Any Bipolar folks?

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Buddy Flowers

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"I am so glad I found this thread, i always think I am alone in this struggle. I will say this though, I feel that people that have these conditions are usually very intelligent, analytical, deep thinking individuals.....I am the exception to that rule though...lol "

no you're not. big ups click. :harvest:
 
mittenmedgrow

mittenmedgrow

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Im taking seroquel and love it. I tried a lot of diff. pills over the years and seroquel is the only one I liked. Weed doesnt do it for me I actually think it makes my bipolar episodes worse. I think true bipolars need meds. How many of you can stay awake for 3-4 days without drugs and not feel tired or be able to sleep.
 
true grit

true grit

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Hopefully this thread has helped some folks, glad to see it got going again!!

I got a multitude of health problems and shit leaves you stressing man truegritt, I have had the same thing in the past, getting pissed off over things that havnt happened and probably never will. I took a couple meds in the past but some of the side effects of these new pills freak me out.
Sending love to everyone in this thread, hope everyone has a great 2011

Yeah bro, when im manic my delusions of grandeur are absolutely rampant. lol. And that does not always mean pleasant. Its very odd trying to calm down from something that is about 10 steps away from coming close to ever happening. That and being very very spiteful/vengeful/unforgiving when up up. Thats when its time for the heavy kush blunts!

I don't feel weed really gets me out of the thoughts & lethargy & lack of will & apathy & funk and/or haze that sometimes overcomes me. There are literally times where I can stare at a blank tv screen and have several hours pass by and still wish to do nothing... perhaps be nothing.

I've can see the tendencies & patterns in my life... and really, though they are always within me & present... the circumstances that I am involved in... often perceived as 'happening to me'... kinda determine how bad I am. The worse the stressors, the worse my psychological state... the worse my attitudes & behaviors... and so goes the spiral... esp if things stay or keep getting worse.

Agreed for sure. When im down, weed does nothing for me, not even sati's really. frankly i lose the motivation to smoke period. And yes staring off into nothing for hours...no fun. But you are most definitely right, identifying stressors is the big one. Ive basically had to come to the conclusion that the stress of having a girlfriend is not something that i deal with very well if i want a balanced life. that and some friends. sadly a lot of relationships have changed for me in the last couple years. oh well, at least im staying sane. ha.

"I am so glad I found this thread, i always think I am alone in this struggle. I will say this though, I feel that people that have these conditions are usually very intelligent, analytical, deep thinking individuals.....I am the exception to that rule though...lol "

no you're not. big ups click. :harvest:

Word, Click you had some hella in depth info to share my friend...

Im taking seroquel and love it. I tried a lot of diff. pills over the years and seroquel is the only one I liked. Weed doesnt do it for me I actually think it makes my bipolar episodes worse. I think true bipolars need meds. How many of you can stay awake for 3-4 days without drugs and not feel tired or be able to sleep.

Havent tried seroquel except to sleep in the past and it put me outta commission for a bit too long. lol. Think it really depends on your surrounding as to whether to need meds. Stayin up for days- no problem if my mind is racing. But ive knocked out a lot of stressors of late and havent had many episodes like that...thankfully.



Do have to say, some of the most clear and balanced, motivated times in my life are the following days/week after taking psychedelics. I am firm believer that these "psychedelic drugs" can be very beneficial to humans. lsd fits the brain like a puzzle piece, even mdma is being used in conventional psychotherapy of bipolars and people with mental conditions as a tool of focus and openmindedness...hopefully times will change and science will overcome propaganda and some truly remarkable break throughs can happen for the psyche. I have a feeling with us only using less than 10% of our brain, there is great potential to use some of these drugs correctly and "reset" our brains. think its more possible then folks realize...
 
