How To Pass Drug Tests

  • Thread starter Munchy
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stickyicky

stickyicky

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Thanks kushndabs. I plan on trying some cbd, but I don't see how you could pass a cannabis drug test. These plants still have thc in them. Where can I get some pure cbd oil from? I am very interested in cbd and have been reading about the benefits on neuropathy pain. It makes sense seeing the cbd affects on seizure's. I have been given anti seizure meds such as nuerotin and lyrica which do provide some relief. I just can't stand the side affects such as headaches, memory loss and other issues. I do plan on getting some plants high in cbd and growing it myself. I am pretty sure harborside in Oakland carries them?

I am still testing positive after 2 months, 12 days, 4 hours, 36 minutes and 15 seconds (but who is counting?).
I am sure this is due to frequency / potency. A friend told me it was all of 90 days for him to test clean. I will post when I test clean. Keep in mind everyone is different. I am a little over weight and that does not help knowing that thc is stored in fat cells. Only time will tell.
 
ronvmpc

ronvmpc

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I am sorry for what I posted earlier in this thread. For some reason it's not letting me delete it. I understand the need for an alternate source of medication under a situation where you are being drug tested. It won't let me edit that post but just wanted my apology to be know.
 
Munchy

Munchy

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Wow, sorry I've been away from the site for awhile, and missed all these replies to the thread... I thought I'd get notifications in my email or something.

I realize there are many different situations people find themselves in... sometimes getting very short-notice, and not having a month to get naturally clean... and I firmly believe that testing for employment and probation are totally different things, and should be treated as such. Personally, I am an actual medical-marijuana user, I need this medicine for my Colitis/IBS/Diverticulitis/Spastic Colon to get through the pain every day, I tried all kinds of prescriptions, and they all sucked big-time... so cannabis is the only thing that really helps, although it could get me fired, since having a medical card is no legal excuse when it comes to employment, and it's really more like a big joke to most people. I realize there are a lot of mmj posers out there, and many recreational users with limited willpower to abstain when they should, but yeah, I know for a fact that I'd be in really bad shape without it.
 
Calixylon

Calixylon

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With today's methods, it's almost impossible to pass a test unless your using fake urine. I stopped smoking for over 2 months and was still dirty. This was along with exercise, water, diuretics, and laxatives. Water isn't very effective 2o to 25 percent is excreted thru you urine, the other 75 to 80 is thru feces. Time is the only true way to be sure, especially if you smoke like most people from the farmer it will be a minimum of 30 days, most likely more if your using hash or oil, then more like 60 days
 
DC105

DC105

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I've had 2 randoms. Working in the healthcare comes great responsibilities and accountability. So, randoms are not uncommon.

Here's my story....
My director came and got me early one morning and told me I was the lucky winner of a random drug test. Sweating my ass off trying to stay cool, I said okay let's do this. So here I am sitting in employee health trying to figure out a way to pass this test knowing I'm dirty. I came up with this idea of I just went and I can't go now now, I need to drink some water. The nurse gave me 4 ounces and said that I could have that every 30 minutes until I pee.
And then, ,boing! my pager goes off that we are having a pediatric arrest coming in the peds they ER. I showed her and she said fine, but someone will come in and watch u pee. Lol, ok!
Come to find out it was only a kid having seizures. So I immediately drank my energy drink and downed as much water as possible. I went a few times and then back to employee health I went and my was urine was as clear as water. This was with a dude standing looking at my @!#$. so I hiked one leg up and gave it the Captain Morgan pose and stared at him while I went. Because it's big. If a urine is too diluted it will be failed, but they have to retest you. So two weeks later when results came back I was ready with my synthetic urine. It was funny because they thought they were surprisI think the big man upstairs helped bail me out of that one. I promised him I would never smoke again.
so later on that night when I was taking a few bong hits. I was able to chuckle at the whole thing.
20150304 090141
 
