@fractal- I feel ya minus the celibacy part. ha. Ive been with many a lady, only serious with some and found in most relationships no matter how good/or bad they may be they just really aren't practical to being my most functional. Most are detrimental to my mental health and everyday function. Recently ive gotten into a more serious (in my eyes) relationship, with a young lady who is pretty much defying the lady odds... but even so ive come so far to the point of being comfortable single and knowing how my life changes with women in it- that even without any issues its tough to imagine anything super serious. As you stated tho- I do see myself with children, though in long term im not sure i see myself with a wife or anyone permanent.
Need companionship? Find better friends. Don't feed off of someone just to feel better about yourself. In most instances someone is going to need the other more in a relationship. I had a rough time mentally several years back, and while working with a therapist realized that the lady in my life was unnecessary stress that was preventing me from dealing with other things in my life. For the next several years I never pursued anything very seriously or anything that was stressful with a woman and learned to be comfortable in my own presence. Yes i still hooked up with chicks, but those relationships are far different than a companion. And recreational wise- fractal is right too- try some psychedelics and let your mind open up a bit and you quit relying on the social norm to get by.
Its funny because many of my close friends are in pretty serious relationships. So lately they have been hella encouraging me to settle down some because i "actually found a good one". I laugh, and one reason i think its going well is because i don't need a relationship and don't try for anything long term. Enjoying whats in the moment without relying on someone is key. That confidence not only keeps who you are with happy, but strangely makes other chicks want ya more too. lol.
True that! Too many people think that they need to find someone else to "complete" them. That will turn into a vampiric relationship in a hurry. You need to have yourself figured out the best you can before intruding on someone else's life. Also ignoring little things that pop up and are HUGE red flags, but letting your hormones override the notion that something ain't right. I had a great example of that one time that I won't get into but it would have saved me 3 years of a bad relationship, and another 3 years til now where I am still paying the price for it. That's SIX YEARS, almost 20% of my LIFE that I threw away just from one bad decision that was easily acted on.
But I'm getting better! I have an ex I dated 10 years ago, known her since high school. I was on facebook only 6 months total but we hooked up again on FB and started talking. I thought I still had feelings for her and told her that. She was cool with it, we kept talking and still do. However, I am getting nasty, nasty bad feelings about it. I mean full blown "close the hatches! dive, dive dive!" feelings about her. So while I am staying friendly, I no longer have the urge to pursue a relationship or anything.
Guys listen to your brain not your
Advanced Nutrients(tm) kiddy poker. Women too, you can be infatuated with someone like nobody's business but don't rely on romantic notions of a perfect relationship.