Ok , so one of you started talking about wolf piss , and mentiond me , cool,
But then as I read it , exactly the same moment I finished reading the sentence , my phone rang....
What a coincidence , now I'm going to share a ridiculous yet some wat funny story about pee , urine , piss , whatever you prefer......
I've been taking care of my dad on and off for the past decade , but since I'm out of the country , he's got a house keeper , companion , nurse that looks after him , I got him hooked on growing years ago , he love smoking ands been doing it since the 80's ? He's 93 now and just stopped his closet grow about 2 years ago , so now you guys have an idea of how much longer you'll be at it .....
Only problem is he used to fuck up every grow , because he was lazy and one of those old men who knew everything , I mean to him , nobody could get his respect , he did his own dental work because the dentist was an idiot , never went to the doctor because they were full of shit , did his own plumbing , electrical work repair anything and everything , breaking shit and half assed fix on everything , no insurance , no license , just a crazy old dude .....
Kind of like a dean Martin , Sammy Davis Jr. Generation rat pack mentality , loved the ladies , turned into mr charming every time a young girl passed by , one day I was looking for him and some sexy young neighbor tells me he's in the kitchen fixing her refrigerator .....
He didn't know a fucking thing about repairing appliances.....
And anything I explained to him about growing , he would intentionally not do just to piss me off,
Timer , unplugged , inline fan unplugged , water , feed , nah , doesn't need it ....I mean I never saw anything like it , he would leave lights on burn plants do the craziest shit and somehow always come up with a smoke able couple of ounces , then drying , holy shit , hang , dry , brown bag , nope ....just cut the buds and throw in the freezer and cure em later after they were defrosted .....
He did weird shit and frustrated me and everyone else , looking back I think it just gave him pleasure to drive his family nuts.....
It was about 2 years ago , I decided to paint his entire apartment and put down a new floor , he was having fun helping me , he smoked a joint and when we were finished he sat back on the couch , I said hey pop , nice job , and he says " what are you talking about "
I said do you like the new floor and paint , he says huh ? What paint
Then I thought he was fucking with me and I say ok , no prob , then I ask again 20 min later and ask , are you fucking with me ?
He had a blank look in his eyes , so next day I take him to the doctor , and the doctor tells me , yea don't worry , it's just early dementia....
I've been dealing with this crazy normal / not normal behavior for 2 years so far ...and he's doing the weirdest shit , every time I have the housekeeper turn the tv on for him he watches it , then un plugs the tv from the wall , then he unplugs the lights then the fridge , and when I call him the next day he tells me everything in the house is broken , so I get my brother to drill plates over every socket , last time I went to visit him it was 98 dig in August , so I put a window air cond in the high rise apartment he lives in , come back a week later it's gone , I asked him what the hell happened to the air cond , he shrugs his shoulders and says , ugh I unplugged it , yea but where the hell is it ? He tells me someone took it or it might have fallen out the window......
I could go on endlessly about is worsening condition , but it's not that bad , he's got part time help and though never seen a dr he's pretty healthy at 93
Last time I saw him he told me he's done with cloths , their too annoying so he walks around all day in a pair of stretched out fruit of the loom boxers with a pack of cigarettes in the waistband , my wife keeps asking him to get dressed and he just starts cracking up laughing , it's nuts
It was about 2 years ago when I visited , he offers me a glass of Hawaiian Punch , for those of you guys old enough to know ,Hawaiian punch was the cool summer drink of 1980
Used to be a funny commercial on tv , how bout a nice Hawaiian Punch , you can YouTube it .....
So I take the glass and it's orange like Hawaiian Punch but smells more like Hawaiian piss....
I put it down , then I dump it down the toilet
About 20 min later , my wife tells me , go check out your dad , he's standing in the kitchen peeing into a glass...
So I say hey dad , what are you doing , he says " nothing " I tell him , your not doing nothing , your peeling into a kitchen glass .....
Then I figure he's just having a weird day , and I let it go , but at that moment I realize he's getting a little wacky so I install some security cameras in the home to keep an eye on him , and sure enough , he's peeing in a glass everyday and leaving it all over the house ,
I asked him why he keeps doing that and he tells me someone took the toilet out of the bathroom and he knows what he's doing ......
But he's in the kitchen , and the toilet is working fine .....
So at the exact moment that you guys were talking about wolf piss , the nurse / housekeeper
Calls me long distance and tells me , everything's great except the pee problem , but she got a giant beer mug and told him it's the new toilet , very proud of herself ....
Wonderful getting old
Don't drink any Hawaiian Punch if I offer it ....
Hope you guys saw the humor and not grossed out ....