M

MediMary

997
28
I gota agree with you on the psychedelics, hey truegritt you ever tried these?
http://www.azarius.net/smartshop/shrooms/mushroom_growing/philosophers_stones/
''The active component in the sclerotia is psilocybin, a tryptamine that is chemically similar to the human neurotransmitter DMT (dimethyltryptamine).
They are wayyyy coool, put me in the zone more than anything ever has.''
lsd would be second, shrooms end up being spiritual or fun, the spiritual trips put me back to normal. the fun ones don't seem do to shit for my mental health, they are just fun shit.
 
B

Buddy Flowers

Guest
TG- yes, psychedelics can be helpful for people but it can easily go the other way too. I've seen kids with bi-polar tendencies get flipped over and turned inside out from strong doses at shows , never to be the same again. But yes,with a controlled dose and combined with cognitive therapy, i do agree they could be helpful to some ppl.
 
Seamaiden

Seamaiden

Living dead girl
23,596
638
Im taking seroquel and love it. I tried a lot of diff. pills over the years and seroquel is the only one I liked. Weed doesnt do it for me I actually think it makes my bipolar episodes worse. I think true bipolars need meds. How many of you can stay awake for 3-4 days without drugs and not feel tired or be able to sleep.
You've just described one of my sisters, she pretty much cannot function without Zoloft. Weed helps more, in conjunction, though when she was trying to get pregnant she had to drop the Zoloft and go on weed completely--it barely helped, she was pretty crazy during that time. She also has concurrent diagnoses of OCD with some clinical depressive tendencies.

My father would probably seriously benefit from remaining on a medication program as he's done very well when he's been on them. But, as a doctor he knows everything under the sun there is to know and he knows he doesn't need those drugs, he's just fine. How typical.

You ever read any of Vilayanur Ramachandran's work? Olive Stone M.D.? Brain researchers. Ramachandran's work has little to do with bipolar disorder, but his research into phantom limb syndrome and other brain abnormalities is fascinating.
 
4

420king-MASSES

1,504
48
to tell you the truth sounds like we had similar childhoods[my dad just never came home yet still came home]ive dealt with same issuesbut ive tried to find a pattern and for me it was in the fall midsept-november im just sad and in the winter i wanna sit and contemplate[def not suicidal] life questions in spring and summer im all jipper skipper but spring timei slowly come out of my mental fubar so ive been able to seea seasonal change with my moods also ive found how to deal with said issues--honestly i eat perks and it puts me in a good mood 24/7-365 makes me wanna go do whatever is happening at the moment i love my mmj and have also found that silver bubble always helped eleviate my downer moods and just found silver haze to be a mentally stimulating and body lifting strain i hope that helps you brother
 
true grit

true grit

6,269
313
I gota agree with you on the psychedelics, hey truegritt you ever tried these?
http://www.azarius.net/smartshop/shrooms/mushroom_growing/philosophers_stones/
''The active component in the sclerotia is psilocybin, a tryptamine that is chemically similar to the human neurotransmitter DMT (dimethyltryptamine).
They are wayyyy coool, put me in the zone more than anything ever has.''
lsd would be second, shrooms end up being spiritual or fun, the spiritual trips put me back to normal. the fun ones don't seem do to shit for my mental health, they are just fun shit.

Very interesting, never seen that one. I personally have never tried DMT either, kinda seems like a faster recreational thing like salvia (which imo did help some btw).
but i do agree, some things produce fun trips and the others can genuinely help. LSD is starting to be used again in treatment for OCD and addiction, as well as studies for euphoria for the sanity of humans...should be interesting.

TG- yes, psychedelics can be helpful for people but it can easily go the other way too. I've seen kids with bi-polar tendencies get flipped over and turned inside out from strong doses at shows , never to be the same again. But yes,with a controlled dose and combined with cognitive therapy, i do agree they could be helpful to some ppl.

Indeed, but i think more so those has to do with the effects of what LSD does to you. Thats how it works best in treatment for addictions, ocd, etc...it forces your brain to cognitively bring up trauma, problems, and issues for your mind to evaluate and hopefully get past. Often for people with mental disorders and/or without supervision, this can lead too trips that bring up mental issues that often can not be handled if the person isn't ready for it or doesn't have the help around them to deal with real issues in the brain they may face. I'm a firm believer in the fact that acid does NOT make people crazy, folks who shouldn't take it, often do and end up dealing with thing they really can't. Not the person's or the drugs fault, just the situation and how it affects the brain.