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Prettyone

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Thanks Munchy for putting together very helpful information. Friend of mine has a long beautiful curly hair. For her hair drug test, she did not want to bleach and dye her hair. I was searching for her something less hair damaging way. I wanted to share what I found this helpful information here http://detoxmarijuanafast.com/how-t...rijuana-3-effective-methods-that-can-help-you.
She used the method called Nexxus Aloe Rid Treatment. It is not cheap, but it did work. And her hair was not damaged. She passed her test and got her new job.:)
 
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foggymcfibro

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Munchy, I'm with youI have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia after many years of Migraines/Restless legs/Insomnia/fatigue/vertigo/anxiety;panic; depression....and all doctors want to do is shove big pharma down my throat, which with a horrible flare up is like dispensing me meds from a tweety bird pez head. even though I can legally get my "green" card It won't mean shit when it comes to my "hopefully" next employer. I'm an RN. I had a sudden fibro flare up and instead of filling my body with organ killing meds, I took a mmj pill. today I woke up to a call back for a job interview thats on friday. I don't use it often, but I have toppers that test.
 
B

BblbeltMadns

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5'8" 235 (ding!)

This is easily the most informative and best organized information on passing a drug test that I've found; At least, conceptually speaking being I have not gone through this process yet. Though, I'm about too.

I have a urine analysis that I'll have to take in a minimum of 37 days clean. I'm concerned that I'm going to be on the back end of the 30 days mean approximation. So, I'm going to do the natural detox portion of the OP.

I'd like to partially dilute but I'm not sure if I'll have that opportunity because I may not know the exact day I'll have it.

My question is, is it safe to assume that the THC metabolite stops producing when the psychoactive THC is cleared from the body? When does the body stop making the metabolite?
 
SupaM

SupaM

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Great info! I have a pre-employment hair test in the near future(2-3wks), and have not used in 2 weeks. I will definitely apply some of what I have read, and report back. ATB!
 
lemons

lemons

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My method has always been to acquire clean pee day of and put it in an aquarium nutrient bottle, a small one with a nib that opens and closes. Use fishing line to string it to your under pants and place toasty toes on each side. Toasty toes are incredible, they're like hot hands but the size of a quarter and adhesive!

Gotta try this Monday with some out of the freezer. Wish me luck.
 
SupaM

SupaM

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Great info! I have a pre-employment hair test in the near future(2-3wks), and have not used in 2 weeks. I will definitely apply some of what I have read, and report back. ATB!
Sooooo, after not smoking for just about four weeks, using a 3 part Purifying shampoo, as well as taking a flush just before testing....I failed and did not get the job I wanted so badly. I was devastated with the results, but hey, my fault for not quitting earlier. IMHO, Don't just rely on some product, particularly Zydot Ultra Clean Shampoo. I followed the directions to the letter, used a new hair brush, and a clean shirt to be sure I didn't contaminate my hair before the test, but still failed. I'll try again in six months I suppose. ATB!
 
Calixylon

Calixylon

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I failed on the fake pee which they say they'll "re I burse" you but the amount of money you lost out on cuz you were relying on said product sucks. My results came back as synthetic urine, something about it not having the right amount of hormones, but I also went to jail because I heard those drinks masked you urine, guess not, had a feeling it wouldn't work but there's always those people claiming it worked for them, that's why they still can charge a ton of cash for that shit.

Sorry about your job, sucks we live in a country where your allowed to drink yourself retarded and do hard drugs assuming you have a few days heads up. Hope you can find a new job which isn't so strict, I recently left my job and now am worried I'll have to pass another test, hopefully if I get employment In Maine they may look upon my medical card, but I took a job where I thought that smoking wasn't a big deal, well it turned out to be and I had to walk out because the owner was just a complete ass, and used the fact I had a medical card to basically rag on me. That was upsetting because it was at a local pottery shop and if I had endured it, I may have learned some great stuff. But screw crappy work places, youl find something better.
 
Camdawg

Camdawg

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I failed on the fake pee which they say they'll "re I burse" you but the amount of money you lost out on cuz you were relying on said product sucks. My results came back as synthetic urine, something about it not having the right amount of hormones, but I also went to jail because I heard those drinks masked you urine, guess not, had a feeling it wouldn't work but there's always those people claiming it worked for them, that's why they still can charge a ton of cash for that shit.

