dextr0 said:

Right now I'm trying benedryl....just got out of a Texas psych hospital having to deal w a lot of different issues. They refused to give me any benzos because of my past substance abuse history...something to think of fwiw.

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I'm afraid I'll be denied benzos for the same reason. I really hope not.

I do not want to fuck with SSRIs.

Benedryl is contraindicated for hypertension and several other disorders that can be exacerbated by anxiety so make sure you check into that first.

See squigs I knew somethin was up when i was typin to ya the other day........ya gotta straight go to squiggs as a child land; i think you misunderstood what i was sayin; when your a child nothing matters and theres no stress; i was dirt poor as a kid and shoulda been worried about a lot but it just didn't effect me. I'm just sayin i can tell the stress of everything is gettin to ya, school will do that to ya hard core too, i used to get stressed as fuck and i know buddies that went back to school and i can tell just from the way they've been for a little while that their stressin like mad too. Just take some time for yourself; It's kinda like in the jhonny cash movie when johnny and june move into the cabbin and johnny goes through withdraw and eats blueberries for months; sometimes ya just gotta press reset, and i think that means stoppin everything. I've been down the same path and i don't think prescription drugs are the solution but rather a temporary fix with side effects. hope this helps man, Take it EEAASSSYYY! Also learning how to properly meditate helped me alot.

May the wind fill your sails and the waves guide you

FYI - the ER cannot turn you away for not having insurance. They have to stabilize you before they can release you.

Most will help you apply for state aid if you qualify...

ftwendy said:

FYI - the ER cannot turn you away for not having insurance. They have to stabilize you before they can release you.

Most will help you apply for state aid if you qualify...

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I know. I'm a college student, though--and accruing more debt and monthly bills is extremely far down on my to-do list.

Listen Sqiggs it's obvious ya love smokin' so do what Ohiofarmer says,realise that ya do love it,look at like ya would when ya were three,(thats when I was at my smartest)and know,that your harming yourself,no end,so much,that you could die from this crush on smokin'.
O yeah,get your self a bat and dug out from eds tnt,have it packed full of goodness,and toke a hit whenever you see fit.This is what I did about ten years ago,still doing it fine.

Just thought I'd update for everyone.

I saw the Dr. today and she thought my BP/Heart Rate were good and that my heart sounded good. She said if I have chest pain again we'll do an EKG and chest x-ray.

Put me on low dose of Ativan as needed for the anxiety (which I'm now convinced I mostly brought on myself by quitting nicotine cold turkey).

Hey Squiggly, first things first; much love from me, my brother! I know just what is like to know too damn much about a health issue and then obsess about it. Our brains are funny things, sometimes.

I used to tell people, "I don't care how you quit, just do it!", but I have come to realize that process is essential to product, even in this case. Take care of your head, your body, your soul and your girl and that sense of fulfillment may help you feel better. It brings me peace to remind myself of all the people I'm helping.

As far as smoking tobacco goes, I was very lucky early on in that both of my folks smoked. I remember telling them that I liked the smell of one thing they smoked, but not the other. Guess which was which! Because of that early negative association with cigarettes I never had the temptation to pick them up later. This does not make me cool, or better- just lucky.

I also realize that the fact that I never started leaves me with no experience in putting them down. This is why I don't judge. I'm supportive of your efforts and those of others who are making that difficult journey from "smoker" to "ex-smoker", and I read/listen carefully to everyone who talks about what they went through to stop.

Cannabis is not a cure all. I have asthma, which I'm pretty sure was caused in my case by too many bong hits! I know that in addition to that, it can cause COPD. It does not appear to increase cancer risk, according to several studies I've read recently.

I've given myself a mild case of anxiety before, it sucked! Sometimes it really is possible to be too smart for your own good, ain't that a bitch of a switch! I'm not big on trading one set of meds for another if there are other options. Here is one thing that always, always makes me feel better even if it sounds weird; hot peppers and the spicy foods they come in. I'm telling you, that sense of warm bellied peace is better than anything else I have ever eaten for stress.

Finally, much love again, brother! I can't count all the times you've taken time you don't have from a day already too short to answer my stupid questions! I know I speak these words for many, many others when I say thank you, and get well and strong soon!

I can honestly say that quitting this nasty habit is the hardest thing I've ever done!!!!! Last cig was in 1989.So I guess I'm over the hump.

Good luck and I do mean it!

7thson said:

I can honestly say that quitting this nasty habit is the hardest thing I've ever done!!!!! Last cig was in 1989.So I guess I'm over the hump.

Good luck and I do mean it!

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Thanks dude. I was 3 when you quit.

Truly I have no craving for a cigarette. I don't want them.

I'm scared of what they have done to me, legitimately. For whatever reason that didn't sink in until Friday--despite my being smart and aware of the FACT of the damage cigs do.

So I won't be smoking again under any circumstances--luck is not neeeded. I have zero desire for the cigs.

Already my girls breath kinda smells like shit after she smokes (sorry baby!) but she's quitting soon as well and after 15 years of dating mostly non-smokers I can't really complain, lol. It's only day 5 and I can also smell/taste everything better and I've been steadily hacking up brown shit from my lungs.

