I hear you lmao mama bear is the ultimate force to be reckoned with. I'm in the midst of brainstorming my own for next run as well. I'll just put this up for you to brainstorm over as well. Pappy Zan can come back in the morning and look things over and/or make other suggestions. I don't know the lengths of hoses you'll need, but the most basic idea is:
Submersible pump(size depends on the length and amount of lines)
1/2" tubing(connects to submersible pump and can also be used as a manifold)
1/2" T Barb(s) to help create a circle or square shaped manifold in the grow area with 1/2" tubing
1/4" tubing(drip lines)
Drip Hole punch(for drip irrigation to punch holes where you want to install the 1/4" tubing)
1/4" barb connectors(they connect the 1/4" drip ling to the 1/2" manifold)
1/4" drip stakes
Here are some pictures. Not mine. I forget where I got them so credit can't be given. Sorry unknown hero.
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That's about the most basic way to go. Instead of using 1/2" line for the manifold some people connect the 1/2" line from the submersible pump onto a barb that is connected to a 3/4" pvc manifold instead. I don't know if it make much of a difference but if mamabear doesn't get maim you I would get Flor Caps(1 for each plant) and Flora clips(2 for each plant) instead boring old drip stakes.