mandalaman
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Take all the time you need brother man we are all here for you.I appreciate it.
In real life I'm usually an emotional rock.
But today I was the one who couldn't contain myself. Funny watching the lady vets offering me tissue and condolences while the wife sucks it up for the both of us.
I just need time to grieve.
Take all the time you need brother man we are all here for you.
Be at peace, sending warm thoughts and good vibes R.View attachment 668649
Kitty has been in decline for a couple days now. We planned for today to be the day she gets put down since Friday. She has given us the signs we need to see. She has stopped doing all the things she enjoyed. She always loves a good nose rub though.
View attachment 668650
She used to knead the dough and purr meow in my wife's lap every morning.
The wife said if she was ready to go not to sit with her & Today she refused for hours and only gave the wife a tiny session. That was a big sign.
She has always been head over heels for tuna, sardines, and treats. She doesn't go crazy for them anymore. Instead she looks at them intently licking her lips wanting to eat them. But her gi tract/stomach is ruined and she can't.
She has always liked classical music
Sitting oriented ears towards the speaker listening intently. Seems the only thing she has the energy for even in her final hours.
View attachment 668653
All the things she has enjoyed daily have faded. Her quality of life is declining. If we keep her alive any longer, life will no longer be enjoyable for her or us.
It truly is a very sad day.
I'm gonna have to do the right thing and be there all the way until she passes to the other side. It's a small price to pay for the amazing lifetime of experiences and memories she has given us. We owe it to her to give her a proper send off in her final time of need.
I sent a message across the other side.
To our recently departed cancer friend. I asked him if he could please be there today to help her find her way once she has transitioned over.
I don't want her innocent, peaceful, friendly, loving beautiful spirit being endlessly wandering. I wish her only the best journeys in life and death.
And I told her she is always welcome back in to our family in any lifetime. And that we hope we get the chance to experience her spirit/love again.
Just a few hours of life left to spend.
I will cherish these moments forever.
And every year the day before valentine's day we will remember one of our life loves we lost.
View attachment 668649
Kitty has been in decline for a couple days now. We planned for today to be the day she gets put down since Friday. She has given us the signs we need to see. She has stopped doing all the things she enjoyed. She always loves a good nose rub though.
View attachment 668650
She used to knead the dough and purr meow in my wife's lap every morning.
The wife said if she was ready to go not to sit with her & Today she refused for hours and only gave the wife a tiny session. That was a big sign.
She has always been head over heels for tuna, sardines, and treats. She doesn't go crazy for them anymore. Instead she looks at them intently licking her lips wanting to eat them. But her gi tract/stomach is ruined and she can't.
She has always liked classical music
Sitting oriented ears towards the speaker listening intently. Seems the only thing she has the energy for even in her final hours.
View attachment 668653
All the things she has enjoyed daily have faded. Her quality of life is declining. If we keep her alive any longer, life will no longer be enjoyable for her or us.
It truly is a very sad day.
I'm gonna have to do the right thing and be there all the way until she passes to the other side. It's a small price to pay for the amazing lifetime of experiences and memories she has given us. We owe it to her to give her a proper send off in her final time of need.
I sent a message across the other side.
To our recently departed cancer friend. I asked him if he could please be there today to help her find her way once she has transitioned over.
I don't want her innocent, peaceful, friendly, loving beautiful spirit being endlessly wandering. I wish her only the best journeys in life and death.
And I told her she is always welcome back in to our family in any lifetime. And that we hope we get the chance to experience her spirit/love again.
Just a few hours of life left to spend.
I will cherish these moments forever.
And every year the day before valentine's day we will remember one of our life loves we lost.
ya buddy you could do something like this. Outdoors the sky is the limit and the amount of veg time the season gives you before flower sets in.Man if it were outdoor....
I've always wanted to grow the world's biggest/biggest yielding cannabis plant.
I'd train it like the beast.
Stretching it out as far sideways as possible.
Wow. I have no words. So sorry . Tell H we love her.............A night of sleep (little) helps erase yesterday's mental state.
I woke up feeling good. The thoughts I was hanging on were gone. I thought immediately that's no good. I loved her.
Walked out to the living room where wife was on the couch depressed.
I turned on the classical music for old times sake since we used to play it every morning for kitty. I feel if her spirit was around we would like to have a comfortable atmosphere for her to visit. Her ottoman is open for her too.
I just layed next to the wife cuddled up under the 2 blankets which were our kitty's favorite to lay on everyday.
Slowly all memories good and bad started slowly returning to the party.
I feel the intense memories and waves of emotion signify that she may still be hanging around us.
Because she liked/s to say good morning whenever we wake up, but never woke us up during sleep.
I place my hands on the different places she would be laying if she was still lingering or visiting.
And depending on which spot I rest my open palm at the time. I am struck with an overwhelming emotional surge.
To someone who meant so much.
How long is the right amount of time to grieve? I've always been a person who moves through emotional stresses quickly. But I feel this one deserves more of my time. Somehow I owe it to her to retain her spirit within me.
I am confronted with blocks in time once set aside and dedicated to her throughout my day. Now just empty voids needing to be filled with new things. Yet I am not ready to attempt to fill them with anything new as of yet.
Even though she was a quiet cat.
Only after she passed did we realise how silent our house had become.
Think of me, my wife, and kitty being represented as 3 candles that fill the room/house with light. Well now it feels like only 2/3 the energy is filling the room now.
This process will resolve itself as time progresses. But now is the time of remembrance. Of all the wonderful experiences and feelings of shared emotions between us and her over her time on earth with us. It is our personal inner memorial dedicated especially for her.
That was an awesome analogy. Much like the energy of the candle burning, her energy is not lost, just redirected.Think of me, my wife, and kitty being represented as 3 candles that fill the room/house with light. Well now it feels like only 2/3 the energy is filling the room now.
niceya buddy you could do something like this. Outdoors the sky is the limit and the amount of veg time the season gives you before flower sets in.
Amazing man. I hope you can look back at this post with fond remembrance for years to come because it's beautiful.Walking around the home remembering all the places we would find her hiding or waiting for us.
I can picture her in all of them looking back at me. Remembering how fun it was catching her in places like the bathroom pantry laying in the towels. Or in the closet on top of clothes napping. You can see her tail only.
View attachment 668822
Whenever we found her she would come running out playfully.
Or the times I was catering to my plants and she would meow and rub up against me asking for a lift to see the canopy. She would then relax completely and almost fall asleep.
If she ever needed food she would come meow at us. Then when we went towards her to pet or play she would lead us to the empty food or water bowl. If I woke up to her hungry meows (yeah I could tell them apart) I would wake up instantly to feed her.
We grew her a catnip plant last year she went crazy for. Those videos are priceless.
She had a loving, happy, caring home.
And it is a relief that her suffering has been ended. With the only family to which she has known by her side right until the end.
ya buddy you could do something like this. Outdoors the sky is the limit and the amount of veg time the season gives you before flower sets in.
I like it! Gonna look a lil crazier and stink, when it hits full bloom tho! lolya buddy you could do something like this. Outdoors the sky is the limit and the amount of veg time the season gives you before flower sets in.
It looks awesome! Week 4 to week 5?
Nice and frosty! 300 to 350 grams with hps
lol... I was close!Well besides the dated posts that log my flowering times :p
Last day of week 5 yesterday (since it's past midnight), Start of week 6 today.
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