.... and just found silver haze to be a mentally stimulating and body lifting strain i hope that helps you brother

Yeah brother we are thinking bout doing a SSH run for that reason, some patients need a good reliable and uplifting haze. i really think the ssh has been most consistent to me for that.
 
RIVAL79

RIVAL79

Funk Master!
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Hey true grit! I'm glad i stumbled into this post. I have been dealing with the same thing my whole life. It seems like alot of have had this problem for years without wanting to take pills. I always took xanax and i would be a zombie. No control on my pill intake. Mmj always helped me remain calm and focused. I was always very smart but in trouble at school for emotional problems. It seemed like they couldn't keep me busy enough at school. Even with sports and after school programs. We all speak of ocd and i'm sure that's what makes us good growers. Attention to detail. I've always been passionate about everything i do. From skateboarding to djing to graf to smoking kind nugs. Having hobbies is probably the only thing that's kept me sane all these years. It seems like herb has always been a part of me. I know how u feel on certain strains being to much of an upper or downer. Og is the only strain, i feel i can function with day to day life. I'm always smoking dif strains to find the holy grail of herb. I'm gonna do some Deadhead OG x's and hopefuly i find it. LSD and Ecstasy was my escape when i was younger but it drew up to many mental breakdowns for me. Damn rave paties! lol Sorry to rant and rave. I just wanted to let u know we r here 4 each other. That's why i'm here on the farm. People do care. Keep ur head up alway bro!
 
mittenmedgrow

mittenmedgrow

3,546
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I srarted having problems young. On ritalin in 2nd grade. By yhe time I hit sixth grade I was smoking weed and cigs. daily. I was in the G.A.T.E. classes gifted and talented education I.Q. tested just shy of genius. Won the D.A.R.E. achievement award in sixth grade. Did an anti drug speech in front of my school stoned. When I was 15 got sent to inpatient rehab for coke and meth. 105 days later my mom let me come home. I was seeing a shrink and put on diff. meds. Six months later back on the weed. Didnt touch hard drugs again for yrs. Never had a problem with addiction since rehab. Just weed. Went through about five doctors and lots of bi polar adhd meds and gave up after a couple yrs. As I got older it was easier to control my outbursts of anger but I still cant focus. It took losing my wife of ten years not be able to see my kids for me to realize I needed serious help. I got lucky found a shrink I liked. He told me to keep smoking the weed but take these pills and come and talk to me next week. He gave me seroquel on a ramp up dosing. It made me tired and I didnt really like it. I went back the next week told the doc. I didnt really like it, he said give it a few weeks. I did walking zombie effect gradually went away I was left feeling in control of myself for the first time in my life. I still cant focus for shit but I have much better control of my emotions. Most importantly no outbursts of rage. No more road rage, no uncontrollable urges to hurt people. I never realized how angry of a person I was. My quality of life has improved drastically. I still only sleep four hours a day. And my mind still races Im just in better control. I also did hallucinogens for a few years . Ate a ton of acid and shrooms. Now I dabble with the shrooms here and there but no more hard trips for me.
 
TortureKill

TortureKill

1,091
83
I posted earlier in this thread, but didnt have much time to contribute anything worthwhile. I think this is a very important topic and I want to drop a few lines here. Props for firing this one up Grit.

Like I posted the other day, My father struggles with a few different ailments, and I found out early in life the Medical benefits of this plant. I started growing at a young age to supply my father with his meds. Apart from the Physical conditions he suffers from, he also deals with Manic Depression, Bi-polar, and Alcoholism. They say many mental disorders are hereditary and I fear that I may have, or may eventually deal with many of these ailments myself. I have been self medicating for many years and Ive never had a real evaluation.. Thats a whole nother story in itself, but lets get back to my Father.

