Marijuana and Alcoholsim, my story

[chickenman]

I am a recovering alcoholic,10 yrs sober. My drinking was killing me. No matter what i did AA meetings 2 30 day treatments in Hosp., just could not quit drinking. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. During the holiday season I sobered up for a few weeks. Someone left a gift wrapped 6 pack of beer on my porch, that was all it took, off the wagon I went. I drank over 20 to 30 beers that night and became so sick I puked up lots of blood, happened before, but this time I really scared me. I told my gal, she said enoughs enoughs your choice it was her or the suds. Once again I promised never again, went to AA, cried, prayed, white knuckled it out. A few weeks later we took a drive our west kinda looking for properties. we turned off highway, up this mesa and the 1st for sale sign we saw, looked good. I went to door and the old man said get an agent. his wife invited me inside nothing special inside. I went out back and walked the property and was soon overwhelmed by the most beautiful place ive ever seen. I broke out in tears and had gosebumps, i knew this was where I belong and asked God to help me. I knew i would not be worthy of this if i continued to drink. We did get the agent my gal loved it as well. I called my father for advise and a loan for earnest money to sign contract. He didnt go for it, cant blame him I was a mees and he knew it. My gal belived in me. she put her paid for house on market and within 24 hrs had a contract. We put earnest money on credit card and signed contract to move. I called my dad and told him, he said if its in my heart we have his blessings good luck. I also asked him to be my best man at our wedding 6 months later. We moved all ready for the big day however my father had a stroke 1 week before and was in bad shape. I went to visit him he came around we talked hugged, I left him and he died 1 day before the big day.We proceeded with our plans at Gala Gardens in Denver, I was a sober mess. During the ceremony the lady doing the vows asked for my fathers presents to show itself and at that moment a butterfly landed on my chest right on my heart. After more tears, hugs handshakes a thunderstorm roared thru briefly. His blessing. I still get goosebumps and tears of joy here almost daily. Mj has helped as the safer alternative and Ive replaced one drug for another but there no misery, doubt, fear, hopelessness, life so so good and iam so thankful for my loving wife, my garden chickens, goats, heallth, my blessings are endless. So dont be afraid to follow and listen to your heart and do what you think is right no matter how impossible it may seem mircles do happen it happend to me it can happen to you Thanks all for letting me share this. it s does my just as much good as i hope it does you Peace CM



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[OGONLY]

Wow Chickenman, touching story bro... Sorry about your dad...that had to be super tough bro. Amazing how the butterfly came down. God's watching over you bro.

Stay away from that booz Chickenman. Sounds like you have a good woman bro. You're gonna be a happy man if you just stay off the sauce and keep her happy. Everything else will fall into place.

Good luck bro!

 

[swisscheese]

Thanks for sharing this will help a lot of people fighting the same battle to win like you did! It's always good to hear about people's dreams coming true with hard work, dedication, and some motivation.

 

[chickenman]

Still one day at a time, some are better than others but if I just dont take that 1 st sip Ill make it. See its like a boxer who goes into the ring and everytime gets knocked out, EVERYTIME IT KICKS MY ASS!! So for me its not worth takin that sip. another miracle, I get strong urges for a beer. I never drank swag beer, Sunshine Wheat, New Belguim one of my favs., I can taste it now. A quick prayer... Please remove this I cant let it win and the urge is gone for days. Used to be all I ever thought or cared about was my nexr beer....Off to milk goats for what I call Goatweiser white beer....no hangover way better...Hashdube all ready to burn!!

 

[chickenman]

Thought Id bump this up. Its a good reminder to me of what Ive done in life and makes me strong.
In 3 weeks I will hopefully will achive 11 years sober from alcohol.
Its been a great ride some days are better than others. Probaly would have not lasted much longer if I continued to guzzle, I did not just drink beer I guzzled beer after beer after beer.
Again for any of you battling demonds keep fighting never give up hope.
Many considered me hopeless and never thought I could not stem the flow of beer going down my gullet.
I still to this day am amazed and proud of myself and its OK to pat myself on my back and take pride in myself for overcomming my demonds and becoming a worthy person, still one day at a time, must remember Ill never be cured.
Thanks all for letting me rant away. It helps me stay grounded and If I can help others by sharing my story realize that what seems impossible may not be if you believe in yourself........ one day at a time... CM

 

[canaguy27]

Keep it up CM! We are all proud of you. Thanks again for sharing.

 

[Mogrow]

sober or dead and bloated// it's your choice bro... u know that. congratulations on upcoming sober date. celebrated my 20th year sober 10/4/11. i've got the date tatooed on my leg so i don't forget...
go milk a goat...
peace mogrow...

 

[chickenman]

Thanks all. Its been great ride....

 

[kolah]

Cool story and the butterfly incident was awesome.

There are so many people battling alcoholism. Hopefully your story will inspire others to kick the addiction.