It's just this anxiety which I'm almost positive is related to the withdrawal, and might have been exacerbated by:

1. My lack of sleep Thursday night in all-nightering for an exam and how late it was Friday when this all kicked off (about 3AM).

2. The very sativa dom strain I had been smoking at the time.

ttystikk said:

I'm not big on trading one set of meds for another if there are other options.

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I'm hoping this is a temporary crutch and nothing more. If it's not I'll cross that bridge when I come to it but for the moment these have been acute and sudden symptoms and I'm hoping they leave as quickly and convincingly as they arrived.

I still feel a bit edged out on the ativan--but I can tell that it will help me sleep tonight. Nights have really been the worst the past few nights. Hot flashes, restless legs, hyper focused on my heart beat (I could feel it in my fingertips even), slight pressure on chest.

I basically felt like moaning and crying for the last 5 nights for my inability to feel okay--and my acquiescence to feeling like total dog shit.

I've had to wake up my girlfriend each night to rub my back and calm me down because I was slipping into a panic attack. That's not something I can deal with for a long long time.

Few reasons:

1. Both she and I have shit to do most mornings.

2. She's ill equipped to help someone with anxiety--herself having anxiety issues.

3. I feel crazy doing it and I can't imagine she feels much different.

Losing this girl over anxiety is the furthest thing from an option that there ever has been but, if I had to feel like that all of the time there is NO FUCKING QUESTION that I would off myself. No question at all.

She put me on 0.5mg of Ativan and I cut that in half--and it's still doing the job right now to where I feel like I can go hit the store today.

I'm really hoping that this IS withdrawal and that it does dissipate soon--because otherwise I'm going to find myself in really big trouble when school starts back. I don't know how I'll handle this shit with my schedule if there isn't a change.

I would hate to come this far and have to end it because of something like this but yeah.

stress/anxiety is a total bitch..i remember the days i was absolutely stress free and god damn id give anything for that feeling 24/7. For the past year ive been experiencing waves of stress that range from mediocre to extreme, and I really shouldnt have that much to be stressed about. The major difference, for me, between the past and present is that I now over analyze shit to a ridiculous point. Im pretty sure its what causes most of my stress. I realize that some stress has to be natural but the shit i experience now is all a mind fuck if i had to guess. Im still on the search for some kind of remedy but to this day im totally blank. Smoking helps for me bc i just absolutely love herb but occassionally it does make me a lil paranoid then i get into crazy thoughts and over analyzing potential scenerios...in the end its been a bigger burden than i realized. Basically it wastes my time, which in my life has led to a handful of problems that are now stressing me out. I know your smart as hell and very educated so I dont know if maybe you are also an over analyzer? The only thing that helps me is fishing. I can truely say i think about absolutely nothing when i fish (other than the task at hand). Thing is i cant fish every day lol. Its as cliche as it gets but def try finding something that you love doing so much that you lose yourself in it. It provides me with temporary relief and sometimes clears my head for days. Maybe the key is to do those hobbies as often as possible to keep the head clear, who knows. I know im not offering any crazy good advice but just letting you know my take on the stress deal. If your not an over analyzing person then maybe getting out and just enjoying what you love is still a good idea. Hell just standing beside a creek/river and watching it flow gives me life and energy. Just keep all the negative shit outta your head as well as you can and find some time to enjoy yourself. I struggle to do it myself but when i find time, it actually does help a little.

Glad to hear that you got in to the DR, are healthy, got some ativan, and are feeling somewhat functional again. Do not start setting yourself by worrying now, how you are going to feel and handle things in the future. Thats just the anxiety talking still, I don't know why, but it seems to want to keep you there, and thats the kind of internal dialog that you have to derail immediately.

bckwht do you meditate?

Rereading, squiggly if you are still having that bad of a time that you are thinking you might have to do something drastic, then you aren't taking enough ativan. You have to break the anxiety cycle, once you have, then you can take less the next day to help with the residual.

Thatgirl said:

bckwht do you meditate?

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Nope, don't have the slightest clue about meditation. I've considered it a possibility but never took it further than that. Do you find it actually helps a lot?

Treat the cause not the symptoms... Most prescribed drugs only treat symptoms not the cause. You've made life way too complicated for such a young person. Take time out from all the crap your piling on self and just relax.....

I wish my sister would go back on Zoloft. Cannabis does not cut it.

chickenman said:

Treat the cause not the symptoms... Most prescribed drugs only treat symptoms not the cause. You've made life way too complicated for such a young person. Take time out from all the crap your piling on self and just relax.....

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preach it brotha CM!!!!!:)

Ohiofarmer said:

preach it brotha CM!!!!!:)

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Really a no brainier...

^agreed....guess that says somethin bout these times

Maybe more sex....lol

I think this kid has way too much on his plate. He gets all fired up, and where does that get anybody.
Keep it simple, take it easy. He has many years still to go why live life all at once by thinking too much.
Sure there's lots to worry about, but again take it one day at a time, observe the beauty that can
be found everywhere if you know know where to look. All I got to do is walk outside my back door to find happiness...it's there, just chill out, relax your mind, the body will follow....