feel that way. But maybe once I get back around friends and family and Washington things will get better.

I looked up the cost of living in Seattle and man has gone up quite considerably since I left. It is now the 9th most expensive place to live in America. I'm kind of scared to move back LOL

Pittsburgh I make $28hr but only pay $535 rent. Sure makes it easy to live on my own out here. I will be sad when I go and leave this liveable city behind. I could stay here by myself for years and just stash money away but I'll be alone with no happiness

 

[Farmer P]

It would be nice to find a job there before you move. Keep checking.

 

[EventHorizan]

Seen this?

 

[EventHorizan]

or this?

http://www.phylosbioscience.com/rapid-cannabis-sexing/

 

[Broken]

Seen this?

or this?

http://www.phylosbioscience.com/rapid-cannabis-sexing/

Pretty cool test if the work, but for most people its not going to be anything they will use themselves. The closest this will come to helping the average Joe is maybe getting the strain you ask for. I still don't understand the need for sexing unless you find the strain you believe you want forever. Otherwise just buy Fems.

 

[EventHorizan]

Pretty cool test if the work, but for most people its not going to be anything they will use themselves. The closest this will come to helping the average Joe is maybe getting the strain you ask for. I still don't understand the need for sexing unless you find the strain you believe you want forever. Otherwise just buy Fems.

Fems have a serious chance to herm at some point in the genetics from what I read.. Its better to just find your girl and mother her out...

 

[GrowGod]

Another milestone today.
My landlord has been avoiding my questions about breaking my lease for the past week. He insists on texting only but texts do not convey emotion.

So today I called his office many times until I got the lady receptionist. I started explaining my situation that I had to break my lease. Then she started giving me all the legal mumbo-jumbo of me having to find a new Resident and having to pay my last month's fee excetera excetera.

That's when I broke down and started explaining how horrible my situation was and how I'm trapped in this house that we built our marriage on that failed. And how I needed to get out I couldn't stay trapped inside this house any longer. That I didn't have the mindset or the energy to try to figure out any complex fix to get myself out.

I also conveyed the fact that we've been tenants here for 5 years plus without any problems at all or late rent. And then I wanted to end this all on very good terms with the landlord. She claimed that she could hear the pain in my voice and she would try her best to get a hold of the landlord and convey the situation.

Well immediately after she went and found the landlord he texted me right away asking when do I need out .

I told him that the end of June would be most ideal. That allows me 30 days notice to them. Without leaving during the season where it is hard for them to rent the property. So even though it is a month earlier then i expected. I can honestly say that I don't feel it is coming soon enough. It gives me enough time to pack up my house and make sure everything is clean. Allows me time to book a plane ticket for my friend to fly out to help me drive home. And also allows me enough time to at least drop my car off at my mechanic a couple of States over.

During phases like these the reality of my situation sinks in deeper. Giving me hard things to deal with. Makes it very difficult to hold it together but also very liberating that one of my chains tying me down was severed.

Once all my chains are broken i will have a chance to be free, go home and rise above this situation surrounded by people who love me.


So my plan is to be in Washington around the beginning of july. I honestly feel that it is not soon enough. But it is much closer than I anticipated. Time will be dragging from between now and then. I just need to continue to hold things together until I can get home.

My God these feelings of utter heartbreak are so terribly hard to move past while still living in this state. As soon as I can free myself from this state and this city I should be able to heal and move on.

I'm very sad that I have to leave my boss and my career in the good money I make in this big boom happening in the city. But right now I have to worry about myself and my own mental and emotional health so I can get back on track to living my life and being the positive optimistic person that I always was.

Dude, not trying to be a dick but your running from your problems. It doesn't work I've tried it. I'm a do it yourself kind of guy, I don't understand why you need to move for support and love when you could easily have this settled in a week or two.
Sit in a quite dark room with just a candle lit, and listen to your self breathe. All your emotions will come up and you will cry but you will be back to normal in no time.

 

[rmoltis]

Dude, not trying to be a dick but your running from your problems. It doesn't work I've tried it. I'm a do it yourself kind of guy, I don't understand why you need to move for support and love when you could easily have this settled in a week or two.
Sit in a quite dark room with just a candle lit, and listen to your self breathe. All your emotions will come up and you will cry but you will be back to normal in no time.

I'm not running from my problems.
I am going where I am not isolated and alone.

The problems will follow me until they are gone. Because they are in my head and heart. But with loved ones surrounding me i can move past this faster.

Not to mention our plan the past 5 years was to always move back to Washington. I am just following my plan, only without her.

I am still mulling over the idea of staying.
But this whole situation is hell.

I have 30 days to decide before the lease is broken.

 

[rmoltis]

I called my old medical marijuana authorization doctor in Washington.

He said as soon as I move back I can come in and get a renewal. Then I will be legal again !!!

 

[rmoltis]

Today was an ok day.

Getting the news that i will be able to grow 6 plants up to 15 once I move home, Is great.

It made my future outlook a little brighter.

 

[Farmer P]

I called my old medical marijuana authorization doctor in Washington.

He said as soon as I move back I can come in and get a renewal. Then I will be legal again !!!

Isn't everybody legal in Washington? It's a recreational state right? I don't think you need a medical recommendation.

 

[rmoltis]

Isn't everybody legal in Washington? It's a recreational state right? I don't think you need a medical recommendation.

Whether or not they are, medical is exempt from usage tax

has larger possession limits, plant counts etc.

Access to higher thc content products.

Ability to join cooperatives if you can't grow.

It's got certain bonuses.

 

[incogneato]

Whether or not they are, medical is exempt from usage tax

has larger possession limits, plant counts etc.

Access to higher thc content products.

Ability to join cooperatives if you can't grow.

It's got certain bonuses.

So we may see that vault open if you go back home? You know where my vote is at lol. Honestly though its always sounded as if you were going back at some point. It sounds like a good idea bro. Its good to be surrounded by love instead of isolated.

 

[rmoltis]

So we may see that vault open if you go back home? You know where my vote is at lol. Honestly though its always sounded as if you were going back at some point. It sounds like a good idea bro. Its good to be surrounded by love instead of isolated.

The goal was always going home to washington.

Just now I'll be coming back by myself.

Yes you will see the vault open.

Either that or you will see even bigger beasts lol.

 

[incogneato]

The goal was always going home to washington.

Just now I'll be coming back by myself.

Yes you will see the vault open.

Either that or you will see even bigger beasts lol.

I know, ive seen you mention that more than once in your thread. I think it will be an easier transition for you at home. Only one thing brought you to where you are now and that's gone so I think its only logical to go back.