Cigarettes

[markscastle]

you will feel like this again in no time!

 

[squiggly]

mangled quote, but you get the picture... "That's the thing about intelligence - it's like having four wheel drive on your truck. All it's good for is getting you stuck further out"

That's fucking great.

So true.

I always say there are different ways to be smart. For instance if I'm in a chemistry quiz game against bear grylls I'll shit all over him.

If we're racing to the bottom of a mountain in Alaska he's gonna shit all over me, though.

I learned this about life when I was working as a landscaper. I thought I was real fuckin' smart til I got my pasty white ass under that July sun.

 

[squiggly]

I bet it was just gassss..

Maybe you can go on Web MOD and really freak your self out! That's what I do when some scary shit happens to me. Good job quitting. Stogies are whack.

I am putting the good vibe out for your health brother. Relax.

I wish it was gas. I've always had GI issues so I know what that feels like unfortunately. This was one of three things:

1. Back pain causing a tight band around my chest. This seems very likely given how I've felt in the intervening days (I have a knot very near my spine and pain is radiating from it all the way around my body.

2. Something having to do with my recent UR infection--and the thickness of my mucous.

3. Something having to do with my heart.


As I said one of the worst things I've got going for me here is that I am fully aware of most of the possibilities. There are plenty of innocuous ones and I focus on those, but there are worse things that could be at play.

By purely dumb luck I spent most of my high school career wishing I could be a cardiovascular surgeon. I didn't end up going that route (dropped out of high school a bunch instead) but I did PLENTY of reading.

It could easily have been gas or a back pain, but it could just as easily have been a PSVT or any number of other tachycardias or arrhythmias.

Beyond wanting to be a cardio surgeon I've spent nearly the last 3 years (almost every day) working on beta-blockers as my chemical research. These are basically anti-arrhythmia drugs and just suffice it to say that a fair bit of biology/anatomy knowledge is helpful to this research, so I have been exposed to it in force.

I am feeling better as this day comes to a close. I think my body hit its freak out peak somewhere last night.

Can only give a shit about stuff for so long I guess. I've smoked a bowl with the lady now that she's home and no heart explosions yet lol.

I think the irritability of so quickly dropping both nicotine and caffeine cold turkey at the same time is not helping me here--but fuck it I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I've been trying to kick both for years and if this gets it done fuck it I'll be scared for a week.

 

[caregiverken]

Quitter! :p

Good Move Squiggly...quit while you can..

I have been smoking for 37 years...Never more than a pack a day...down to about a half pack now..
and about ten joints
The e cigs dont cut it for me...if I can get down to a few smokes a day...I will be content..

My Grandmother smoked Salem's (and drank Keslers) till she was 82.
.she got Parkinson's Disease and shook so bad she couldn't hold a drink or a smoke, so she quit both...

then she died.

I am Not a Quitter! ;) But I hope to just stop someday

 

[the rrock]

smoking is cool?since when?

 

[squiggly]

smoking is cool?since when?

To smokers, since forever.

 

[delae632]

Sounds like panic and anxiety disorder to me squig. Cigs can trigger it since they're a stimulant...coffee is a no no as well. When I had this terrifying shit going on I quit cigs, herb, coffee and alcohol...I had to as they all triggered or exacerbated the problem. I dealt with that shit for years. Shoot me a pm if you want to rap more.

 

[squiggly]

Sounds like panic and anxiety disorder to me squig. Cigs can trigger it since they're a stimulant...coffee is a no no as well. When I had this terrifying shit going on I quit cigs, herb, coffee and alcohol...I had to as they all triggered or exacerbated the problem. I dealt with that shit for years. Shoot me a pm if you want to rap more.

Thanks, doin' that.

My biggest fear has been that I'm going crazy and I won't be able to control it.

I know I'm being irrational so it's been weird. I've dealt with anxiety--nothing analogous to this though (hypochondriac style).

 

[delae632]

Sent ya a pm

 

[Animal Chin]

Cigarettes lmfao. Just never understood this one.

 

[rick ratlin]

I agree with Delae632. I had a similar situation last year. Chalked it up to a number of stress factors (cash, pollen, tax season, overworked etc.) that basically turned into a panic attack. I was also quitting cigs at the time. I thought I was going to die, chest pain, back spasms, neck nerve pains.

