Curmudgeonland...home Of The Old Farts Club

  • Thread starter yooper420
  • Start date
  • Tagged users None
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mendel

2,038
263
Happy Birthday Evicted Bitch Funny Drunk Baby Meme
 
Hippie

Hippie

2,276
263
Yard dog said:
i thought of something on the way home yesterday when i passed a garbage truck picking up curbside. I remember being young and seeing the guys hang off the back of the truck and i could not believe they could just stand there and not choke on the foul stench. now i work on them and the smell does not bother me. i will eat lunch beside a over ripe august sun baked maggot wagon and not skip a beat. i have been desensitized. lol
Click to expand...
Only worked one job where the smell bothered me. We did an addition to the now defunked Brown's Funeral home. Something about the smell of formaldehyde fucks my belly up for eating. It's suck a sickening sweet smell, and it sticks with ya. Clothes, hair, beard, everything smelled like it. Couldn't eat 'til I took a hot shower and got the stench off of me.
 
M

mendel

2,038
263
Once upon a time I worked on a pig farm. The main line from the barns to the lagoon had a barrel on it to keep the line out of the sludge. The barrel flipped over and held up the line so it wouldnt drain. I waded out into the lagoon titty deep in pig shit to flip the barrel. I quit the next day, but smelled like pig shit for 2 weeks.
 
LocalGrowGuy

LocalGrowGuy

2,497
263
mendel said:
Well, it rained almost 0%, I ran out in my underwear (its great not having neighbors) and the rain gauge was just damp. I dunno boys, we might be screwed. East of us they recieved about .3, if the internet is to be believed. Weve forecast to have more rain, but I aint buying it til its hitting me in the face. It looks like goldnboy might have gotten more than we did here.

Glad to hear you got a good nites sleep hippie. its nice to recharge the batteries. I have been messing around with my sleep patterns. I have found I have the most vivid dreams if I go to bed around 10, sleep til 6, get up for an hour or so, then go back to bed for a few more hours. Those few hours are the best sleep, and most vivid dream period I have by a long shot.
Click to expand...
Mendel I need your expert opinion for this city boy.

Family ranches and farms in southwestern Nebraska, sandhills mostly. We go out every Memorial Day, last year one of the family got a bit of a late start, and had about 50 calves that needed vaccinated, castrated, and branded. Dad's calves got branded right shoulder, son's calves got branded on the left. We were asked if we wanted to go watch and since there is that much to do in rural Nebraska, we went. My apologies if my terms are off. These guys work for an hour, drink for 15 minutes, work another hour, sunrise to sunset.

When we got there they had just separated the calves so the moms were going ape shit. The calves were on one side of the enclosure, two 'teams' that were roping calves, bringing them back. They'd check the tag to see whose it was, and that determined which side they went down on. Once down, there was a header and a footer holding the calf while it was given two vaccines, branded, and castrated. I was able to help with the vaccines, which was plenty more than I had planned on helping with, then they said it was time to help with the calves. There was a guy walking around with a knife and a 'nut bucket'. The dogs were on his heels.

I was a footer. When they roped the calf and brought it back, I had to push it down one side or the other first. Because city slickers, they thought it would be best (for them) if they had me pop my cherry on a bigger one. I almost chris farley'd myself into a cow pie. Once it was down I had to sit on my ass, facing its rear. It was laying on its right side. My left hand was holding its left leg, my left foot was holding down it's right leg, my right hand was holding the tail, and they told me that I had to use my free right foot to block the b-hole of the calf, to prevent an explosive blowout. I had to put my foot over it and push as hard as I could. I didn't have any interest in seeing that, and my foot became a butt plug. I managed to not shit myself or get shit on, but I think the giggles got louder. At one point during a beer break, they took a used, shit encrusted branding iron, still hot, and took some testes and seared them on the shit covered iron, and ate them. I threw up a little in my mouth.

They said I did a good job, which tells me that the whole blowout prevention was more of a ruse than a thing. I'm quite certain I looked like an idiot, and I am okay with that. On a scale of one to city slicker, how much of a moron was I? Eight, or eleventy brazilian?
 
M

mendel

2,038
263
I think you did fine. The foot over the asshole is infact a preferred technique to keep the calf from shitting up your leg. Also cow shit is sterile when its on a hot iron, and nuts roasted on a redhot shit crusted iron taste good. I do however prefer them skinned and breaded and fried in the kitchen, more depth of flavor.
 
LocalGrowGuy

LocalGrowGuy

2,497
263
mendel said:
I think you did fine. The foot over the asshole is infact a preferred technique to keep the calf from shitting up your leg. Also cow shit is sterile when its on a hot iron, and nuts roasted on a redhot shit crusted iron taste good. I do however prefer them skinned and breaded and fried in the kitchen, more depth of flavor.
Click to expand...
I knew I was way out of my league when the kid next to me was obviously experienced, and he looked it. I thought he was 20 or 21 but no, 14. Shit.

I tried my rocky mountain oysters at the buckhorn, I was good on the field prepped ones but I'll take your word for it, other than the burnt hair they smelled fine. When I was little and we'd bring home bags of panfish to fry, I would always eat the tails because I thought they tasted like potato chips. That's probably where the lead chips collected.

LittleDabbie said:
Vape mail here again!!!!!!!!! :D

View attachment 683126
Click to expand...
DANGER DANGER HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE THE DRIPPERS ARE COMING
http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/06/health/dripping-e-cigarettes-teens-study/index.html
 
M

mendel

2,038
263
So like a proper doper im sprouting seed for lite dep and outdoor this year. Just went to check em, and a pack of 30 ak47 x princess diesel, that are over 10 years old, are up and running 19 of 30 so far.

'merica fuck yea!

Also the wife just informed me theres a snake in the bathroom, looks to be a racer. the boys are hot on its tail. I have snakes under my house,, and just did some dirt work, now theyre trapped and cant get out.
 
Yard dog

Yard dog

713
243
I had two snakes get loose in my house growing up. one was a small eastern rat snake, we never found it. the other was a 5 foot eastern banded king snake. he got loose twice, found him both times curled up behind the computer where the cooling fan dumped out its hot air. I took a beautiful corn snake to school once when i was 17. scared most of my teachers with it, i was taking it to each class in a cage. i bet my teachers remember me. i bet they are scared, hoping each new year that they don't see a youngin' with my last name on their roster..
 
yooper420

yooper420

Curmudgeonlander
Supporter
3,726
263
When I lived in Florida, we had black snakes around the house. The locals told me that as long as you had black snakes around there would not be rattle snakes around as the black snakes would eat the small rattlers. One time the wife came in and said that the dryer quit working. I go to see and pull it out from the wall. In doing so, I find the problem. The exhaust vent fell off and one dumb black snake had crawled up the vent and got it`s head crushed when the dryer tried to turn. Problem solved, cheap too.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Top Bottom