Growing up as a child I was diagnosed by a team of doctors to have adhd. Not sure my age maybe 4-5yrs old. They ran many tests on my brain, behavior, psychology etc. Not like today where you go to your doctor and they decide right away your condition. Maybe my parents would know more. Memories are limited at that age
Over the years they had me on dexadrine, ritalin, adderal, Strattera. The problem with these drugs was that it removed my personality from the equation growing up. Sort of disassociating myself from myself. It removed emotion, impulses, feelings, thoughts, bheavier and worst of all personality. just made me a zombie with super focus. While increasing rationality, logic, focus.
The drugs pretty much controlled my behavior until I was 18 when I decided to stop taking them because legally my parents couldn't make me anymore. Nor did they want to at that point I think. (Not blaming them, they were just doing what the doctor told them/what they thought would help). Little did they know how much it affected my life permanently.
Since the drugs controlled my behavior.
When I went off them I had to learn for the first time in 18yrs personal control. This was a tough task because this was the point where my personality came out. It was basically like starting as a child, but as an adult.
It took me a few years of staying up late with friends. Losing jobs from calling in sick. Having fun. Not really having a solid place to live before I started to get ahold of myself.
I considered this my exploration stage.
I had to follow my whims in hopes that it would lead me to who I am & what I like/want out of life.
I had been turned into a logical, rational, thinking machine from all the adhd drugs.
But simple things would distract and derail my train of thoughts due to lack of impulse control. My thoughts would go in a thousand different directions all at once (still do) I have learned to control it somewhat to my advantage, But sometimes I cant.
Nowadays I have learned that I have super focus if I do 1 thing at a time. And if I have motivation to do things I'm passionate about that focus gets intense.
The worst long term effects. we're things like lack of emotion, hard time empathizing with people.
Very neutral personality.
My emotional highs and lows have smaller peaks but stay closer to 0 (neutral) %90 of the time.
Some people consider me blunt, direct, an ass, jackass, dick lol.
I have no problem saying what I think and very directly. No skirting the issues. People nowadays aren't used to cutting through the bullshit and getting to the point. I am very opinonated. I am not a yes man.
It is mostly because I am a very littoral, factual, logical person.
So it is hard for people to figure out how or why I came to my conclusions without me saying them out loud.
I was drug, cigarettes & alcohol free (except pharmaceuticals for adhd growing up) until around 20yrs of age. (To this day I've never smoked a cigarette.
I got to a point where asking people what drugs were like wasn't enough explanation. I would have to physically experience them to truly understand them & unlock the relevant info people had described over the years. So I decided to try a few things a small number of times ea. To better understand
My first was just a beer.
I learned that alcohol wasn't my thing. Never has been, so I rarely do it Only on special occasions. Noticed immediately how much easier it was for me to speak my mind though (lack of inhibition).
I then tried mushrooms maybe 2-3x. I learned that things that unlocked my mind were things I enjoyed. They allowed me to delve deep into my own psyche to see what was beneath it all.
I tried acid maybe twice.
It was then I felt like my third eye had been opened. Everything in the world just made sense afterwards. But once enlightened didn't feel the need to seek it out again. Maybe if I need spiritual guidance in the future. But then I'd just try peyote.
Last on the list was weed.
Since I had never smoked cigarettes ever. I had a hard time learning how to smoke lol.
It took me 3-4 times experiencing it just to understand what I was feeling. But I knew in a short time it was the drug for me.
It calmed down my thoughts to the level of a normal person which was great. It was awesome to get peace of mind after so many years of going in a thousand directions.
The next thing I liked was how much more emotionally connected I was with the world. My high and low peaks were much larger. Happy times I can be very elated. Bad times I can feel very down.
These were things I was unaccustomed to. It was a new learning curve.
I also noticed that I could feel what another person is feeling without them saying it. Often times would know what they would say before they said it.
It proved to give me a much stronger connection between the people I interacted with. But it also applied to plants and animals as well.
I was a c-section baby. Science claims babies inherit their bacteria that populates their gut from the mother when passing through the birth canal. And when removed via c-section they don't inherit said bacteria for gut population.
I get nausea from day to day most of my life. Which has been been interfering with my ability to eat consistantly.
When I smoke though it instantly calms my stomach and allows me to intake more calories on a daily basis (I've always been on the lean side bmi 22).
Yogurt, kombucha, cottage cheese, and bacteria filled foods help too.
So all in all I've discovered that cannabis has too many upsides in My life for it not to be a part of it.
I smoke almost all year round.
But every year I tend to stop for a few months during winter to clear my head and body for a while (currently it's been over a month). maybe 2 more or so to go.
I would recommend it to anyone & trust me I do when it's appropriate.
Evolution dictates that plants can adapt to interact with certain species in certain ways.
And I believe that we have evolved side by side with this plant for many years.
I believe it has many wonderful properties to offer to us. Medicinally, psychologicaly, physically, spiritually, emotionally.
With how easy it is to start and stop when needed. I don't consider it a hard drug, or even a drug that causes problems.
I hope it stays a part of mankind forever into the future.
And when we die out maybe another species can come along and find the value inside of it.
End philosophical rant...