Staying up is one of my problems. Can`t sleep at night when there are no distractions. I then can`t stay awake in the mornings. I`m getting so slow at getting things done. I keep telling myself I need to put it into gear, but... It also doesn`t help that it makes me feel sick when I can`t accomplish anything or it maybe from the cool morning air, not sure. When it rains or gets cloudy it makes my bones ach that much more. I got a new alarm clock as the old one didn`t work. Trying to put myself into a schedule. I`m also making a work list. Even when I don`t get much done it helps to see something crossed off the list. I just wonder what any of it means when your number is up. Does anyone even care? Does anyone even remember what you did with your life`s efforts? It doesn`t help that being way up in the forest, not a very social atmosphere. OK that`s also one of the things I like about being in the mountains at the same time. Don`t get me wrong I love trips to the city with everything going on all the time, but it gets old fast and I also need to retreat back to the mountains. That`s why I left the Bay Area back in the early 70`s . Just need to return every once in a while to remind myself I guess. It may be one of those times. I should go visit my sister as she also has some things of my Dads she wants to give me. I understand she is also going through some of the same feelings. It`s been hard on her and she wonders if in selling off stuff from the estate , if she`s doing a good job. She text me that she feels guilty like she isn`t getting enough for some of the stuff that our parents worked so hard for all of there lives. I told het I don`t think what they had is the sum of what they accomplished. I also am happy I`m not burdened with being the executer of the estate. She`s doing a much better job than I would have been able to do.
