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in 1979

on mark street

santa ana California

after my first cigarette

and german shepherd

buddy

broke his tail cause of me

in the garage door

we grew corn

camped with our bf in a pup tent out back

where i kneeled in my green trousers

and rainbow horizontally stripped shirt

in buddy's poop

and leaned on all fours afterward

inadvertently masking my hands in two more
dog craps

my best friend's sis

felicia

was my 13yr old babysitter

yup

love boat

and one night momz says

pops just called

never seen em

never spoke to em

and momz says

you can go to him

but you'll never see me again

as i grew older

it occurred

there r two sides to every story

when my lil bro told me

as momz said she was at the hotel

we had 6 suites in

under one name

i knew it wasn't the first time

she'd told me a 2 sided

fairytale

nobody by the name of sc
in the vegas hotel

lil bro... knowing vegas as an adult

-lil bro

we were on the outskirts of town

wedding had started

headed back to norcal

when i asked my mother about a conversation about my father

as a child

she denied its ever occurring

i forget nothing

I'm lost

i forget what i was saying

 

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this was my first home

guess it fell off the list of preserves

surrounded by crack houses and beautiful

crack house, victorians

my grandfather was its second owner

if memory serves

sold for 110, only

has a basement

had an orange grove

i shit in the birds of paradise on moving day

must have missed

driven to the hood

in a brown

lion towel

only

couldn't have been winter

my guess

summer

the cousin i later played doctor with

ratted me out

i was four

we used to do spinny copter thingys over the hedge where that tree now stands

dropped a glass of grandmas iced tea i said i could hold
still have the knee scar

at the time

it was like a Cinderella balustrade (?)
that what they call em

the upstairs interior it was like an atrium
i could peek over the banister, on my tippy toes

washbowl on like a foyer table with mirror

used to play in an inflatable light blue
Hawaiian style, canoe full of water, in diapers

the platinks were our neighbors

can u see it

audrey

my momz hs vball coach

who'd prep'd momz for the Korean Olympics, i believe it was
coached me, too

started me collecting music boxes

the oil splash brass onez with motion

had a few weiners baby mama and more
red carew gave her his 84 i believe
bball card
taught me how to drive in her lap up pch around 10yrs
loved it; born to it

she died

while i was robbing my family

cancer

she is the reason my mother is a homeowner
to this day

in 4th ish grade

i was to do a report on a person who meant the world, today

her first brand new car cost $450

one of 3 reports which made my second appearance in print

i lost that report

to this day

i ask about the vet's fav vehicle to get em fired up in memories

it was suggested
then to yesterday

that i write

always fought it

always

she had a plumber's crack

always

best hugger

biggest heart

it's she I'm thinking of

when i ask questions from that report

-audrey
forever a part of me
forever in my heart
I'm sorry i broke yours

 

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it's been said that the coming gen of mosh's current digs
the bandana wearers of today
are demo'ing the charm out his windows

for fucking money and beachfront condos

never enough

never

enough

walking away from where they came from

sorry

moshes

 

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a bathroom

a patio

a mind

can b an Alcatraz

a theo lacy

a donavan

a pelican bay

a hanford

a chino

a prison

a torture chamber

locked within

incarcerated

without

 

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can't feel any beer

must've been a few

rough day

rough day

i got this