bunkerking
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Also LOL at picking middle out. Thats something that would totally happen (in tech). Just figuring out the math of nonsense.
My little sister overdosed earlier this week. She's okay now, but the experience of calling a hospital to see if your sister is alive or not is fucking harrowing. Appreciate the good people in life while we have them.
Turns out that in addition to being tremendously fun, acid and shrooms affect a part of the brain that's called the default mode network.
One of the roles that it plays in our brains is that it sets patterns. Which is why things like addictions are hard to break. It also filters the world so that we're biased to view things in ways that reinforce our already held-opinions. Essentially, we literally create our own reality by creating and reinforcing our patterns.
Dissolving the dmn, aka ego death, is very similar by all descriptions to the Buddhist concept of enlightenment. When it dissolves, we feel "connected," "one with all things," "a tiny part of a huge amazing universe."
The concept of interconnectedness is antithetical to the concept of ego, so essentially a role of the dmn is to regulate how we view ourselves in relation to those around us. IE: Democrat/Republican, every other thing in the US that's somehow become polarized politically.
When we take actions that reinforce "our tribe" in opposition to "other tribes," we're programming our dmn to view members of that tribe as enemies, essentially drawing a "self" around our tribe and an "other" around the other. This is good in that it does things like getting people to attack and ostracize rapists and child molesters, for instance. This is harmful in that this same concept can be extrapolated to "other" things unhelpfully, like saying that all members of a race or religion or region or political leaning are bad.
The interconnectedness/ego, self/other, faith/doubt ratios of a person can essentially be tuned and balanced with psychedelics and meditation. I believe that depression is generally an affliction of people not feeling interconnected enough, and that narcissism is the product of people believing that they are overly important to the people around them. Both of these illnesses create their own patterns in the DMN, which lead to behaviors and thoughts that continue to perpetuate these patterns. If something were to exist like a trip sitter plus rehab, where people can have their desired patterns reinforced and their undesired ones (addiction) get a solid dmn wall built around the concept of doing whatever addictive substance again.
I don't claim to be an expert, or to know everything. All I can say for certain is that I reset my dmn last January and the symptoms of my personal PTSD and depression were reduced for months afterwards. Last fall I literally set a suicide date and now I'm alive and happy.
My little sister overdosed earlier this week. She's okay now, but the experience of calling a hospital to see if your sister is alive or not is fucking harrowing. Appreciate the good people in life while we have them.
My little sister overdosed earlier this week. She's okay now, but the experience of calling a hospital to see if your sister is alive or not is fucking harrowing. Appreciate the good people in life while we have them.
I can relate. Your definitely not alone. Its wonderful to treat my ailments with cannabis but when I quit my dr and counseling I break down. Keep your chin up its big hearted folks like us that keep the world from totally burning.Definitely a gem of a thread, and a good time to pull it back from the archives, @ComfortablyNumb .
I was going to treatment for the past year or so to deal with depression, suicidal ideations, anxiety, and the all the wonderful shit that comes along with those afflictions. Well, I had to postpone an appointment and my shrink still charged me for the original one, and I've now developed too much anxiety to call and reschedule -- partially from being pissed off about paying for a service I didn't get and partially because when I drop the ball on something, it fucks with my head something fierce.
Going into the holidays this year with a bit more weight than last year. My nephew is AWOL chasing the dragon, not even 18 yet and picked up a demon that'll haunt him for the rest of his life (fellow addicts/recovering addicts know what I mean). Scary shit knowing a kid you watched grow up is out there, gambling with life and death, and hoping the texts from his dad or younger brother aren't "The Text." A cousin of mine was murdered by a police officer about a month ago, left behind a 12 year old son. Hadn't talked to him in years, but it's hard not to miss someone you grew up with when something like death makes that distance a permanent installment in your life.