Ive been in search of the perfect meds for years. Ive found its very easy to start with a landrace or other pure strain, and experiment with many different pure lines, and find what works best there. Everybody is different and different meds may affect different people, Differently.. When you start messing with hybrids, and poly hybrids, there are many different chemicals that come into play. You also have to consider each phenotype is different and each may have its own effecting properties. Ive found it easier to work from pure lines, and then go from there. Once the best strain for that certain condition is found (base strain), only then should you begin breeding in hybrids and different pure lines to experiment and ultimately find that perfect medicine.


We've found a couple lines that have been preserved in their pure form, for years, to be our ultimate Base strains. One is the Chiskei. A 50-55 day pure African landrace Sativa. This is unlike any other Sativa Ive grown or smoked in all of my years. Its a fast maturing Sativa, which initself is very rare to find. The high is very uplifting and clear headed. We've found it to be very equalizing in effect. If your mood is way high, above the normal plane, or down low, below the average plane, it picks you up just above the average head, and slowly soothes you back to the normal plane. Its not overpowering, or mind racing, heart pounding weed. The buzz from this weed will lift your spirits, and clear the fog and clutter from your mind. It really allows you to put things in a whole nother perspective. Things that may have been weighing on your conscience are now put in a whole new light. Your able to clear the mess and really focus on the whole picture. Allowing you to come to terms with the demons you may be battling and to come up with a solution for your troubles. This I call "AHA", or "Eureka" weed. After it wears off your not left in muddle, you are feeling level and clear headed, with a whole new perspective. Its like traveling outside of your body, and looking down on yourself from another perspective. All of the anxieties are put on pause, and you have this moment to get rid of the trash. Its unlike anything Ive ever smoked and Is ranked in a category of its own. It not only lifts your spirits but your body and soul are left feeling refreshed. This is the best I can do describing the buzz in my own terms, its really something you have to experience to really grasp. Its a very unique plant, and I will forever have it in my garden. I was blessed with a handful of these seeds from the breeder himself. I will continue to grow and work with this strain probably forever. This plant is very special, and it deserves a spot in every smokers stash spot. I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. The medical properties of this strain are in a class of their own.

We've also found a pure Afghan sativa to be very effective in uplifting our spirits. The smoke is a bit more powerful than the chiskei, and in a different league. As far as ranking sativa vs sativa, its just not the same. Weve been experimenting with many hybrids of this Afghan, and see a bright future in this line.

Another thing with Pure lines is they breed in chunks. Certain traits are always passed and inherited together. This isnt always true when working with hybrids. A lot more guess work goes into working with lines that arent pure. I think its very important that we have a group of ppl preserving and offering these pure lines to the public, and I think these strains are often overlooked as being inferior, or not as potent. When the truth is all of these strains we grow and love today, The Chems, OG's, Fires, Diesels..ALL of them came from these pure lines. So dont limit yourself to the latest strains. Find some pure lines and start experimenting. Find what works for you.

A lot of ppl tell me that smoking only amplifies there conditions, and increases their anxieties. I always tell them, They're not smoking or havent found the right strain than. All lines are different.

I feel very blessed to have been able to grow and sample these different strains, I now feel obligated to pass these experiences, and genetics on. Thats what this is really about. Its not about what name brings in the most amount of cash from an auction or what strain is most hyped or in the highest demand. Its about making the BEST medicine available to the ppl that need it, and keeping these lines around for the next generation to grow and work with.

I wish everyone the best of luck finding that equal balance, and the safest trip on this giant rock, and journey we call life.
 
jeffadies

jeffadies

Garden of Dreams Seed Co
1,312
113
I have recently been spiraling out of control with the depression and lack of motivation and energy. My family and friends and woman are all very worried. I feel like i cant do anything right on most days. My father committed suicide on my 16th birthday and it changed me for the worse. Im sure im Bipolar and probably have some PTSD from that incident. I feel very much the same about the pills they throw at me..and i dont like talking to some prick who just asks me "and how do you feel about that?" then jots something down in his book and writes me a scrip. Ive taken all their pills and nothing has changed. Im still angry,sad,depressed,etc..

