so me an a mate are on a road trip down to devon, to go to the beach, happily driving along trying to cram as much weed into our heads as humanly possible and listening to tunes. times were good. a couple of hours in to the journey im stoned as a mother fucker, strugling to see where im going, partly because of the aforementioned stonedness and partly because we thought a 'rolling hotbox' would be funny. times were still good.
It was around this point that i saw blue lights in the rear view. gulp. not only did we have a couple of ounces between us for the vacation ahead but my credentials were more than flakey, my insurance ran out and had only renewed it that morning and feed the ins company a rake of bollocks juts to get covered that day.
so first i pull over and jump out to meet the officer in his cruiser - cops love that over here, they dont have to move that way and it keeps him away from my jeep for the time being while my mates hides our shit, he sits me in the passanger seat and for crying out load it had to be a 'Power Cop' - you know the sort, tight shortsleeved shirt, those stupid mirrored sunglasses...
anyway he starts giving me the ol' "do you know why i stopped you sunshine," im like, "no officer, i know it couldnt have been for speeding i was under the limit.." well actually i was about 5mph over but lets not get into semantics,
so far my eyes havent given me away..yet..he comes to tell me his computer thingy has flagged me for no insurance.. YES, i think to myself were in the clear, I gave him the details and he makes the call to the insurance company, sure enough the guy on the other end confirms to him i am indeed covered but then the jackass starts asking questions, he asked the cop - has the driver any points, which i had 9 i didnt tell them about..SHIIT.. the cop say no, the driver has no points..WHAT THE FUCK.. i quietly smile. if the cop had actually done his checks properly and saw that i had 9 point already i would have had another 6 points for no insurance, they would have impounded the car, took the weed and i would have been banned from driving for over a year. Close Call.
But this isnt the end of the story, oh no, this dick end of a cop then calls my mum while im sat there next to him and starts asking her questions about the insurance and what im doing. she doesnt like the police very much either so she lies and bails me out. nice one mum.
All the while this asshole is trying to find dirt on me im making the small talk trying to keep the mood light - im running out of things to say fast, lets not forget im stoned off my tits at this point. To make matters worse i notice periodically my mate is trying to vent my jeep of smoke thats parked right in front of the cop car, im thinking hes gotta have seen that its like tonto sending smoke signals or some shit.
Then he calls my mate over to the cop car and starts grilling him, this is getting stupid, hes gonna search the car for sure. im starting to resign myself to the fact that my weed will be lost to me.. but me and my mate like to think were pretty smooth and keep feeding him the small talk, he plays along and all of a sudden he looks at me and says
"right, on your way chaps, have a nice trip."
-"no worries officer, you have a nice day" i reply while smiling through my teeth at this piss stain of a person and off we went on our merry way, stoned the entire time. We got plenty of Power Kiting done and good times were had by all.
The End.
