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"you're like some college, liberal, now" are u fucking kidding me?! told him i actually thought of myself as a human rights, writer... he called me a name that could cause me to b shot, by my own best friend. are u kidding me... i am myself. i...
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current season

by SPARECHANGE · Started
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"you're like some college, liberal, now"


are u fucking kidding me?!

told him i actually thought of myself as a human rights, writer...

he called me a name that could cause me to b shot, by my own best friend.

are u kidding me...

i am myself. i believe in me. if anything, an independent... but an can't vote, anyway so what fucking difference does it make.
doods (head)... i am not always myself. i know this. the misspellin cat thing.... i was ashamed, humiliated and embarrassed by what i was responsible for saying to a friend, a half ... hour... earlier. i may not always hold the wheel.... but i had seen what i am responsible for. i felt awful. she trusts me... and when i returned... i made light of it, by pretending to b someone i am not. it actually never occurred to me, there was another cat in the room, until... the flip flop cat toy, comment and in a visual imagining of that... there was a mirror... and it occurred to me... my avatar.... is a fucking cat. swear to y'all... just like osh is mosh... a funny guy... when i had a problem he could snap his fingers n make go away.... i just fucking forgot what the man does. i don't c him that way. for whatever reason... and diesel mentioned he's into doods... he will always b a mud guy to me, but if my sandbox needed patching up...it wouldn't occur to me, that's what he does... and i mean the santa gig, diesel... not the mud. would never occur to me. besides that.... i don't hire my friends. ltr is an exception and believe me... i have played this off like i could give a shit... i am losing my ass in propane. my friend's afraid of heights... how u think imma feel if he gets hurt on my roof... a veteran... on his knees... on my account.
i walked away from friendship, with ptsd Steve... over him being on his knees n my home, on my watch. the symbolism for me... i cannot get passed.
how do u think larry the roofer would feel... if he saw I'd hired someone else. this gaping fucking hole is my reminder... daily reminder... my nemesis... my chance at cross tech, heat exchange, application.... wtf would u do. it may not b logic... may b my crazy... let it remain til my friend is dead, far as I'm concerned.
and how do u explain crazy, to your gurl. i know i don't make sense.
 
however...
if i happen to b along for the ride... when he buys a pack of architecturals... diesel... and i learn to get over heights (half way there)... and how to do the gig, myself... u think he'd b upset, then?... if i did it myself n he taught me on one of his jobs ... gettin me into shap...
i think he'd b proud of himself.... i think he'd b proud of me....
i don't play pool with the "best mud guy in the valley".... i know whom i would call.... if i haven't already learned the trade, from the inside... (infiltrating)... by that time.
 
if u can't get over ur own crazy... sometimes, the scenic rout... can b beautiful... just try going around the obstacles... find another way... call me crazy.... call... me... crazy.
 
plot against yourself... let the battery die... let your g... hide the phone... do what u have to do... b ur own best friend (anything for a friend).... look out for your friends (sometimes we're our own worst enemies)... just take the scenic route... walk around, if u cannot pass... try going another route.
try a cold shower... music... breathe... a drive... a candle... darkness...
people, if u r gettin weirded out... gettin cabin fever... angry with the kids.. ur lover... walk around... if nobody is outside... what fucking difference will it make. fuel is still cheap. there doesn't have to b anyone next to u... go for a drive to a place that brings u solace; peace... quietly... u can do it in ur mind, as well... isolate... lock the dam door... headphones... get YOUR GOOSFRABA ON... before u become your version of hyde... your joker... your cheater, beater, liar, whore, carni, alcoholic... walk around the obstacles... if u cannot get over them.
have an awesome day
 
some of you are having to decide whether to pay the rent... the mortgage... the car... the credit cards... i am so sorry y'all feel u r havin to choose food in ur kid's bellies, roof, wheels... oh and don't forget... your car needs service... ur cv joints r claclaclacla... funking up... ur brakes r squeakin... would opening the door, today, make a difference? would lightning that candle, make a difference... takin a bath... make a difference... takin a breath... make a difference... takin a drive, with the pup n kids... probably. try it. they feel ur anxiety... u bring ur work home with u... u take it out on the family? leave ur baggage at the curb... in the white zone. take a moment... take a breath.
 
and what difference does it make what the kid and that crazy guy, called me. if u know anything about politics... it is a scale... a measuring tool... which slides through time. left, today, is right, tomorrow and what is right, today... can b equally as wrong/balanced, tomorrow. titles n authors don't matter... perspective and objectivity... does. translation... interpretation... good intentions... misunderstandings... balance... a slide through time. a measuring tool... not rule of law. power over fear. we all possess the power of gods: power... over fear... walk around, look around, if u have to.
 
I'm not high... I'm not drunk... i need my cup of joe... and i could use a Corona. i hate she emptied the case... means there's a few missing... a few... LEFT! WOOHOO!
CHEERS
ignore today's news, for one... what difference... will... it make... just walk around. stop rubber necking... you'll fuck up traffic; trust me. I'm just a lowly, trucker. but I've seen a thing, or two.

isn't that something
 
i don't need to see it, to know it exists.
i don't need to hear it, to know it goes on.

neither do you
neither do you

human nature, will continue, whether we all slow down, or not... slow down... don't look... don't listen... it's just noise... the tornado will pass... trust me... just keep breathing. ur not alone. all four horsemen are here, with you. holding ur hand... listening to the sand... tic tocing by... just listen... breathe...
neither decision will matter... if u don't... keep... breathing... what does mosh always tell me...: breathe... in.... out... what does a diesel say?... chill....

what does a fart say

smile

laugh...

don't hog it all; just a courtesy sniff... share that... laughter... that smile... that, "i just farted"... with ur loved ones...

yes... farts r funny... why else would we b able to customize, each one... how special, a fart can b... how memorable... y'all heard it, here... go share your inner asshole... with ur loved ones... c if they don't smile n laugh with u... never let em c it coming... they'll taste gamey... the farts will... if they see it comin... save me some tommy's chili... go share your secret smile... your vertical, secret smile... fart at the table. try... then...

take a breath!
sukkas!
 
and if u don't do pink chonies, either... yes, folks... those r called- non-filters...
 
"shorts" ... as it were
 
and if u do have trust issues... sigh... ever heard a saxophone? know what a "sassy sax", really is? try sticking that reed between ur cheeks... then, blow... if ur likely to shart, anyway... may as well make lemonade... chocolate putting, so to speak. play it with a reed and play it loud. wolfy... I'll gag, if u draw that.
y y'all think my pants have a spit valve? i am a pianist, too.
 
i preferred the receptions... foodies.. go figure.
 
there was an oak tree, over 1000 years old
it's over
 
was in training for this, when i stopped playing. my grand died
 
only... i was never... as good as these guys. chariots was easy.
 
made it to 13mi, the week before the LA marathon. 70% ligament tare. story of my life.
i break everything i touch.

professional trainer
worked out of venice beach... snail's pace? i forget he an his minion's name. the minion, was a real diamond... and... funny, guy; a storyteller.
 
so the pet store button drunk
 
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