Being half American Indian I have little tolerance for booze. One beer or one glass of wine is it for me. Anymore than that and I have a 2 day hangover. It's not worth it at all. I'll stay with the gentleness of MJ .

 

[sky high]

It's a nasty drug that is far too available and accepted in our society.

I didn't drink much til I moved to SkiTown and ended up working on a crew of 30 guys. EVERY night we'd hit the bar and pound 'em down.

My drink was a double margarita. The bar we went to always had a special on 'em. Ooops!
Second fav....skiing with the bota full of Rumple mintz and a 12 pack in the backpack.
I worked on the mountain for years and skiied everyday....with 3 days a week off that was always spent on the hill pounding beers and smoiking joints on the chair and terrorizing the tourons whenever possible....... and of course.... in the bar "apres ski".

Fell off and on a few imes after I got the same "ultimatum' from the wife....and with every misstep it all became clearer and clearer that all was left in that bottle was misery and trouble. Sometime in '95 or so I stopped altogether.

I've drank a few times since...never enjoying it and always being affected for DAYS afterwards....depression...kinda sick....just not right.

I don't miss it and I don't like to be around drunks/drinkers anymore....fuckin belligerent folks...one and all....

like I say.....a damn nast drug that needs far more regulation and RESPECT (IMO)

be well my friend

s h

 

[chickenman]

Thanks Sky.
Backin the day the bartender would cut me offf. I would guzzle other peeps drinks when they were not looking. They would catch on after a 1/2 dozen or so and that would really piss em off....

 

[sky high]

I still see "Tom"...the bartender/owner who mixed my margs...in the grocery store or at the PO.....and he'll always look at me and say "Double marg with salt on the rim"....even though it was the mid 80's/25 years ago when I was in his establishment on a daily basis.

a least I wasn't on drugs tho!

 

[chickenman]

Its pretty fucking amazing IMO.
Yesterday I saw a commercial for Sam Adams new beer some sorta champagne like beer. I drank real beer, not coors or Bud. They poured a glass the color, the foam, it looked so good I swear I could taste it. I call that stinkin thinkin, still happens allways will. I have to totaly surrender to the fact I will loose evertime I take that 1st sip, each time it gets worse and worse. I am not too religous, however theres someone watching over and protecting me for some reason. So when the stinkin thinkn occurs a quick prayer asking to remove these desires and its gone. Days go by without thinkin drinkin and it blows my mind to have that senerity finally after all those years of being pretty sick and tired....Thanks for letting me share and for your support and encourgment. Really helps me keep on track...CM

 

[JAHGYDI]

5 months no alcohol for me. feeling good and thinking more clearer.

 

[chickenman]

5 months no alcohol for me. feeling good and thinking more clearer.

Awesome...Aint it great waking up not hungover? Think how much money youve saved in those 5 months. Think about how others see and think of you. Think about how your body is not dealing with this toxic substance and how healthy you will be. Think about the positive aspects of soberity before you take that 1st sip.
For me its still one day at a time. did not drink yesterday, wont drink today,tomorrow will come will deal with that then, but just for today, no beer...Keepin it simple... It can be done....

 

[mal]

Great Story

That story brought tears to my eyes, and the butterfly was amazing. Hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday season



mal

 

[winta]

im also in tears right now....my father was an alcoholic and passed away in 07....he was in and out of aa 90day rehab VA rehab but he always went back....even when he was dyin from cancer in his last month of life he was drinkin! so i applaud u chickenman and anyone who can catch themselves before its too late....stay strong and dont fuck with nobody who will get u off track cuz they are no good to u...

 

[chickenman]

stay strong and dont fuck with nobody who will get u off track cuz they are no good to u...

Good advice. When I moved to this wonderland nobody knew me as a drunk. All my drinking buddies were left behind as well as those who witnessed the insanity, so nobody really knows about my past.
Folks really worry about having a glass of wine or a beer at our dinner parties. Since Iam rarely around it and they dont get drunk its no problem. I got plenty of good herb, who needs the sauce??
I got a fresh start and its working out better than I ever dreamed....

 

[winta]

wonderful to hear man! i cant wait till i can find a lil piece of paradise like u did :)

stay strong and dont fuck with nobody who will get u off track cuz they are no good to u...

Good advice. When I moved to this wonderland nobody knew me as a drunk. All my drinking buddies were left behind as well as those who witnessed the insanity, so nobody really knows about my past.
Folks really worry about having a glass of wine or a beer at our dinner parties. Since Iam rarely around it and they dont get drunk its no problem. I got plenty of good herb, who needs the sauce??
I got a fresh start and its working out better than I ever dreamed....

 

[putembk]

I have been married to the same woman since 1974 and there hasn't been a day go by that my wife couldn't take a bottle and chug it!! Together we fight off the demons and take each day one at a time. She apparently isn't as strong as some of you as she still falls off of the wagon when she thinks she can get away with it. I hate alcoholism it's a terrible disease and I hope that some day she will be able to go through life without addiction.