Well , I paid my taxes, got my cash flow going, and talked it out with my family, and the shit went away. I have no idea why, but me thinks it was just related to money problems. Makes me hate money even more.

Everybody is different, but I hope it is this simple for you. I know you won't listen, but take a break brother... from everything, even the farm. I don't like to assume or judge, but your posts lately have had a stressfull tone to them, even though you do have to correct so many people. And fwiw, you are my favorite source of info here at the farm. You're not crazy, you're human. Keep it positive Squiggs!

 

[Thatgirl]

Good on you for quitting smoking!! Is this the first time you have quit? My stepdad said for him, quitting cigs was harder than quitting heroin, but then again, he went back to the heroin, but never did smoke again LOL... Given the choice, I would have rather had him take up smoking again though. Anyway the first 3 days are the hardest, but that whole first week is rough for sure. By the time you make it through the 2nd week, you are so far out, that to go back now would be the DUMBEST thing ever, because while things still suck ass, you have made it through the worst of the worst, and it really will start to get a little better all the time from here out. I literally had to relearn how to deal with things. Because what do we do when we get stressed, upset, mad, whatever? Cig. You get that little few seconds buffer zone.

I too started smoking when I was 12, and quit when I was 27, that was 4 years ago. I was running up to my house from my barn, which is slightly uphill from the barn. I was out of breath and my lungs were burning from running uphill for 7 seconds, and that was first thing in the morning even. I realized that I was only 27, if I had any intentions of continuing to live this lifestyle, I would have to quit. I just couldn't go on being in pain from literally no activity.

Its funny you likened it to a bad trip. The whole time I was quitting, any time I Would feel really fucked up about things and I knew it was just exacerbated by quitting, I would tell myself similar things that I would when having a stressful moment tripping "Its just the drugs, this isn't real, this will end, its just the drugs, I am still in control, nothing bad will happen, its just the drugs" LOL. I had dreams about smoking for like 2 years after quitting. All of them were so glorious and awesome, until one day I took a drag in a dream, and it was DISGUSTING! I havnt looked back since LOL.

I had to break it down into activities and time frames. I would normally have grabbed a smoke on my way down to clean a couple stalls after breakfast, before I left for class, and I decided against it. Then, when it was time for me to leave for my 45 minute drive to the college, I didn't grab my pack. Normally I would have had one there and back, and so forth and so on. Sometimes I would have to wrestle with myself from second to second, but as long as I just sat there and literally said to my self "OK, now I made it through that second, and that one, and this one too, and that one" until it passed. That helped with the anxiety too, though at the time I quit, I wasn't having a super traumatic time in life. And I didn't even know that the weird episodes I would have sometimes, was anxiety attacks.

Speaking on the anxiety; (I don't really know what to put there, but it doesn't seem like a period is the right answer) I get nauseous, gag, or puke, depending on the level of anxiety. My heart races and pounds, I shake, and hyperventilate, and then I get scared that I am going to start puking and then I do and the heart racing and shaking and hyperventilating continues on, and it just gets out of control really fast. In December, for the second time in my life, I ended up in the ER for a major anxiety attack where I couldn't stop vomiting and hyperventilating. Only this time did they realize it was anxiety, and then they told me, and it was a major eye opener and life changer for me! THey finally had to pump me full of ativan to get it to stop, and then sent me home with a bottle of them that i Had to down in the next few days to not end up back in the ER. I don't have insurance, and they gave me some BS tests (like an EKG for some medication that turns out they didn't even have in stock anyway). It cost a shit ton, but its manageable with a payment plan. I did a follow up with my GP and we decided that for sure, all these episodes I have had in my life, are in fact anxiety attacks, so he gave me a bigger RX of ativan. That shit SAVES me. I had NO clue that there was actually something that would help stop this shit in its tracks! Its been a total eye opener for me that I can have a little help to get off the bad ride that is anxiety, and the depression that goes hand in hand with it. Its been happening forever, since I was a kid, and I thought that I was just a weirdo.

I had full blown attack just today actually. By the time I got home, I was SO wrought up that over the course of today I have taken 3x what I would normally take. I was in a grocery store parking lot when I saw a man who I could have loved, I would have been with him forever. He broke my heart end of december. Today he was with his brand new wife. Shes pretty, way prettier than me. I thought seeing that would make it feel better, but somehow it didn't. And then, lucky me, ended up behind them on a rural hwy on the way home. When I got home I was a total mess.

