Thanks for all the love guys. I have one request:
Let's not make this about scapegoating other people, be it them not liking me, or politics, or whatever.
It takes two to tango and I played my part in what went down. I don't want this thread to be about airing dirty laundry.
Beyond that, if I do decide to come back (if/when the underlying circumstances change) I don't want
ANY of the threads/posts I start/involve myself with to be about this type of thing in the future. This never should've been what the farm was about for me or for anyone else, and I screwed that up as much as anyone.
The tango saw several of us losing sight of that. I lost out because others have paid more dues than I have, it's as simple as that--and if the shoe had been on the other foot I can't say I wouldn't have agreed with it. The grass is always greener, as they say.
This type of thing is a big part of why I have to leave now and why my blood pressure slowly rises while I'm here. I just want it to go back to being about peace, love, and helping each other--and that's why I had to check out, because I ruined that
for myself.
There is no blame game to be played here, and even if there is its my wish to see it squashed before it starts. It won't help to change the things I'd like to see changed, and it won't help to prevent someone else from experiencing what I did.
So if you really appreciate what I offered here, then show it by being gracious--as I'm trying to be. Trust that its difficult for me, too.
Love you guys and I can't tell you how much all of what you've said has lifted my spirits. I wish things were different.
Those of you who have praised my scientific and logical nature have made me feel wonderful. This was the legacy and reputation that was really important to me here. The rest of it is just a bunch of bullshit.
I don't think we can hope bridge the gap you leave but those of us who love science will do our best to take the torch.
SuperCan, the one guy who doesn't know me has hit the nail on the head in terms of what my wishes are with regard to this. The best flattery is imitation. Keep it logical and don't let the people who make shit up, and make guesses about things which can be known implicitly, ruin other people's plants for their lack of want to read a book. This is how you can honor me (and how you might even win me back someday!).
I don't want to say goodbye. I value our friendship too much for that.
The feeling is mutual times one million dude. Drop me a line in a PM with your email, or hit me up for mine if that makes you more comfortable. A sesh with you in the future would be a cherished life accomplishment so far as I'm concerned.
The same honestly goes for the rest of you as well.
Peace!