Aqua Man
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I fuckin lost my shoe to a dock spider on the first night of long weekend camping trip.... was fishing in the boat look down and fuckin spider the size of a tarantula on my shoe... I fucking kicked my leg so hard my dam shoe flew off and landed in the lake. Steel toe... fuckin gone.Well HOLY SHIT!!! I came super close to burning my shed to the ground ..
I dont wear shoes in my shed. I take them off outside before going in.. so I went in there today to check on the plant (still seems weird not saying plants plural..), and as I'm going into the tent I catch something out of the corner of my eye coming around the corner of the tent. Fucking enormous wolf spider about 2.5-3" across his legs, small tarantula looking bastard.. he shot me a look of "I'm gonna kill you mother f***er and charged right at me doin Mach-chicken. Without boots on I instinctively didn't want to step on him, so In sock feet I jumped over it!, the bastard turned around and came after me again, and fuck are those things quick!! I bolted outside and put my boots on and went back in to find it and send it to hell where it belongs. And could not find the prick. Looked for nearly an hour. I legitimately thought my only recourse was gonna be burning the fuker to the ground. And then, just like that, he came around the tent again and charged right into the heel under my boot. Phew.. my damn ticker is pounding! Hahaha.
Jesus I hate the spiders in BC. If it's not huge wolf spiders, it's Black widows or giant house spiders. Not a fan.
Everyone was going tk the bar that night... I said I ain't fuckin going with 1 shoe. Smart-ass reply was put a buncha socks on it and pretend it's broken....asshats.
So I fucking end up going. First dam words from the doorman... where's your other shoe? Fuck me... I had to barrow shoes all dam night so I didn't have to walk on the piss cover bathroom floors.
I still get bugged about it now and again and the worst part was nobody seen the spider so they all laugh and say yeah sure 3" spider... ok.
No joke that fucker was 3" and looked like a tarantula.