I whole heartedly wish you the best my friend.I have had quite a reckless , full throttle, no fcks given attitude for a couole years after m0 re awp0y mother lost her long battle with cancer. I hurt the ones I love the most.
I did real drugs and was dishonest. Long story short , she doesnt know how much hurt this plant has saves me from daily. Be it mental or physical pain.
I wake up @ 5 and sit in my room and water and smoke and chill for an hour to get my head right before work. Sometimes I blast music and jam out, but usually I just chill and look at them , trim , research.
Its all about the control and privacy of the indoor grow. But most of all for me its about having something to nurture and care for. She doesnt see it from a hobbyist stand point.
This room isnt ideal as far as smell and noise and location. But I havent bought medicine in months.
Its a sore subject at the moment. As long as I have medicine to get me by for a while I'm pulling the plug on Jan 1 .
Our first baby is due Jan 2nd. So I'm gonna have my hands full. In a good way.