Im not real comfortable talking about this stuff but if i can help myself and if we can come up with some alternatives to this ailment then im down.

For me so far the only thing that seems to help is to smoke.. now the only thing that really puts me in a somewhat happy mood is Durban Poison..Other strains seem to get me by but nothing yet makes me happy. But I think there is something to the african sativa that seems to just work.

Im sorry i dont have more to contribute. I feel for anyone else who is suffering from this.
 
O

organikn8

67
8
Thought I was the only one with these thoughts and emotions , Thanks for sharing everyone I dont feel so alone now .

As for taking pills they can help , but ive been on so many anti depressant and anxiety meds that ive stopped counting , your body definetely goes through withdrawl when you stop and sometimes this is very very difficult , and Ive realized I cant go through anymore withdrawls its simply not worth it .

That being said I find that even posting on this thread is very beneficial as it makes me realize im not alone and it feels good to get stuff outta my head and on paper .

Thanks for recommending OG sounds like a good place to start.

Keep strong everyone and keep sharing
 
T

Troy

1
0
I'm bipolar too, I haven't really tested cannibis and it's effects on my "disorder" but off the bat I would say that sativa's would compliment a depressive episode and Indica's would compliment a Manic?

One time when I was younger, I was having a pretty severe manic episode and smoked a bowl of Green Crack (high sativa) which landed me in the mental hospital, It took my manic episode and made it just 100x worse.

This is the reason that I only stick to Indica these days, well not only but mainly.
 
P

Piel

8
1
Bipolar type II, got my dg a few months ago and it goes well with my OCD...oh well, too each his own I guess ;)

I´m now on Essiltalopram 10mg a day, Lamictal 300mg a day, Xanax 0.5 mg three times a day and Quetiapine 25-100mg daily as needed.

BUT do to chronic pain I also use Lyrica 150mgx2.

Weed mellows me out a bit but I don´t see it as a med for bipo but it does wonders for my chronic pain!

My manic days are (almost) over, got a lot done during those periods but age is taking it´s toll and making it harder to recuperate from over activity. No more buying things I have to regret, making trips off the top of my head etc etc.

But good things too.
 
P

Piel

8
1
I srarted having problems young. On ritalin in 2nd grade. By yhe time I hit sixth grade I was smoking weed and cigs. daily. I was in the G.A.T.E. classes gifted and talented education I.Q. tested just shy of genius. Won the D.A.R.E. achievement award in sixth grade. Did an anti drug speech in front of my school stoned. When I was 15 got sent to inpatient rehab for coke and meth. 105 days later my mom let me come home. I was seeing a shrink and put on diff. meds. Six months later back on the weed. Didnt touch hard drugs again for yrs. Never had a problem with addiction since rehab. Just weed. Went through about five doctors and lots of bi polar adhd meds and gave up after a couple yrs. As I got older it was easier to control my outbursts of anger but I still cant focus. It took losing my wife of ten years not be able to see my kids for me to realize I needed serious help. I got lucky found a shrink I liked. He told me to keep smoking the weed but take these pills and come and talk to me next week. He gave me seroquel on a ramp up dosing. It made me tired and I didnt really like it. I went back the next week told the doc. I didnt really like it, he said give it a few weeks. I did walking zombie effect gradually went away I was left feeling in control of myself for the first time in my life. I still cant focus for shit but I have much better control of my emotions. Most importantly no outbursts of rage. No more road rage, no uncontrollable urges to hurt people. I never realized how angry of a person I was. My quality of life has improved drastically. I still only sleep four hours a day. And my mind still races Im just in better control. I also did hallucinogens for a few years . Ate a ton of acid and shrooms. Now I dabble with the shrooms here and there but no more hard trips for me.

This sounds familiar -even if my IQ is probably in the medium range. Finding a good shrink is essential, someone who actuallu listens and can motivate us to take our meds etc AND that let´s us keep our herb. My shrink would want me to up my Quetiapine dose and maybe I should, seems you guys are doing well on it but 25mg:s puts me to sleep in 30mins which is not always a bad thing.