I've got a buddy staying with me atm that's trying to get back on his feet, but the welcome is thinning. He doesn't have a job, and keeps bringing drama into the house from his baby mama. For the second time in three weeks, the warm bodies in my house has doubled because he has his girls with him this weekend. Of course, since he doesn't have a job, I'm footing the bill for their care and accommodations. I'm alright with doing it, but it's just added weight on my shoulders given I am the sole earner for a family of four, there's not a whole lot extra left over to feed another adult (on top of supplying habits) and their kids.
On the topic of hallucinogens, I've been debating taking a mushroom trip for the first time in over a decade. A long period of traumas, losses, transitions, and growth have certainly impacted a lot of things and I carry some habits now I swore I'd never have when I was younger. It's time to reset the DMN, get my headspace back where it belongs.
Thanks for putting this thread together @Kanzeon, it's hard for a lot of people to be open about shit but sometimes knowing others are living or have lived through similar life experiences is helpful, even if when talking about whatever is going on it feels like shouting into the void.
It explains so much...Yep. Being diagnosed with ASD puts a lot of things in perspective. It's a big paradigm shift.
lady bug,you dont think about it at all,just drive on,from experience,it can and it will be gone just like that,halloween i will be 2 years old and no matter how bad you convinced yourself it is the worst. when it back every thing even your very worst day is a refreshing feeling,nothing can stand in your way ,every waking moment means a reaction for a action a complete new world.Glad this was resurrected. I’m pretty open as is, but I’ve been doing a lot of further retreating from sharing my emotional state because, well, I am feeling so much like a burden to those in my life who love me. I lost a very good friend in September and that’s been fucking with my head a lot. Physically, things suck but hoping once my foot fusion heals, at least one source of pain will have been significantly reduced. Until that time, everything is just going through the motions. I’m glad I have my animals because it would be days before anyone would even realize I was gone, and I can’t do that to them. My daughter, she would be devastated but maybe she’d have less anxiety about my health. I can’t do that to her either. Finding whatever reason I can to keep holding on. At some point, it needs to be for me. I’m 53 and started self injuring at the age of 7. Too fucking long to feel this way.
I cut too. Life is hard yes..I tried suicide at 13. I'm 52 now and so glad to be alive. I've had my struggles with chemicals but I'm still alive. Honest I'm normally a very private person and always felt different. I can navigate the outside world but prefer my bubble. Thanks for resurrection of the thread..sometimes I just need to know I'm not alone..and grow excellent weed lol.Glad this was resurrected. I’m pretty open as is, but I’ve been doing a lot of further retreating from sharing my emotional state because, well, I am feeling so much like a burden to those in my life who love me. I lost a very good friend in September and that’s been fucking with my head a lot. Physically, things suck but hoping once my foot fusion heals, at least one source of pain will have been significantly reduced. Until that time, everything is just going through the motions. I’m glad I have my animals because it would be days before anyone would even realize I was gone, and I can’t do that to them. My daughter, she would be devastated but maybe she’d have less anxiety about my health. I can’t do that to her either. Finding whatever reason I can to keep holding on. At some point, it needs to be for me. I’m 53 and started self injuring at the age of 7. Too fucking long to feel this way.
Depression kills. We have to teach ourselves not to think that way. Simple, but not easy. Keep swinging girl, sooner or later you're gonna pop depression in the eye and it will leave you alone. Keep on smiling.Glad this was resurrected. I’m pretty open as is, but I’ve been doing a lot of further retreating from sharing my emotional state because, well, I am feeling so much like a burden to those in my life who love me. I lost a very good friend in September and that’s been fucking with my head a lot. Physically, things suck but hoping once my foot fusion heals, at least one source of pain will have been significantly reduced. Until that time, everything is just going through the motions. I’m glad I have my animals because it would be days before anyone would even realize I was gone, and I can’t do that to them. My daughter, she would be devastated but maybe she’d have less anxiety about my health. I can’t do that to her either. Finding whatever reason I can to keep holding on. At some point, it needs to be for me. I’m 53 and started self injuring at the age of 7. Too fucking long to feel this way.
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