Anyway, I am sorry for rambling on, probably the ativans fault. I hope I didn't piss you off, or ruin your thread with having a bad time and my girl whining. I hope you continue to feel a little better every day. Oh, also, you said you had been sick. I sometimes get really bad anxiety (now that I know thats what it was) when I get sick, like, my body is under attack and it just freaks out. That could for sure be adding to your anxiety feeling.

 

[squiggly]

I would tell myself similar things that I would when having a stressful moment tripping "Its just the drugs, this isn't real, this will end, its just the drugs, I am still in control, nothing bad will happen, its just the drugs" LOL.

Preaching to the choir with that mantra. I eventually had to give up hallucinogens. They went from being the only thing I've ever described as a spiritual experience to the only thing I'm positive I can't do without losing my shit.

Yeah initially I didn't even think that the chest pain could be anxiety. Like I realized that afterwards my reaction to it might've been anxiety as its not something new in my life.

Now, though, I'm realizing that maybe I let this shit creep up a bit too much. I haven't been taking good care of my psyche lately I don't think. I probably have needed to see someone about anxiety for awhile now--but just saying that makes me anxious. You might sense my issue now, lol.

I need some drugs. I have xanax but it makes me high as shit and that's not what I'm looking for (lest I have to tell myself it's just the drugs, it's just the drugs).

Just need something/someone to knock me the fuck out that doesn't have hypertensive side effects.

 

[markscastle]

Do a search on kava root my friend! you can order it on line also. It`s not cheep but less than cigs.

 

[KennyPowers]

cigarettes are disgusting

 

[Mister Charlie]

I would go to the local pharmacy and get your blood pressure checked out and ask the pharmacist if your numbers are on the high side or just look it up when you get home. I am the same age and was having problems with my chest tightening up, scared as hell thinking i was having a heart attack. Turns out that I needed to start taking high blood pressure meds. I was in pretty bad shape and overweight for my age so this might not apply to you. It sparked a lifestyle change for me. I dont post much but thought this is pretty important to get checked out. I would quit smoking powerful sativas for awhile and find something like SCMK or la affie and you will be alright. Goodluck

 

[Texas Kid]

Anybody remember back in the day when BOG would send you smoke and seeds if you were trying to quit smokin squares...that was his mission and I can think of a few people he sent piles and piles of smoke to while they were quittin..

Good luck quittin

 

[caveman4.20]

Those black rings around cigarettes from filter to tip used to be gunpowder now it's fire retardant !!! That's help me quit finding out what is really in there and I use to chew also they use to put fiberglass in chew to cut up gums and get nicotine in your blood stream faster

 

[midwestdensies]

Squiggs have you ever thought about the stress of just growing in a non med state. I used to be shall we say fairly hardcore in the midwest just a runner and grower. It was rough man took a toll on my brain and the shit ive seen is either wow or fucked up. Then you add school, life, gf, just stress in general. Ive smoked on and off for years also but real stress cant be duplicated

 

[Seamaiden]

I was slowly weaning myself off using that as an aid.

I was down to 1 cig a day--this happened during my one cig.

I have renounced the e-cig as well as nicotine is no good for the vascular system or respiratory system (where I think the actual problem is).

I suppose it will be used to smoke concentrate henceforth--but if I'm being honest I've even sworn off MJ for the moment until I can get in to a doctor.

I know from my studies that cannabis can increase chance of MI in the hours following use. I don't know WTF is going on so I want to wait until I do.

Just basically living on the edge of my seat right now. Taking it hour by hour trying to not utterly freak myself out (it's not working).

If I am able to rest and calm down for a moment--I can see my every appendage just trembling mercilessly.

My hope is that sharing my fear here will convince someone to quit before they must also share in it.

The best description I can give is that I feel like I've been in a bad acid trip I can't get out of for 3 days straight.

Don't discount anxiety attack, squiggly. You fit a profile of someone else I know, damn near to a T, and his issue turned out to be panic attacks. Non-smoker. Your being at the level of schooling you're at makes that a much more likely scenario than heart attack or lung cancer. The fact that you're this worked up about it makes it even more likely, in my honest opinion.


You'll be ok.