But the road rage is getting worse, never thought of that and bipo but its´logical. Being angry has always been one of my problems, that and holding a grudge forever have harmed me a lot during the years.

I just hope my mood swings, anger, obsessions and everything else haven´t harmed my kids too much, we´ve discussed things and they seem to be cool with they´re childhoods (20 and 18yo) but I still obsess about what kind of a parent I´ve been.

But I´m now trying to let things go, not to overreact and to sleep and eat regularly plus the exercise bit. I need to get back into the gym for sure.
 
dirtyglovedank

dirtyglovedank

342
63
wow im glad i found this

true grit
you have no clue how gald i found this thread
my fiancee is extreme bi polar and has mutiple personality disorder and post traumaticstress disorder...she is the love of my life and is so sweet and nice when she dosent have the switch flipped..we have been trying to find a strain for her bi polar to not activate ..or as fast .. she loves purple urkle that strain works for her really well for some reason...and some strains it all depends on when they are pulled early 50 days or full 70 + for couch lock but ive found its all in how long you let them go ...play with the strich %
50-50.... 25 -75...that is what i am finding makes a big diffrence if she likes the effects or not...
my grape stomper i have is very very strong no matter when you pull it..
so if i pull it at 46-52 days its so speedy it makes a pot of coffe seem weak .. it makes my anxiety go through the roof but she likes it at 58-62
me i like it at 70+
but ive got lots to talk about this ..she just got home from work and i got to talk to her so ill chime back in later
hope this helps at all
ttyl
and good luck to everyone using it as actual MEDICINE
DGD
 
dirtyglovedank

dirtyglovedank

342
63
Im taking seroquel and love it. I tried a lot of diff. pills over the years and seroquel is the only one I liked. Weed doesnt do it for me I actually think it makes my bipolar episodes worse. I think true bipolars need meds. How many of you can stay awake for 3-4 days without drugs and not feel tired or be able to sleep.

i actually can stay up for 3-4 days with no pharm drugs or hard drugs
and i dont have bi polar .. i stay up and work and get stuff done many of my friends ask how i do it all the time .. i really dont have a answer.. i think i might have insominia, its not all the time. but if i sit down, i fall asleep in 1-2 minutes ..
my fiancee used to takes seroquel i got her off those with weed... the withdrawls for her were very bad from those pills.. she used to take 8-10 diffrent pills 3-4 times a day and it put her to sleep for days and usaully made shit worse.. they throw pills at ya till the get a good or bad result.. i hate piil doctors..
that is why ive been growing many diffrent types and finding some work and some dont for people
my favorites are chem dog and chem crosses
urkles ,sour og , fire bubba
i think there is alot of medicinal use for the chem lines its not just how frosty it is . there is something in the OILS in side of the bud thats totallly unique for that genetic line different of any other strain
but again it also matters when you pull them at what % of amber to clear cloudy ect..
and ive had the chance to try over 200+ different types grown by friends and myself since i started smoking
there is a strain for EVERYONES ailments
you just got to find a key for the right door to unlock it.......
DGD
 
sky high

sky high

4,796
313
I posted earlier in this thread and said I had dealt with depression for most of my adult life.

I realize >now<....8 months after losing my oldest son...EXACTLY WHAT DEPRESSION IS

What I experienced before in my life may have had tinges of true/clinical "depression" in the mix...but i now realize that a lot of what I considered to be depression just wasn't...it was just the pain of having to grow up...having to face things I didn't wanna face...and the resulting FUNK that arose as I made those realizations and balked at them. Yes...it was a type of "depression"....but I know >now< that it wasn't the same thing/wasn't on the same level as the depression I've experienced over the last 8 months.

"Some people say life's like a merry-go-round
I think it's more like a ferris wheel
'Cause sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
Sometimes you just don't know what to feel"

Todd Rundgren - from "The Wheel"


I miss you son.

Dad
 

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