since you can't change reality, maybe you can work on changing how you feel about your reality, that is something you have some control over. ...allowing yourself to feel desperate and all stressed out can only make things worse for you so i'd strongly suggest you try to accept what is and just move forward, and remember that each grow is practice for the next, if you can learn to feel this way then so long as you learn something that will help you in your next endeavor then this grow was a success.
...and why won't you be able to grow indoors for 5 months? ...air conditioning is WAY cheaper than buying bud.
peace, bozo