Sorry about your job, sucks we live in a country where your allowed to drink yourself retarded and do hard drugs assuming you have a few days heads up. Hope you can find a new job which isn't so strict, I recently left my job and now am worried I'll have to pass another test, hopefully if I get employment In Maine they may look upon my medical card, but I took a job where I thought that smoking wasn't a big deal, well it turned out to be and I had to walk out because the owner was just a complete ass, and used the fact I had a medical card to basically rag on me. That was upsetting because it was at a local pottery shop and if I had endured it, I may have learned some great stuff. But screw crappy work places, youl find something better.
Wouldn't him ragging on you possibly qualify as illegal since its private medical info? Just a thought
 
SupaM

SupaM

83
33
I failed on the fake pee which they say they'll "re I burse" you but the amount of money you lost out on cuz you were relying on said product sucks. My results came back as synthetic urine, something about it not having the right amount of hormones, but I also went to jail because I heard those drinks masked you urine, guess not, had a feeling it wouldn't work but there's always those people claiming it worked for them, that's why they still can charge a ton of cash for that shit.

Sorry about your job, sucks we live in a country where your allowed to drink yourself retarded and do hard drugs assuming you have a few days heads up. Hope you can find a new job which isn't so strict, I recently left my job and now am worried I'll have to pass another test, hopefully if I get employment In Maine they may look upon my medical card, but I took a job where I thought that smoking wasn't a big deal, well it turned out to be and I had to walk out because the owner was just a complete ass, and used the fact I had a medical card to basically rag on me. That was upsetting because it was at a local pottery shop and if I had endured it, I may have learned some great stuff. But screw crappy work places, youl find something better.
Definitely sucked as it's hard to get on with these folks...shelled out close to $100 to help pass the hair test, as well as flushed, but it didn't work out. Those hair test are tough to beat, and I'm still looking so I've not smoked in almost two months now. I am in the process of getting a refund for the shampoo, but I lost out on a decent salary in return($60-70K). You live and learn though..if it had been a urine test I would have been fine, but the hair test is more thorough. These employers have the wrong focus IMO, but we have to play the game I suppose. Sux to not smoke all summer though that's for sure. Thanks for well wishes, same to you! ATB!
 
lemons

lemons

487
93
Using hit hands and a rubber band, my pee was the appropriate temp today. Now I just have to hope there isn't an abnormal level of ammonia in it.

Supa, that's rough man. I've always heard hair tests are impossible to dupe, I hope you figure somethin out homie.
 
tobh

tobh

Supporter
4,211
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Yeah there's no sure fire way to pass a hair follicle test. Best bet would be to shave every inch of your body after a couple weeks of not smoking and not smoke until after being tested. Otherwise they'll find some record of usage. The process they use for that testing is incredible, really a marvel concept. Just fucked up we have to go to such levels.

Considering this thread was started a couple years ago, does anyone know if aspirin is still effective in providing false negatives on an EMIT strip test? I'm looking at a test potentially this week, haven't smoked since this past friday. Prior to I had only been taking one or two hits at night to ease myself off to sleep. I intend on diluting, obviously, after purchasing some synthetic urine that I don't particularly trust for quality. Also trying to decide on a solid source of creatine aside from a supplement. Have B complex available and been eating a lot of raw vegetables and fruits. Being on the healthier side of things feels good but I am concerned it's affecting my metabolite levels negatively. Figure if I show up being too dilute or having a positive result, I'll contest the validity of the test and request a second one. As it is I'm not even sure I will be tested this week. Last time I cleaned up it took 2 weeks to barely pass. Weight ~120lbs. 5'6" excellent metabolism and exercise fairy regularly. Not a lot of cardio though, kind of defeats what I'm trying to do which is gain weight. Either way, I want to be sure I take any steps possible to ensure my own urine doesn't blow this opportunity, I absolutely need this job. Damn the nation we live in, having to be so concerned because of something so harmless aside from if you get caught with it or piss dirty.
 
SupaM

SupaM

83
33
Definitely drink as much water as possible. Cranberry juice is also a good natural flush for urine test. Hell, I'm even staying away from second hand smoke these days lol. Good luck!
 

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