I am so proud of my creation. May it live on infamy. I feel like the inventor of whatever bizarre and gross drink fraternities make pledges drink.
It's like emptying the bar mat below the taps. Empty that shit into a glass at last call. Don't forget the trash can.
Back in my drinking while bartending days, there was a IFoundJesus guy, complete with 'straight edge' tattoo's to show off his lack of sin. Or something. He didn't hang much but he joined us on his birthday, and proceeded to use his liquid courage to bow to peer pressure. First was a barmat shot, no vomit. Second was the Jackass Shot. Snort the salt, squeeze the lime into your eye, then take the shot. He snorted tequila out his nose, and started throwing up in the trash can. He picked up the trash can, carried it out the back door while still tossing chunks, and we never saw him again. No call/no showed the next two weeks, he moved the very next day.
/straight edge. So hardcore.
edit-
So a guy named X walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:
"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "X the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scorching weather, but do they call me "X the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "X the pier builder"? No!"
The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:
"but you have one sewer backup into your grow tent..."
double edit- ;)
