I didn't read this but... seemed appropriate
The Little Bird, The Cow and The Cat
Little bird was enjoying a flight in the the last rays of warmth for the day before settling down into his cozy nest for the night. As he dove and swooped across the sky, he noticed a flock of birds flying as though the devil himself was at their tail feathers.
“HEY!” he called. “Where are you going?”
“We’re flying south,” they called over their wings. “Winter’s coming and we have to be in South America before it hits!”
Little bird was puzzled. This was his first winter and he hadn’t heard of such things. “Why would you do that?” he asked.
“It’s going to get colder yet!” they called. “There’ll be no food! Now hurry or you won’t make it!”
Little bird waved them good-bye and considered what they’d said. He’d felt cold before in the dark of night and it wasn’t really that bad. He always just nestled further into his nest and fluffed his feathers around him and was fine. No food? With all of the other birds gone, there’d be plenty of food for him! Flying long distances was hard work and he’d fare much better staying behind! His mind was made up.
He was right, for a while. Little bird was living high on the land with the other birds down south. There was plenty to eat in the dying fields and the bugs were slow from the cold. He lay back in his nest, fat and happy, laughing at the silly birds who had gone south.
The next morning, he wasn’t laughing. He awoke to freezing rain pelting down on his nest, rudely awakening him from his restless sleep. It was c*o*l*d. He shuddered and pulled his feathers closely around him, but he still could not shake off the chill that permeated his little bones. Shit. He had to get south and get there fast. He took flight, trying without success to fly above the rain clouds. The higher he got, the colder it got. He felt ice forming on his wings and he panicked as he began a downward spiral. He hit the ground hard.
It was Little Bird’s darkest hour. Or so he thought. As he lay there on the frozen ground, the icy rain pelting onto him, he stared up at the gray skies and asked for help, from somewhere, anywhere. Unbeknownst to him, Little Bird had landed smack in the middle of a cow pasture. Old Bossy Cow was feeling quite an urge and she was making her way through the sleet and rain and let go with a pie of epic proportions, which landed, ripe and steaming, right onto Little Bird.
“Fine,” he thought. “Just fine. As if injury was not enough, now he had a hot pile of insult all over him. As Little Bird lay, defeated, in the pile of cow shit, he found, to his surprise, that the heat from the cow plop was thawing out his wings. (?!) His tiny bones and muscles soaked up the warmth and soon he was feeling just fine again. It was a miracle…the very one he’d asked the heavens to send. He was so overjoyed, that he began to sing, “Oh Happy Day! Oh Happy Day!”
In the barn, not far away, Old Tabby Cat was curled up in a pile of hay, dreaming of spring when the birds would return and he would have warm food instead of cold, hard Friskies. Suddenly, his ears perked and his head shot up. “What? Could it be??” Curious, he padded out of the barn and cocked his head. “HA!” Evidently, some bird had NOT flow south. What could it have been thinking? He rushed out into the rain to investigate. He came upon Little Bird, singing for all he was worth from the middle of a pile of cow shit. Old Tabby Cat did not let his puzzlement keep him from swinging into action.
“Pssst,” he said, “Little Bird, what are you doing in that pile of cow shit?”
Little Bird laughed. “I was DYING here in the icy rain and that cow over there saved me! It was amazing!”
“Wow. That is absolutely fascinating,” OTC purred. But I can’t help but notice that you are covered in cow shit now. Can I lend a hand? Let me pull you out and help you get cleaned up. Then you can really enjoy your new lease on life!”
Little Bird was jubilant. Not only had he been saved from the jaws of death in a most unexpected way, but he’d been helped again by a most unlikely source. He reached out his wing and OTC hoisted him onto his back, grimacing at the still warm cow plop droppings that were sinking into his fur. Little Bird rode the cat back to the barn, where he was taken to the horse stables. The bodies of many of the large animals had made this part of the barn the warmest and Little Bird happily dove into a puddle of water and began washing his wings. After he was perfectly clean, OTC helped him settle down into the warm hay until he was perfectly dry. Little Bird settled into a comfy sleep, whereupon, Old Tabby Cat promptly ate him.
The Moral of the Story:
*Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
*Not everyone who helps you is your friend.
*If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth closed.
