Curmudgeonland...home Of The Old Farts Club

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Freshone

Freshone

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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.

"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.

The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pounds king crab and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!"
 
Hippie

Hippie

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Survived beer day once again. Just kickin' back thinking about weird shit I did in my younger days.
Back in '76, the OH and I went to FL in February. We were kickin' it by the pool, higher than shit, when a gal a bit older than we were came over with a warning. She said the entire East Texas high school cheerleading team was in the hotel and heading for the pool. She'd warned all the parents with kids at the pool to be prepared for some young, boisterous females blowing off steam from some competition they'd been in. I smiled and said I'd appreciate the view.
True to her word, a shit load of nubile young teenage blondes walked in and pretty much took over the entire pool. Loud and rowdy as hell, just like any other group of teenagers.
Wife looked at me and asked if I was ready to head back for our room. I begged off long enough to head to the snack machine, grab a Baby Ruth, unwrap it and tucked it under my arm, and hop in the pool for one last rinse off.
I went back to the lounger and waited. When those gals notices what they thought was a turd at the bottom of the pool, the whole place erupted into screams and emptied out like you'd tossed a grenade. Peace and quiet, once again.
 
M

mendel

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Im near done now so it doesnt matter......but.............I have cow windbreaks to build before the snow flies next yr, same deal poles and tin, will get me an impact driver for sure. I bet they have em at the john deere store, in the dewalt section, or can order one.
 
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