and even though i no longer eyefuk females, hyde is forever calculating n sizing up EVERY contestant, "lookin for daddy, wants ears not words, doesn't know her mind... 20min, tops. she's already been n my car... first mistake was pretending not to c me... then, fearing eye contact... a predator has confirmation of a kill ... right there. but i am not that man. in my teens, sure... fine... who's next. only i applied it to my goals, which were... excuse me- pussy, at the time. think i didn't gleen only what i could use, from uncle chester the molester? yeah... i bet we weren't his first. these... as we've all read- insatiable. like i said... wasn't sex addict, exactly. i wanted to fuk em with my mind.
prettiest woman in the room (superficially, ONLY) is the most insecure, easiest prey and just as easily catches an std, or common cold, as anyone else so nobody but god could tell u how i made it this far, without dying of some horrible disease, especially, when i lost track of notches, in my... hmmm... 20s. and so i do not disclose in either direction/affirm, etc... because it's moot. we're all human. EVERYONE catches the common cold so... whatsoever u need to believe for yourself- pretend i have that, or perhaps i don't.
if u love someone
do u have jimmy drop her off in the middle of the desert just cause u paased her off, exploiting her weaknesses, as house entertainment in angry chick mode... i kept no secrets. if u r trying to get your best friend laid n over an ex... let ur current... i guess she was #3 that .. no 4.. that day n we were cool with other people/swingin... but jimmy was havin trouble so i moved swedish in they all knew about the others... just hadn't met. gave her spare room and the underlying daddy damage... she not only took care of my bf, but anyone, guy r gal, who came for fight club. no... she wasn't " special..."... she was just next.
there's nothing more bonding, then walking hand n hand with ur bff, to a clinic, together. so eventually, she, "had to go"... sonia was next. fuk i don't remember the rest anyway.. the symbolism for me was, "my best friend just dropped a gal with the common cold, in the middle of the desert. think it was lancaster, from hb.. or something and as i wiped down the entire house, with bleach... n then left for 4 days, anyway... so my kid could b violated by a 10yr old. karma... was that i get to watch the same apple same pineapple... i hate reruns... I've read this book. unfortunately, it will b the starting grain of his memoirs and it's clearly an extremely difficult book to finish because i am neither masochist nor sadist. huh... put another d in there. funny. nm. lost.
, if i had a mind to... exploit her vulnerability... "weaknesses"... - instability- mental/$ and u have read this book. we all feel like individualists and don't u believe it. just another pianist; another song, but the melodies r but few; just as in music; garden: life
cyclical
balance
