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KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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KiLo, I do not know you, but those feelings and words are not unfamiliar in my life. Different circumstances.
Right now I would say you are in survival mode,or still in a great deal of pain due to the recent events.
You may or may not need help to get over this, if your State is like mine, you will get the help you need.
I vowed that I will help anyone after what I went thru, because that sense ,feeling of loss at such a trumatic level exhausts our ability at times to see our selfworth.
Right now you need support, you need your basic needs met, please do not neglect those things.
My house is open to all that that need saftey, food, warmth, a to rebuild a life. It is the only way I can " pay it forward"
Hahaha that's what I have been doing for years and I actually volunteer for a place called "pay it forward" IRONY
 
keiksweat

keiksweat

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Tis exactly what I am doing minus the tele
Shit bro,what you been doing with your time then?are you still working?I think if I found myself in your position now,with no ties,id up n leave.maybe,fresh start.its really hard the older we get to keep picking ourselves up,and shake ourselves off again.think id find it easier with some distance between me and were everything's went wrong. Your a survivor for sure k,I know you've been through a lot worse than this in the past already mate...
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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No idea what I have been doing, best way to describe it is I have just been "fucking off" but I am doing lil dumb shit like making rock pipes and making sure I don't really go off the deep end for good as for work bro I lost everything and I mean everything I own a backpack full of stuff now and I got that from the VA.
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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263
Ally of this I am sure is my fault for focusing 85% of my time on building a great life for my family leaving little time for eating sleeping and spending time with the family i lost. So I now just don't know what to do or rather if I even want to.
 
mancdank

mancdank

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Quick clarification Note for everyone. I burned my life down Metaphorically speaking not I lot my house on fire laughing and screaming BURN MOTHERFUCKER BUUUURRRN. Altho in retrospect that may have been the better option. Lmao
Bro I won't lie I had visions of u pissing on the ashes :) never judge a man by how hard he hits the floor but how fast he gets up again I've been through a few ruff times but each time I've bounced back bigger and higher. its all about mental state and mine is in them cases that of a rubber yoyo throw me down I bounce back and twat u in the face :)
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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263
Bro I won't lie I had visions of u pissing on the ashes :) never judge a man by how hard he hits the floor but how fast he gets up again I've been through a few ruff times but each time I've bounced back bigger and higher. its all about mental state and mine is in them cases that of a rubber yoyo throw me down I bounce back and twat u in the face :)
HahH true that my friend and how. So that right now is my issue however I am just like that myself but I have no idea honestly just what to do I guess I am at a fork in my road where I can keep moving forward and just be a successful grower person. I can go left and just fuck my life off and just not give a fuck anymore or I can go right and start on a whole new path all together and for some reason all I want to do is throw the fork away and get a knife so I can cut through the bull and get straight to the marrow. So I guess what I am saying is once you have tasted the nectar the fruit just never tastes as sweet again if you catch my meaning.
 
mancdank

mancdank

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Sounds to me she never deserved a guy that would focus all the energy like this I went through a similar thing around 15 years ago I threw my self into the 1 thing I always had a skill for that's my ganja we had a real good run made lots and lots of cash and I guess the rest is history the point being is u never know what's around the corner u obviously have skills growing to have a fancy certificate like that I'm more than sure if u focused none of this would be like it ever happend this I promise
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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Sounds to me she never deserved a guy that would focus all the energy like this I went through a similar thing around 15 years ago I threw my self into the 1 thing I always had a skill for that's my ganja we had a real good run made lots and lots of cash and I guess the rest is history the point being is u never know what's around the corner u obviously have skills growing to have a fancy certificate like that I'm more than sure if u focused none of this would be like it ever happend this I promise
Yeah but it will never be what I wanted there in lyes the issue @mancdank
 
mancdank

mancdank

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313
HahH true that my friend and how. So that right now is my issue however I am just like that myself but I have no idea honestly just what to do I guess I am at a fork in my road where I can keep moving forward and just be a successful grower person. I can go left and just fuck my life off and just not give a fuck anymore or I can go right and start on a whole new path all together and for some reason all I want to do is throw the fork away and get a knife so I can cut through the bull and get straight to the marrow. So I guess what I am saying is once you have tasted the nectar the fruit just never tastes as sweet again if you catch my meaning.
This is the thing with this game bro it can provide a very nice life style don't focus on the losses this I guarantee is the thing stopping u moving forward focus on tomorrow yesterday is over now
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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263
This is the thing with this game bro it can provide a very nice life style don't focus on the losses this I guarantee is the thing stopping u moving forward focus on tomorrow yesterday is over now
You are kinda hitting the head on the nail there bro where I am coming from on it tho. That is like saying focus on the winning lotto numbers and you will eventually figure them out.....
 
mancdank

mancdank

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313
Yeah but it will never be what I wanted there in lyes the issue @mancdank
Yeah but it will never be what I wanted there in lyes the issue @mancdank
I guess your right bro but worry and regret imho are the biggest wastes of time that any 1 can do its all about moving forward and doing the best that u can do with u have right now which granted doesn't sound like u have a lot but u have your health which is a great start
 
mancdank

mancdank

8,108
313
You are kinda hitting the head on the nail there bro where I am coming from on it tho. That is like saying focus on the winning lotto numbers and you will eventually figure them out.....
No bro what I'm saying is u already have the winning lotto numbers in your head and the skills in your hands last time I checked weed costs more per gram than gold u need a light a cutting and a bit of soil I'm sure the rest u could work out if u was in the UK I would send u a 1 light tent complete but I don't know how I would go about getting it to u
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

1,900
263
I guess your right bro but worry and regret imho are the biggest wastes of time that any 1 can do its all about moving forward and doing the best that u can do with u have right now which granted doesn't sound like u have a lot but u have your health which is a great start
I have my legs and arms and fingers my heart and half a brain my health has never been good born with birth defects cancer twice COPD now emphasima and recently diagnosed with an extremely rare blood disorder that is caused by a chance happening where everything in the environment must be perfect to let happen and don't think I will go into detail about now. So health I do not have. Due to the long fucked up road I have taken in life I often say I am living in a life of JOB
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

1,900
263
No bro what I'm saying is u already have the winning lotto numbers in your head and the skills in your hands last time I checked weed costs more per gram than gold u need a light a cutting and a bit of soil I'm sure the rest u could work out if u was in the UK I would send u a 1 light tent complete but I don't know how I would go about getting it to u
It would help to have water or electric power also for that to be of great help.. I bought a empty lot so I can build a hydroponic veg farm as for weed being worth more than gold HahahahHhabahbabahahhahhahahhahahhababbahba ok

If you own and operate a Dispensar maybe but then you still have a ton of overhead and if your commercial grow you can't sell it for what it is worth on the market or they can't make money you see everyone has this grand idea of how it is so rich and full of money she yes it is your not even going to go and just be a success because you know what your doing it is a cut throat business and if you dont have allot of capital to begin with you are more likely to fail than become rich on a show string
 
KiLoEleMeNt

KiLoEleMeNt

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263
Yes and guilt is the most useless emotion humans have also but that doesn't stop you from feeling it.. But I do appreciate what you are saying and in that state of change right now but as I am sure everyone knows its not that easy
 
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